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Illusion Conclusion
Jerry Stocking
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Illusion Conclusion — Core (16 Tapes)
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Tape 13 – Side B
Tape 13 – Side B
IC_T13B
42:41
69 nuggets
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Transcript
193 utterances · click to jump
00:00
S0
One of the things he's done is he's raised the bar on what evidence there is for someone liking him.
00:11
S0
Oh, this is too. We can't you knew that I wasn't gonna not go into this, didn't you? Yeah. I was hoping.
00:21
S0
So
00:25
S0
what is it? Have a seat. What does it take to know that Tom likes you? That's slow dancing. Okay. So what else? I mean, that that way you'd have to have music on probably and you'd have to get close to them and yeah. I mean, all of a sudden, you'd lose your license to practice dentistry because in she comes or he in Alaska. He's got big boots on. He's ready to have this motor work done, and you go, we have to dance first because I wanna know you like me because I only work on people I like.
01:06
S0
How else?
01:12
S0
See, we're now working with switches in the brain Yeah. Or rather in the mind. We're working with switches. What has to happen for you to know that he likes you? We're getting right underneath an absolutely vital point in your life which is what makes you a victim of everybody and everything all the time.
01:38
S0
Do you need something out here to happen to know that he likes you? I wouldn't think that you should. But how would you do that? It has to be something in here. Wouldn't it? Yeah. What would it be in there?
01:55
S0
I can just tell.
01:58
S0
Yeah. That's something that chickens yield, and it's not eggs.
02:13
S0
Do you need evidence for it? If you need evidence, you gotta dance there. But do you have a dance here?
02:22
S0
Does he like it?
02:25
S0
Mhmm. How do you know? I have evidence. Shucks. How about Joe? Don't have any evidence. Does he like you? Don't know. Yes. I can really How would you know? Now he's he got evidence that fast. He's got gas from lunch.
02:55
S0
Could this influence your self image or self esteem just a tiny bit? You walk into a party, there are a 100 people there.
03:06
S0
You never met any of them before. How many of them like you? Does it matter to you if they like you? This is yes. Yes. This is no. How many of them like you?
03:27
S0
You don't know. I know.
03:31
S0
I do. I know that of you guys.
03:38
S0
How would you go about knowing that walking in? And what if you knew that absolutely positively walking in?
03:49
S0
That particular thing? Without a doubt. Yes. I'm not saying I can't generalize it and use it everywhere because I do.
04:00
S0
Would that be good? Would it? I don't know. How would you operate at the party? I want them all to like me. Well, they do like me.
04:10
S0
I mean, the party hasn't even happened yet, and they like me. It's gonna be fun. What's the sense of going?
04:18
S0
That's why I don't go anymore. Oh, you're so nervous. The outcome is not in doubt for me anymore. The outcome is doubt in doubt for you, so you ought to go.
04:32
S1
Is there any core correlation between what you think of yourself and what the people think if the people like you at the party? Is it because you walk into a party liking yourself that's becau and that's why others like you? Is that what you're saying?
04:48
S0
No. It's not what I'm saying. It's a decision that you make. It's a decision That you make. I suggest it's a fact. That's also a decision that you make. You sure? Yes. How do you know?
05:07
S0
Eliminate everything else that's No. Because it's a decision that you made. You see, that doesn't get us very far. K. Because then we go from my decision to your decision and then some other decision and you you follow it, where do you get To more thinking. That's the only place that'll get you to. Decision is a euphemism for choice. It means to kill off the alternatives like homicide, suicide, decide. It's to kill off the alternatives. I didn't kill off the alternatives. I can walk into the party and have no one like me or 50% of the people like me or 25% of the people like me or 6% of the people like me.
05:58
S1
So it's your choice.
05:59
S0
But you can't.
06:01
S1
Because you you don't have a preference if they like you or not.
06:05
S0
I can change the parameter by which we define them liking me faster than they can change whether they like me or not.
06:17
S0
I can change the parameter of what liking me is so fast that they won't have any idea about anything. I can walk in the party and no one will know I was there. I can meet every single person in the place and no one will know I was there.
