IC
Illusion Conclusion
Jerry Stocking
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Illusion Conclusion — Core (16 Tapes)
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Tape 6 – Side B
Tape 6 – Side B
IC_T06B
44:48
81 nuggets
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Transcript
337 utterances · click to jump
00:02
S0
You got some ways you're pretty unique, don't you?
00:05
S1
I don't like it. Yeah. I do.
00:09
S0
Got any hobbies?
00:13
S1
Repairing snow machines, building kitchens, remodeling houses
00:17
S2
K.
00:17
S1
Carving pumpkins, making sculptures, growing flower plants and flowers
00:25
S0
K.
00:26
S1
Painting my truck.
00:30
S0
Any of these you do in a fairly unique way? All of them. He's trying to be bad.
00:39
S0
He doesn't know that everybody else is carving pumpkins, too.
00:44
S0
No, but mine has a little thing here that none of theirs have. Do you cut the bottom of the pumpkin out?
00:52
S1
So yeah. Sometimes.
00:54
S0
Oh, good.
00:57
S0
I'm amazed at how many people don't think of that. Do you cut the bottom of the pumpkin out?
01:01
S3
I don't carve my pumpkin.
01:02
S0
Who does? Nobody? No. There are no pumpkins?
01:06
S3
No. They're pumpkins, but not carved. Oh. They just drawn on by
01:10
S0
Would you carve some pumpkins when you get home?
01:16
S3
Why?
01:23
S0
Good or bad? Bad.
01:28
S0
Is he succeeding?
01:31
S0
No. He's about as straight laced as they come also trying to be bad.
01:35
S3
Mhmm.
01:37
S3
Good. Good. Good.
01:39
S0
Is he succeeding? Yes. Yes. Absolutely succeeding. See, you know all this, don't you?
01:46
S0
Okay. But you know this. He's good and he's good. Yeah. He's one of the better ones in the group. Hi. What's up? Believe me, I'm not comparing him to you.
02:04
S0
I wouldn't do that.
02:06
S3
What? They were me?
02:08
S0
Good or bad?
02:09
S3
Good. Good. Bad. Bad. Bad.
02:11
S0
Watch out because you got mixed opinions. Are we trying to be? This is a little no. I'm saying Be
02:17
S3
good. Bad trying to be
02:18
S0
Is she trying to be good, or is she trying to be bad? Is she good, or is she bad?
02:23
S3
She's bad. Bad trying to be good.
02:25
S0
You're trying to be bad.
02:27
S3
Don't know. No. Bad trying to be good. Bad trying to be good. I
02:33
S0
think that's accurate. What? I think she's bad trying to be good. Yeah. Think she oh, you did?
02:42
S0
Yeah. That's bad.
02:47
S3
But I think it shifted from bad trying to be bad too.
02:50
S0
I think it has. She used to be bad trying to be bad, and now she's bad trying to be good. All kinds of stuff has shifted.
02:58
S3
So for instance, with Pat, you said, I I heard that he's congruent in good and good.
03:05
S0
Yeah.
03:05
S3
Does that mean he can play anywhere in that field or it's just nonexistent? It's not well, I know it's nonexistent, but it doesn't have reference point.
03:12
S0
He's stuck over here
03:16
S0
and over here.
03:18
S0
He has a very small playing field.
03:22
S3
I understood that before as being His the same point was gave you the freedom to then Hold on.
03:31
S0
This isn't accurate.
03:37
S0
Does he this is a simple question. Is he as does he think he's as good as he really is?
03:45
S3
No. No.
03:46
S0
There's the difference. This is where he really is, and this is how good he thinks he is.
03:56
S3
So very few of us really are right where we Well,
04:01
S0
if you ever try and be either good or bad, you're not lined up. If you give a shit about good or bad, you're not lined up. If you ever try and do good or bad in relation to somebody, it's not lined up. If it's even a question that enters your head, it's not lined up. You're off center.
04:28
S0
And the question then is where do your behaviors fit in relation to your perception of them?
04:36
S0
Where does who you how do you act in relation to how you think?
04:44
S0
I am an incredible father. I'm an amazing father and I'm an absolutely terrible father.
04:58
S0
And I have no problem running pictures of both, and I have no preference for which I run. I have I have plenty of stories and plenty of pictures to prove that I'm a bad father. I do. I can run those, and I can make a case that would probably convince you that I'm a bad father.
05:21
S0
Who doesn't have both on any subject? On any subject. Now which one do you attend to? There are both on any subject, and what you're doing is you're fighting for a mental location, a place to exist to defend. And I'm telling you that place doesn't exist. It's not even on a playing field that exists.
05:50
S2
It doesn't exist. So don't attend to either?
05:55
S0
No. Attend randomly to both.
06:00
S3
Oh, so
06:01
S0
As soon as you have a point to make, you're in trouble.
06:05
S0
As soon as you try to prove that you're good, you're gonna attend only to the good ones that lops off any of the ones that contain any bad at all. Those go in a little account for yourself to experience later.
06:19
S0
If you keep attending only to the good ones, you keep putting the bad ones in an account for yourself to experience later, and you will. I promise.
06:30
S0
If you can take the good ones and the bad ones and there's some good ones and there's some bad ones and there's some good ones and there's some bad ones because it's gonna be a mix, isn't it? Mhmm. I mean, to some of you, the mix is broader than the other. Some of them, the the horrible is really horrible.
06:47
S0
And then I peeled their skin off
06:51
S0
or kicked them. And some of you and then I I I turned away for a moment.
07:01
S0
Yeah, imagine being that bad. And then I turned away for a fraction of a second. Oh my God, I'm sorry I did that.
07:10
S0
Do you know there are people in this room who would consider that bad?
07:16
S0
Turning away for a fraction of a second rather than cuffing them one really hard in the chin of Dell computer, and they don't have anything in my state. I don't pay anything.
07:27
S4
Present to
07:28
S0
me. I I the thought of calling the state and telling them I have a new computer doesn't occur to me usually. A matter of fact, when you do that,
07:37
S4
you really upset the state. Because why are you doing this? Nobody else does it.
07:40
S0
Stop it. Leave me yeah. I got it.
07:42
S4
Yeah. There has to be more to
07:44
S0
it. Yeah.
07:45
S4
So that's a way of fouling up the system, getting people to think and
07:49
S0
Okay. Civil obedience. Yeah. That's We'll call it.
07:53
S4
Wow. Okay.
07:58
S0
Good and good? Yes. Okay.
08:01
S3
Now he wants to be bad. I'm working.
08:04
S4
You're really trying work at being bad.
08:08
S0
Not on the scale. Knew. Because I
08:12
S3
did it, it doesn't ever come out.
08:14
S0
Should be bad. Hit her really hard here, would you?
08:16
S3
Right at home. Oh, jeez. I can't do that.
08:21
S0
He's not on the scale. There are some bad people in this room who if I said that to him, they would have decked her.
08:31
S0
You get it? Was safe asking you to do that because you aren't gonna do it.
08:38
S0
I can't be bad. My problem. I forgive me, father, for I can't be bad.
08:45
S4
I make up bad things, though.
08:47
S3
Things that does.
08:48
S0
Oh, no. You lust in your head?
08:50
S4
Oh, yeah. I think it's good things
08:51
S3
and bad
08:52
S4
things too.
08:53
S0
Really good. She's looking for a man who less than his head and leaves her alone.
09:05
S3
You really do know me. You do. Was
09:10
S0
there any doubt? Take 10, please.
09:18
S0
Gonna have to put down your drinks. This is your first dance. Myra, you get to dance too,
09:24
S4
please. I'll be good.
09:28
S0
First test.