06:35
S0
But you have to be there in a particular way, and then you have to get particular indicators from someone of whether or not they like you because you have certain ways that you define that. What I'm telling you is you've defined the whole world. You've defined everything. So that pretty soon you got no room. And if they don't smile at the right time, they don't like you. And if they don't put their arm around you at the right time, they don't love you. And then if they don't do that at the right time, and if they don't do this at the right time, and we're right on here with assertions and declarations. An assertion is a statement about a thing and I'm suggesting to you that you live in a world of things and some of them have hearts that beat.
07:24
S0
A lot of them have the only ones you really care about have hearts that beat, but they're things for you. Thus, you have to enter into a world of evidence regarding them. I don't need any evidence. I declare it.
07:41
S0
An assertion requires evidence. A declaration requires authority. In other words, if I enter the party, do you know why I'm there?
07:57
S0
I'm there to find out about me. That's it. That's all I'm ever anywhere for is to find out about me. And I suspect you go places for some purpose other than that. And I further suggest that that's too lowly a purpose for a human being. It's much too lowly a purpose. You go to a party to find out their opinions about you
08:27
S0
or to try not to find out about their opinions about you. Like evidence, I create their opinions about me. I can make them like me. I can make them hate me. I can make them do anything in between. Why? Because I can like them or hate them or anything in between. At any point in time, I can fall so deeply in love with them. You think that doesn't influence them? You've gone home with somebody just because they gave you a little bit of unexpected attention.
09:05
S0
What if you had the whole realm available to you, then you would enter a realm in which you created, which is about declaration, rather than reacted,
09:19
S0
which is about assertion. The question is how you're gonna live? Are you gonna make it up? And I'm not talking make it up like illusion to contribute more to solidifying your illusion. I'm telling you that almost anything worth being proved can't be proved.
09:43
S0
And I'm further telling you what's the quote?
09:48
S0
Almost everything that you've been taught doesn't exist, not only exists, but can be easily proved.
09:59
S0
You have so much stuff in the way of illusion that you walk into your party and you try and find someone who will accept a little bit of your illusion.
10:12
S0
You don't wanna know if they like you. You wanna know if they like your illusion. That's why you go to dinner with her and she wants to talk about this and the food and that and the food. You think this isn't her illusion?
10:25
S0
Anything she wouldn't do if the theater were burning down before she ran out
10:34
S0
is illusion.
10:37
S0
One of my quotes is that reality requires no maintenance. If it requires maintenance, it's not real. So would she say these kinds of things if the theater was burning down and her life was in jeopardy? Not for a moment. Well, then don't let her say them now.
10:58
S0
What if you had the full spectrum? What if you could be deeply in love with somebody who didn't care about you at all? Watch how it influences them not caring about you at all.
11:10
S0
How long does it take? Not long.
11:15
S0
But you wander around like these conditions that don't even exist are real and persevere.
11:25
S0
I'm not telling you that you create your own reality because you don't. You create your own illusion.
11:34
S0
Since you create your own illusion, you could make it up any way you want. I walk into the party, I am the stud.
11:43
S0
It matters not who's there. I have arrived.
11:49
S0
And any way you look at me and anything you think about me, guess what? It's evidence for it.
11:59
S0
Anything you do is evidence for it.
12:04
S0
This must be a gay party.
12:10
S0
Getting excited. Oh, must be a New York party. You guys all have different ways of showing how much you adore me.
12:21
S0
Thanks. I appreciate it.
12:25
S0
The game is you go out into the world and they try and be a stimulus, whoever you come into contact with, whether you live with them, work with them, run into them occasionally at the store, they try and be a stimulus.
12:42
S0
And if they're a stimulus, then you're a response. They try and be a stimulus primarily by converting you into a thing.
12:55
S0
Watch.
12:58
S0
Insult her, please, as aggressively as you possibly can. God, you're ugly. God, you're ugly. What is that? It's an assertion. Insult him, please. I hate your beard. I hate your beard. That's not an assertion. It's really framed like a declaration, but in fact, she's saying his beard doesn't work. You get it? She's saying it's a bad beard. Aren't you? Which
13:35
S0
makes it another assertion. You attempt to convert something that is an ungrounded assessment into a grounded assessment. You attempt to make your judgment a fact and by that you triumph over whatever is going on out here
13:56
S0
and you be get to be the stimulus.
14:00
S0
Right there. Insult somebody. Your feet stink. Assertion.
14:10
S0
You go around making assertions. Another way to insult somebody is you look gorgeous in those glasses. Right. Right. It's an insult again. I have now just locked her identity to the glasses if she believes me, and not only that, I have derived some power in her life over the aspect of how you look. If I do that seven or eight or 10 times to you, you're gonna and I do them all positive, think of what happens when I make a negative one. She's gonna take it like real because she took the other ones like real. An insult is any assertion made to the positive or to the negative. It doesn't matter which way.
14:58
S0
It matters not. Both are an attempt to be the stimulus, which is an attempt to force somebody else to be the response, to convert them into a thing. The biggest difference between a thing
15:15
S0
having to do with evidence and authority is that authority allows things to be created, whereas having them be a thing, you've got to work with what's there. You follow?
15:31
S0
This is yes. This is no.
15:33
S1
Yes.
15:34
S0
We'll we'll drive quickly at the distinction between these two. K? Somebody's running for second base and they slide in. Umpire says, you're out. What does that mean? They're out? I declare you out. Means they're out. What does it mean about their foot in the base? Nothing. No. It doesn't mean that. It doesn't mean anything about it because the umpire's word, the umpire is an authority. He doesn't need the the foot to be anywhere near the base except if he wants to stay an umpire for long.
16:13
S0
Get the bum out of there. Now meanwhile, the sportscaster sits up in the booth and says, he was safe. What's the relevance of that? The sportscaster is making an assertion. He is asserting that the foot did not get to the bag. I mean, did get to the bag. He's asserting something. Not only that, he's got an instant replay. Guy's still out. Why? Because the umpire has the authority to make a declaration. Where do you have the authority to make a declaration? Universe is my playground.
16:55
S0
He has the authority to make a declaration regarding rocket science. In particular parameters surrounding propulsion and weights and foot pounds or whatever you measure it in and all of this stuff, he says those and somebody listens
17:14
S0
because they know he's got the authority to make them. And not only that, he gained the authority partially by making a whole lot of assertions that he had evidence for until he could then step out and do this.
17:28
S0
So the difference is whether you're an authority, whether you're creating, or whether you're reacting.
17:36
S0
You wander around in the world and you try and have people listen to you like you know what you're talking about, don't you? In all sorts of areas that you don't have any clue what you're talking about. Oh, nice blazer. I love the way the pin goes on there. In other words, it's a good pin and it's a nice blazer.
17:58
S0
Meanwhile, I'm trying to usurp her ability to perceive the pin or the blazer
18:07
S0
and have to perceive it through me. In other words, I become her eyeglasses that she has to look through. Then, pretty soon, if this happens a number of days in a row at work, she becomes dependent upon my opinion of how she looks in the morning. How many of you have somebody like this in your life that you you're dependent upon their opinions about you?
18:34
S0
I would think a number of you do.
18:37
S0
Some of you have mass quantities of people, which is anybody in the world. Anybody who happens to walk up to you and go, oh, that's ugly, you go, oh, I better go home and change. And we're talking superficial there,
18:53
S0
but you can take it much deeper. You don't love me anymore. Assertion or declaration? Assertion. Assertion. It's an assertion, isn't it? I'm asserting that you don't love me. What is the evidence for love? It's whatever you make it up to be, isn't it? Mhmm. But you don't think so anymore because you don't think they love you, so you've got some kind of thing set up for what love means. Love means never having to say you're sorry.
19:25
S0
You see, they've tried to set this whole thing up for you.
19:30
S0
Haven't they? They've taken one out of the box. Yeah. They've set it up for you. They wrote those cards so you didn't have to think
19:40
S0
and so that they could define your criteria. Well, I assert that x is y.
19:49
S0
X isn't y. X is just close enough to y that you can't tell the difference. That's all you're saying. X is close enough to y that I can't tell the difference. It's my lack of ability to distinguish between the two. Because I can't tell the difference, I'm gonna treat them the same. Right, Dick? It's called a generalization.
20:18
S0
And pretty soon, everything's the same as everything else. Pretty soon, you don't love me, so she doesn't love me either.
20:28
S0
In other words, where does the switch happen? How do you know somebody loves you? How do you know somebody loves you? Don't you have a whole setup of parameters that determine, that convince you that somebody loves you? If you really examine underneath it, you find that you do. You have a set up of what it takes to be convinced that somebody loves you. Now on the surface, you go, they love me or they don't.