09:35
S3
Go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
09:37
S0
Cut it out. If you're stuck in the good, I want you to dance bad.
09:46
S0
I see some of the good people doing particular dance moves. Frank
09:53
S0
Zappa would not approve.
09:55
S2
Do bad
09:56
S3
movements sitting down. I
09:59
S0
can do bad movements in any location in any position. I can even do bad movements lying down.
10:11
S5
Jerry plays some wild Frank Zappa dance music.
10:17
S0
Maybe a little kinesthetic involved. Yeah. That's good. It's possible.
10:28
S1
I have slipped a dollar under my belt when I was
10:35
S0
Don't forget to tell your wife. I know. She might slip you some cash herself.
10:46
S0
Please catch every word and tell me what the song's about. The
10:54
S5
love boat song by uncle Bonsai.
10:58
S0
K. That's four. Somebody tell them what it's about, please.
11:01
S3
Love Boat. Love Boat. The cancellation
11:03
S0
You ever heard of The Love Boat? So you notice you're hearing more than you were hearing? This one isn't that easy. And you hear it. You need to tune your external auditory. I'll give you one more before we get on to kinesthetic.
11:23
S0
Kmart by Uncle Bonsai.
11:27
S0
Some feelings, please, and she'll write them down. Happy.
11:33
S0
Happy. Peace.
11:36
S0
Write fast. Rough. Sure.
11:41
S0
Cold.
11:44
S3
Melancholy. Glad. Thank you. Pity. Scared.
11:51
S3
Pressure.
11:55
S3
Pangly. Glad. Excited.
12:01
S3
Excited.
12:03
S3
Anxiety.
12:07
S3
So Smooth. Tight.
12:13
S3
Love. Wet.
12:18
S3
Joy.
12:20
S3
Joy. Joy.
12:22
S0
Joy. That's right. Okay.
12:24
S1
Smooth. So listen.
12:28
S3
Peace.
12:30
S0
Lumber.
12:34
S3
And pain.
12:39
S0
Relief.
12:41
S0
Circle all the feelings, would you please, with the different color marker?
12:47
S0
So you got emotions and you've got feelings. Thanks, Bert. That's fine.
12:53
S0
Feelings, pain is questionable. It's in the mid zone.
13:00
S0
Our criteria for a feeling is that you have to be able to feel it in your little finger. I feel anxious. I don't think so. I feel heat. Mhmm. Oh, yes. Smooth.
13:18
S0
Anger. No. You can't feel it in your body independent of the conversations in your head, we say it's not a feeling. Let's use feeling to mean physical sensation. I feel it. Do you feel anger? Mm-mm. No. Do you feel a tightness? Mhmm. Yes. Do you then put a label on it anger? Mhmm. Sometimes. You might put an a label on it love depending on what your setup is. You can label anything anything, can't you?
13:57
S0
But you back yourself into a corner by not being able to label anything anything. You label something the same a few times pretty soon. You don't even need the physical sensation anymore. You just get stuck with the label. And you go, I so I'm so angry. But you aren't angry. You're just having a conversation about anger in your head. You don't even have any physical sensations with it at all. I love you.
14:27
S0
Where do you feel love? Now you do have a feeling in your body.
14:36
S0
Probably the first time you experienced love, you had quite a feeling in your body, but that's not love, that's a sensation in your body.
14:47
S0
And then you throw it into the auditory domain,
14:53
S0
your body already exists everywhere.
14:57
S0
The conversations in your head only exist in a very slow sequential manner up here. You take these feelings and you label them something else and you kill off your body in the process. Do you do you get this? And also you say, I'm angry. What does somebody say to you if you say I'm angry? What are angry about? Don't they? They say, tell me a story.
15:23
S0
Tell me a story.
15:26
S0
And you tell them a story, don't you? Well, I'm angry because and you make up something. And you reinforce your horseshit at that moment. Not only do you lose your body by calling an emotion a feeling because probably you have no feeling anymore. I mean, you've done anger often enough, you don't need your body anymore. All you need is one thought.