20:59
S0
But underneath it, you've got something that flips that switch because you could stand there and you could say, well, he loves me, she doesn't, he doesn't, she does.
21:11
S0
And you're comparing it to what you've set up as acceptable as love. What this is, is it's a certain combination of stuff and holes in your consciousness that you say that's love.
21:26
S0
What if you could alter what re what is evidence
21:33
S0
rather than having to find a particular set?
21:38
S0
What are the indicators of love that we can agree upon? Allowing you to be who you are. Allowing you to be who you are.
21:52
S0
Alright. Allowing
21:56
S0
to be who? What else? I mean, really, what do you do with this stuff? Love is an emotion.
22:05
S0
Yeah. But how do you know when somebody loves you?
22:10
S1
They kiss you back.
22:11
S0
They take the garbage out. They kiss your back.
22:21
S0
Take garbage out. They tell you. Tell you, Oh, aren't they nice and truthful? You gotta love that. Did you say that? I did. You know why they told you that? Probably not. I mean No. But but you know why they would.
22:42
S0
Can anybody imagine?
22:46
S0
Why would you tell her you loved her?
22:54
S0
I think Carol's figured it out. I think Carol's used it.
23:01
S0
It's not a nerve.
23:04
S0
Mike to Carol, please. I think she needs to tell us. They want to play with you.
23:11
S0
That's nicely put. What's that? Yeah. Key to the bedroom. I made a picture. What
23:20
S0
else? How do you know they love you?
23:23
S1
They think you're the greatest thing in the world.
23:25
S0
They think you're Ali. Okay? Okay. Why else? Why would they love you? I mean, how do you know that they love you? To snuggle them. Long
23:44
S0
snuggling. How do you know that they love you? Praise you in front of others. Praise in public. No expectation. Isn't it funny? I thought it was the opposite. Yeah. I thought they expected everything in return. Die for you? Die for you. Love my country.
24:13
S0
God. I just I'm dazzled.
24:18
S0
Because I would say they live for you,
24:23
S0
which just opens up some more time for us, you know? I would say all expectations.
24:36
S0
So how many of these are grounded? None of them. None of them. Not one of them. Every single one of them is ungrounded because really you're saying take the garbage out enough. They're all ungrounded. So what you're now saying to me is that if you get enough ungrounded things together, you can finally prove something. So
25:11
S0
by the way, you guys made all of these up.
25:17
S0
What if I said that she loves me if she's sitting, standing, or lying down or some version of those three?
25:31
S0
Who loves me in here? How
25:38
S0
many people do you want to love you in the world? Everyone. Oh, well, no. You don't. Because you built it so they don't. You built it so they had to perform certain tasks that were entirely subjective so that you could move them around any which way to allow in whoever
26:00
S0
you wanted to or allow out whoever you wanted to. And you don't think any of these are contingent upon your mood, do you?
26:13
S0
They bring me enough roses. First date, one beautiful rose. You go, oh. Oh, it's he brought a rose. It's amazing. It's such a beautiful rose. Seventeen years of marriage, four dozen roses.
26:34
S0
I like the yellow ones. These are all red. Oh, I poked myself.
26:42
S0
Dang it. And what do we do with four dozen? You know?
26:48
S0
He could've given me one dozen, and that would've been fine. But what did he spend on four dozen?
26:55
S0
Don't you? You change these parameters all over the place. Does that mean love changes?
27:04
S0
Pretty goofy, isn't it? So you make your connection with another human being completely dependent upon your subjective subjective ungrounded assessments.
27:18
S0
And in the process, it's no huge surprise that you get a little bit insecurity back.
27:26
S0
And, of course, the closer you are to somebody, the crazier you are. So the more apt you are to move these things all over the place making certain that they can't get through no matter what.
27:40
S0
It's a pretty neat theory that the more ungrounded things you get finally provide you complete evidence. Think of if science worked that way.
27:53
S0
Would you ride in the plane? No.
27:58
S0
Would you navigate your love life? Not
28:04
S0
a chance.
28:06
S0
Assertions are unnecessary except in specific situations such as surgery where they say, I need a number 10 scalpel because you want the dentist to have the right piece of stuff. Right? But if he looks at his hygienist or his receptionist and uses the same sort of logic he used to get a number 10 scalpel, he's taken junk like this and made it into stuff like this,
28:42
S0
and you can't afford it.
28:46
S0
You can't afford it. I I have a little secret for you guys. Everybody loves me.
28:55
S0
They do. Can you imagine living in a world where everybody loves you? Everywhere I go they love me. Even when they aren't there they love me.
29:09
S0
We're living in the world of illusion here, you guys. You can make it up any way you want, and you did. But then you forgot you made it up. Do you do you follow that? You forgot you made it up. You made it up. You made it up that they tell the truth. Is that weird? How many of you raise your hand if you've ever had somebody tell you that they loved you
29:35
S0
when in fact you knew that they didn't? Raise your hand. Look around. You, look around.
29:42
S0
So you might not want to trust what they say. Here's another one. How many of you have fallen in love with the garbage man?
29:53
S0
Isn't that would that one wouldn't that require that?
29:58
S0
Because the garbage man always takes the garbage out.
30:03
S0
Long snuggling, get a dog.
30:06
S0
But only a particular breed. Golden retriever would be good. Irish setter is not a good idea unless you get a really old one.
30:17
S0
I love this one. This is almost grounded, allowing you to be who you are.
30:25
S0
I'm waiting. What are you waiting for? I'm allowing you I'm waiting for I'm wait waiting for you to allow me to be who I are.
30:38
S0
How do I do that? I don't know, but I'm waiting.
30:45
S0
But you did look at somebody and say they love me or they don't. And I love you or I don't. How do you know when you love somebody?
30:58
S0
Is it dependent on stuff in them? If so, your response, that ain't love.
31:07
S0
Responses can't love. Responses just can be hooked to stimuli. That's it. That they then excuse. Oh, I didn't mean to do this. I just had to because this was there.
31:21
S0
What if love was a creation?
31:25
S0
So I'll just give you an example. This is how I define love.
31:31
S0
Inclusion.
31:33
S0
Anyone I include as myself, that's love.
31:41
S0
If I view them other than me, it's not love.
31:47
S0
So then I better start working on my ability to include. Don't you think? Imagine what that does for triangulations.
31:56
S0
If everybody
31:59
S0
is included, That would make a really interesting world, wouldn't it? But you don't wanna include everybody. You wanna find somebody in particular that you can gain power by excluding
32:12
S0
should your insecurities rise up.
32:17
S0
Three groups, please.
32:21
S0
Please refer to the maturity exercise in your booklet.
32:27
S0
So it's time to grow up.
32:31
S0
The way to grow up there are lots of ways to grow up, but one way in particular is to exit the world in which if you get enough ungrounded things, you finally have evidence for anything.
32:43
S0
In other words, to leave assertions to things and start using declarations with people.
32:54
S0
I declare that I am x is a declaration. I declare that x is y is an assertion. The way to get out from under an assertion, and you all have been under many assertions,
33:13
S0
attempts by others, groups, or individuals to turn you into a thing. In other words, to turn you into something predictable. The difference between a living beast and something nonliving is the predictability of what will happen next to it without any stimuli.
33:36
S0
Get that? The living thing has a much greater range of possibility without any stimuli. You don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know what he's going to do. But weird as it may seem, you have exerted all the effort you possibly could to make everything as predictable as possible
34:02
S0
by keeping your seven plus or minus two as much the same. You guys get the connection there? You've tried to make it the same
34:12
S0
when in fact the definition of life is that it's unpredictable.
34:18
S0
There's a very small range of things this can do right there. It can decompose slowly. It can't fall off. What can it do without stimuli? What can you do without stimuli?
34:36
S0
All kinds of things. Can't you?
34:40
S0
You can do a tremendous range of things without stimuli. So if you wanna be alive, you're gonna have to give up shelter. You're gonna have to give up control. You're gonna have to give up all of that stuff. I don't mean to be harping on that, but a harp seems to be what I have here. So I'm gonna harp it.