15:55
S0
And you have the thought, anger, and then you look out here and try and figure out what to blame it on. And you find something. Now what is the likelihood you're gonna find, let's say, you live with somebody? What is the likelihood that they're gonna get nailed with your anger quite often?
16:14
S0
Don't they? And you nail them with it. Now what if you're angry a lot? You need to find another person.
16:25
S0
Now your attention span is sufficiently short that you don't notice that the other person moves in and the anger stays there and you keep getting angry and now you think they're the reason for your anger, you don't notice what the common denominator is. All comes back to math. It always comes back to math. You're the common denominator. The anger is being generated over here and probably it's not even in your body anymore.
16:53
S0
It's just in your conversation and you repeat the conversation over and over again. This is how you get to not liking work, this is how you move from relationship to relationship, this is how you do you lose your body. Once you lose your body, you got no idea of what's here. You just have to make it up and you lose your body.
17:16
S0
Can you make it on Oprah if you say, oh, he abused me and I'm so sad.
17:25
S0
Oh, you're sad. You poor thing.
17:31
S0
The other thing those do is they lock it in so that you don't examine it. I'm just sad. Oh. If you said, have a conversation that I'm sad, somebody would look at you and say, well, change the conversation.
17:49
S0
But you don't do that. You go, I'm sad. I'm just sad.
17:56
S0
Where? Right here in the conversations in your head. Right there. I'm not saying that at one point there wasn't a connection between the two. I'm saying you don't need the connection between the two anymore.
18:13
S0
So you don't bother with your body. You just run off with your head. Let's see. Would it justify me if I was angry here? Yeah. I'm pissed.
18:24
S0
I hate it when I see somebody sitting like that. I think it's a sign of disrespect. I can't stand it. I can't believe you do that.
18:36
S0
Try just a subtle shift. You go into work, they say, I'm really angry. And by the way, that's when they've gotten to a point where they even say it. How often do they say it in their head without ever saying it out here? That's what we call the withhold index.
18:53
S0
You have to say it out here as often as you say it in your head.
18:58
S0
It's a simple ratio between the number of times you say it out here versus the number of times you say it in your head. If those aren't the same, you're withholding.
19:10
S0
And almost nobody says it more out here than they say it in their heads. So you withhold it. How's your wife?
19:20
S1
What do you mean how's my wife?
19:25
S0
I mean, h o w is your wife. Good.
19:34
S0
What kind of information did that give me? Nothing. Nothing. Tell me about your wife, please.
19:45
S0
Fun or what? Pardon? Are you having fun?
19:47
S1
Yeah. This is fun.
19:48
S0
Isn't this?
19:49
S1
No.
19:52
S0
It's not what you've called fun in the past. No. But you'll notice that your body's more alive. Mhmm. You'll notice that your head is has all kinds of you have to now define this as fun. The vein comes out in your Mhmm. Forehead.
20:08
S0
What if you called being on the spot like this fun?
20:13
S0
So you could go for this instead of calling hiding fun or sitting behind your expertise fun or sitting behind your I'm bad, but I mean, I mean, mean, whatever fun.
20:28
S0
Or I'm yeah.
20:32
S0
I'm not gonna do the hippo. Okay. Tell us about your wife, please.
20:42
S1
My mouth is moving. Nothing's coming out.
20:52
S0
Any question he likes her?
20:57
S0
Oh, yes. You do.
20:59
S1
Lots of questions about that.
21:01
S0
I know. Yeah. But all kinds of stuff Okay. Going on. Yeah. How much of it haven't you said to her?
21:12
S1
To her? Lots. But it's been said. Some of it's been said many times.
21:17
S0
Sure. Yeah. It doesn't work to say it necessarily. Yeah.
21:23
S0
What does she do primarily, picture sounds or feelings?
21:29
S1
Sounds, feelings. And
21:31
S0
what do you do for the most part?
21:34
S1
Pictures.
21:35
S0
And kinesthetic? Mhmm. So in the realm of talking about it, you lose already? Mhmm. Every time.
21:47
S0
Two words come to mind,
21:50
S0
duct tape.
21:56
S0
And not for you. So
22:01
S0
you got the good and you got the bad in there. Right?
22:03
S3
Mhmm.
22:03
S0
And it's a pretty wide spectrum. Mhmm. The stuff you really like and the stuff you don't like at all. Mhmm. K? Works a little bit like a pressure cooker.
22:18
S0
So now give me some feelings, please. Tell me some feelings.
22:24
S0
By our criteria, pain's in the middle.
22:29
S3
I'm happy.
22:35
S2
Sure relief is one I don't understand.
22:38
S0
You can't feel the absence of something. Itchy. That you could get. Itchy? Yeah.
22:48
S0
Okay?
22:52
S0
What else? More feelings?
22:53
S3
Tight throat.
22:55
S0
Tight throat? Oh, I
22:58
S3
can feel I can feel that,
22:59
S0
can't you? Tight.
23:00
S3
Tight. Yeah.
23:01
S0
Yeah. I know. I just all of a sudden, you changed the game, and you said, let's put it to a specific location in the body. Hot. Hot. Burning. Light.
23:12
S0
Light. What else we got that's a feeling? Physical sensations. Soft.
23:19
S1
Soft. Burning.
23:22
S0
What would happen if you started using feeling to mean feelings? When you organize these inaccurately calling emotions feelings, you lose your body. Mhmm. It's very simple. Mhmm. And almost everyone will reinforce you in doing so. And you lose your body. It disappears. You're sitting with somebody, they say, oh, I wish you'd get out of here. I hate you. You go, I feel a tightness in my chest. I feel a a tightness in my arms.
24:07
S0
I kind of feel like the movement to stand up, and I have a conversation in my head,
24:17
S0
whatever the conversation in your head is.
24:20
S0
You would never file things randomly if you wanted to access them again. You have filed these inaccurately so when you go to check out your body, you go into your conversations in your head.
24:38
S0
Your conversations in your head are too slow to keep track of this. Much, much, much too slow to keep track of this.
24:47
S2
I wanted to ask a question. I'm seeing a therapist that told me, when people ask what's wrong with your body, don't tell them that you have arthritis but to say that your body is arthritic ing.
25:03
S2
Is there anything wrong with that?
25:09
S0
For comedic value, I'm in favor of it. How long have you been seeing the therapist?
25:17
S2
Well, she's physical therapist, but
25:19
S0
How long have you been seeing her?
25:21
S2
About two months and she's doing quite well with me.
25:24
S0
Then you attempt to shift your language so that it encompasses that,
25:34
S0
and you make her write. And you say thanks for that. I never thought of converting arthritis, which is a noun, into arthritic ing, which is a verb, And I'm going to work on some other derivations of that to arthritis.
25:53
S0
I arthritis, we arthritis, they arthritis, you arthritis.
26:01
S2
I hadn't been doing it, but I'm I'm talking about the physical part of the therapy. She is doing fantastic with you, and I really don't wanna drop it.
26:10
S0
What did I just tell you?
26:12
S2
Oh, you think I should use it as as a verb and and every other form that No.
26:16
S0
I'm saying pay attention to what she's telling you if you like the work she's doing with you. And out of respect to her, put that in too. Now if she tells you about your relationship, you're gonna have to look at how her relationships are before you consider her to be able to tell you about that. But if she gets you saying arthritis thing and you work wake up just a little bit saying arthritis thing, I'm in favor of it. If the rest of her work is working. And if it's not, you don't bother. Never ever say arthritis again as long as her work is working.
26:56
S0
So what if you had a body there?