35:05
S0
He played the harp
35:08
S0
beautifully. And
35:12
S0
they all fell apart. The kid says, What are they all crying for? I said, That's what they do on Friday of the new IC course, they all cry. She hadn't been to one of these yet. That's what they do on Friday. It's just what they do. So,
35:29
S0
you walk out into the world. Did you guys realize that you aren't gonna be here forever? You're gonna go out into the world. You're gonna go back to where people don't treat you like this. You're gonna go back to where people don't talk to you like this. You're gonna go back to a world which has been entirely arranged by you to keep you stuck.
35:54
S0
From the bed to the kids to the ex husband to the everything has been arranged by you to keep yourself stuck.
36:06
S0
And at first, you're gonna go, this is bizarre. And then if you don't watch it within twenty minutes, you're gonna go, I'm home. I'm home.
36:17
S0
So we gotta find out how to have you carry this over and not have it just disappear. I mean, it really won't disappear because it keeps going remember, we're talking ten years till it it hits full stride. We are. I mean, you can you were away for four years. Did it keep going? It kept going and I didn't consciously practice anything. And not a clue that it kept going and it kept going. It does. Don't worry. And it's possible to get more out of it. So you're gonna wander out into your world and somebody's gonna try and have you be the way you were.
36:55
S0
It's yeah, everybody. Just about everybody is going to try and have you be exactly how you were, only you're not that way. You're not that particular set of limitations anymore. You're not. Now, let's find out some real practical ways that you can play at that. So I want you to get in groups three groups, and what's going to happen is one of you is going to make an assertion about another person in the group. And I want you to make an assertion that you were absolutely convinced is an assertion, that you have evidence for it no matter what.
37:40
S0
And then what's gonna happen? The nature of an assertion is that it stops things. I mean, it turns them into things, so things are there. They have a physicality, they have a stuckness to them. What I then want you to do is a really magical event, the person who has been turned into a thing allegedly. I want you to rise from the dead. And rising from the dead is easier than you might think. Staying dead is hard. It takes mass quantities of illusion piled on top of illusion, piled on top of you. Staying dead is very, very difficult. Coming back to life is easy, so they drop an assertion on you.
38:28
S0
You're dressed very, very poorly
38:35
S0
or you're dressed really well. I don't care. You never can insult someone more deeply than you can compliment them. These two go right together. You can't compliment them deeply if you can't insult them deeply. You these don't they don't go out of whack.
38:57
S0
I don't necessarily want these about clothes.
39:02
S0
So they're gonna drop an assertion on you. Then the way to CPR for the mind is a request and a promise.
39:17
S0
That's the way you bring it back to life because remember requests and promises are about action. They're about getting things moving.
39:29
S0
So I want you to then get things moving. The trick here is that one of you insults the other one by making an assertion. And do you have any idea how often this happens in your life? That people make assertions regarding you? Mhmm. Almost constantly. As a matter of fact, you probably have some friends who never make anything but assertions. Mhmm. And I assert they're not your friends.
39:56
S0
So they make an assertion, and then you make a request.
40:01
S0
It goes something like
40:05
S0
we'll do a tough one first. Okay? Carol and Kathleen.
40:13
S0
So one of the neat things about Carol, it's not the only neat thing, but one of the neat things is she's always insulted. Do you know that? No. I did not. You got it?
40:25
S0
Yeah. I get it. She was already insulted. I don't have to even say anything. She's already insulted. She walks in. She's already insulted. So that's why we picked kind of an easy one here. Okay? So you're gonna be already, look at her.
40:43
S0
Can you tell? A little. A little. K. Yeah. That took a slight edge off of it, but it's still here. I'm still in deep trouble. Can you tell it? Yeah. Yeah. Everybody is. Yeah. Because you're always insulted. If she's breathing, she's insulted.
41:04
S0
Do you see it? Did you see it? It's a beautiful day outside.
41:13
S0
It insults her. Yes. It does. And you can watch it happen, and they can see it happen, and you can't yet. Yeah. But you'll learn to. Okay. And then you'll get to limber this whole thing up here. Okay. Okay. So insult her, please.
41:29
S0
I really love staying at your house.
41:35
S0
Is that an insult to you? No.
41:40
S0
Are you able to insult? I got your innuendo, but she didn't. Okay.
41:48
S0
I say you hit hide behind the innuendo rather than saying what you really think. That ferret stinks.
41:57
S0
Mhmm. So that's what you do is you let a few responses go by Mhmm. First.
42:03
S0
Okay? Because you've we saw the first one.