27:00
S0
So in a marriage, you're gonna have about equal good and bad?
27:07
S0
I don't know. What are you willing to perceive? When you're first in it, you start looking at all the good stuff, don't you? Oh my god. Oh, it's oh, jeez. And you ignore all the bad stuff. And later on, if you wanna get out of it, you look at all the bad stuff and you don't look at any and this is simple technology, ain't it? Wham. You're out of there. Or you're out of there, but not really out of there. You stay there, but you don't play there. You find someplace else to play because that's not that fun to play with. I know how that's gonna turn out.
27:48
S0
And the two of you have have to meet kinesthetically.
27:54
S0
You do. You need to go a month without speaking and touching. Only touch. Don't speak and find out what happens. She will think she's gonna pop, but she won't. I've never seen anybody pop from not saying this stuff. An amazing thing happens if she stops saying the stuff,
28:19
S0
she'll discover she didn't need to say it anyway,
28:23
S0
but the touching remained. So physical sensations, that's it. What an emotion is initially when it's created is an emotion is a mix between a conversation in your head and a physical sensation, a label stuck on this sensation. Then quickly it becomes just the label,
28:45
S0
and it justifies almost anything. The difference between, by the way, a story that works and a story that doesn't work, it's a very simple distinction.
28:57
S0
A story that works entertains. A story that doesn't work justifies. If there's any element of justification in it, shut up. Any element of justification in it, shut up.
29:18
S0
Time to have it be entertaining. Cut the justification.
29:25
S0
So what an emotion is very simply is an emotion shows up in you, and I'm talking the emotion that's connected with a physical sensation and then the label you put on it. What an emotion is very simply is it's an overlap
29:44
S0
between reality
29:47
S0
and illusion.
29:50
S0
When those two overlap, you get an emotion. It's that simple. And when you get an emotion, given that it's an overlap between the two, it is time to pay closer attention than ever before. Because if you pay closer attention than ever before, you can get a glimpse of reality because it's right there. Normally, business as usual, comfortable, whatever, your reality is here and your illusion is somewhere over here. You keep them as far apart as you possibly can because because reality will immediately do damage to your illusion. It can't be otherwise. It's like a buzz saw.
30:36
S0
Reality doesn't care about your illusion, not even one tiny little bit. And anytime they get close, you start to get upset. And when they overlap, you have an emotion. And this is the value of those. When you have that emotion, it knocks apart a little bit of your illusion. It can't help it. And your immediate tendency at that point is to run away and build it back up again.
31:07
S0
And the withholds add up to this too.
31:12
S0
What you need to do at that point is you need to move in more closely. You need to get right there. You need to
31:20
S0
and you can have a glimpse of reality.
31:24
S0
With your son, when you wanna pull in close because you care and all this stuff, you need to stay the heck away from him. When you just wanna run away and hide, you need to move in more closely. You need to get in there because that's when he needs you,
31:41
S0
when you wanna run away. He doesn't need you when you wanna cuddle up. That's for your stuff. He wants no part of it. So anytime these two overlap, you get an emotion. And the purpose of an emotion is kind of like a storm. It comes through and it cleans up everything. It kind of the emotions take care of it. They push it through. They shove it through. And you you notice how you get a release often there if you have a really extreme emotion and then it passes through and it's done, you go, that's closer to calibrating to zero than you normally live.
32:23
S0
That's much closer to calibrating to zero. The emotions are your best friends, but if you don't pay attention, you won't get the glimpse of reality and that's the prize in the whole thing.
32:36
S0
Oh, it hurts. Yeah. It hurts. It hurts.
32:43
S0
Which brings me directly to the unit of measure of quality of relationship.
32:50
S0
It's heartbreaks per minute.
32:54
S0
The more heartbreaks per minute, the better the quality of your relationship.
33:00
S0
Within an illusion, what you have to do is you have to try not to have your heart break. Or have it break once so that you really learn your lesson so that you don't ever put yourself in a position to have it break again.
33:14
S0
No. It's heartbreaks per minute. How many times can she break your heart in a minute?
33:20
S0
In other words, how many times really can you have your heart broken in a minute? The more times, the better the relationship. Make sense? It's exactly what you run away from in illusion. When your heart breaks, your illusion is coming up.
33:42
S0
Relationship is when your illusion overlaps with their illusion. Theirs and yours. And there's the area of relatedness.
33:57
S0
And when that happens, it damages your illusion, and it's their illusion that damaged your illusion, And that breaks your heart.
34:09
S0
And that's what you try and avoid. And that's what you need to enhance. You need to get your heart broken over and over and over and over again, and that opens you up.
34:26
S0
But you can't do it if you don't know the difference between feelings and emotions. You can't.
34:34
S0
You gotta know the difference because you've gotta tease out that part that you called something.
34:43
S0
Your body is reality compared to your thoughts.
34:51
S0
You get it? Mhmm. I mean, it's so much closer to reality that we may as well call it reality. I go like this and she really does feel it.
35:03
S0
But I say you stink, and that's a different thing up here. And if you start to treat them as the same, the body disappears, and there's it's not worth living.
35:16
S0
And because you really aren't living anymore. You've lost your antenna. You can't pick up a signal. All you can pick up is blurred weird stuff. You have to distinguish between feeling and emotion.
35:31
S0
And nobody else is gonna tell you this, I don't think. I've not heard anyone else saying this. You have to say, I feel this when you have a sensation in your body and just be describing something that you can feel.
35:48
S0
What if you did just that? Over and over again in this course, we're gonna touch on little tiny things that if you took one or two or three of these and practice them for a year, your life would shift all over the place. You can't take all of them. But we're sending all of them on tape with you. You can re listen to them and get little tiny things to practice. If you try and practice everything within a week, you won't be practicing anything.
36:15
S0
I promise. I've been at this too long
36:19
S0
or just the right length or nowhere near long enough.
36:26
S0
What if you just practiced the distinction of feeling versus emotion?
36:33
S0
And you walk in the house and there's your wife and you say, oh my goodness, I have this tightness in here as she starts to speak. I have the tightness and it coincides with her starting to speak. Did her starting to speak cause the tightness? I don't know. I had a tightness and she start when she started to speak.
36:55
S0
You'd notice it a few more times, then you decide to play a little bit. You walk into the house, she starts to speak, you go, and
37:06
S0
you give her a huge kiss on the lips. And you notice if you get the tightness or if maybe some other different sensations show up.
37:16
S0
You try walking in with earplugs on. You try I mean, how many millions of different alternatives? You try coming in a different door.
37:27
S0
You try coming in singing.
37:30
S0
You try I mean, any number of things. How many millions could you come up with of things to try and find out what happens physical sensation wise in the ear? What we call this is stimulus responsibility,
37:47
S0
meaning able to generate the responses.
37:51
S0
All different responses. You gotta get a new wife if you can't generate the responses.
38:00
S0
And getting a new wife doesn't work either because soon that one's got some pattern thing that you have to respond to in the same way and
38:09
S0
yuck. Doesn't work. So after lunch we're going to do some exercises with emotions and some exercises with feelings. Then we're going to get into stimulus response and playing with those.
38:24
S0
Open some new terrain for you to play in this afternoon. How many of you brought your lunch?
38:31
S0
Okay. Grab your lunches, please, and then come right back here. Don't eat them.
38:39
S5
Refer to the eating exercise in your booklet.
38:44
S0
Okay. Got your lunches. Yep. Is
38:49
S0
that all
38:50
S3
cookies? I'm right here.
38:53
S0
Do you think you have enough cookies? Well, I'm sharing. Ah, and you're not sharing anymore.
39:02
S0
Is that right? Okay. Got it?
39:05
S0
Got your lunch? Now look around the room and see the person who you most would like to eat their lunch.
39:19
S0
Well, not based on your lunch, hon. Oh,
39:28
S0
you have your own little stuff about this?
39:30
S3
Well Of course.
39:33
S0
I'd be willing to bet you that over half of the people do vegetarian stuff in this room. Okay. It's not that uncommon nowadays. Okay. How many of you have vegetarian stuff? Raise your hand. Look around. Oh, I do. You you see you're just not that unique, honey. I know. I I just have I know you're bad, but it's just not working yet.
39:55
S3
Want to charge something to eat.
39:58
S0
So you're looking out for your own worst interest? Okay. Good. Okay. So now trade lunches with somebody, please.
40:07
S0
You guys, don't look at their lunch. Look at who they are.
40:16
S0
Hold it. Hold it. Find
40:21
S0
somebody who you wanna be more like.
40:26
S0
Why would you do it any other way? You just fulfilled the assignment to trade lunches like a good girl. Could you have gotten more out of this exercise? Yes. Who in this room do you wanna be more like? Don't forget you are what you eat. Who in this room do you wanna be more like? Look around.
40:49
S3
Hey. What do you have for lunch?
40:55
S0
That's what you wanna know, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. You wanna look around and figure out who's the most kinesthetic for you because you'd and you better look around and you better figure it out.
41:07
S0
You get it? Mhmm. Now you pick somebody who you thought would trade with you.
41:11
S2
No. She asked me if she could have my lunch.
41:13
S0
Okay. Here they go.
41:14
S3
I like
41:15
S0
her shirt. And you look at her and you say, no way.
41:22
S0
Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Where let me let me go on for a minute. Where is the breakthrough for her in when she asks to trade lunches, she just trades lunches. What if you looked at her and said, no way. Try that. Ask her ask her to trade lunches.
41:43
S3
May I have your lunch? No.
41:47
S0
Watch the repercussions still going on over here. She said the wrong thing, didn't you?
41:55
S2
Yeah.
41:58
S0
Ask again, please. And this time, say no way.
42:02
S3
Would you like to trade lunches? No way.
42:08
S0
This is saying the wrong thing to somebody who always says the right thing.
42:15
S0
What's going on here? They're gonna be holding this against each other later this afternoon. Oh, I promise you. You don't know this? They're gonna be holding she's gonna be holding this against her later this afternoon and never say anything about it. Am I wrong? Probably. You
42:37
S0
see it. Yeah.
42:40
S0
So find the person that you'd most like to trade within the room and trade with them. Go.
42:48
S3
I'd like to be like me. I like to trade. Oh, no. Gonna take me down. Off. I know. I own you.
42:56
S0
Have a seat, please.
43:01
S0
Yeah. And you tried to help her, didn't you?
43:05
S0
Relax, sweetheart.
43:08
S3
I want my lunch.
43:09
S0
Trust me.
43:12
S0
So what happens if one of her kids takes her lunch? Her lunch.
43:17
S3
She takes her The
43:19
S0
kid's in deep trouble.
43:20
S3
Yeah. Yeah. Kid gets it.
43:21
S0
The kid gets it. Not the lunch either.
43:25
S3
No. The kid gets my lunch. Yeah.
43:27
S0
The kid gets in trouble.
43:28
S3
Kid gets lunch.
43:29
S0
For an extended period of
43:31
S3
time. True.
43:31
S0
Relax.
43:33
S0
The whole purpose here is to have you explore what happens. You think this is about your lunch. It's not about your lunch. It has nothing to do with your lunch.
43:44
S3
I realize that, but I just wanna eat my lunch. I have a phobia about other people's food.
43:50
S0
I understand. Sit with it. Relax. You forgot something.
43:57
S0
What is the likelihood if it really doesn't work for you to eat somebody's lunch that I'm gonna give you that excuse to make me wrong?