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Illusion Conclusion
Jerry Stocking
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Illusion Conclusion — Core (16 Tapes)
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Tape 11 – Side B
Tape 11 – Side B
IC_T11B
44:48
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Transcript
202 utterances · click to jump
00:00
S0
Because your insecurities connect directly the stimulus response to that fundamental part of your brain in there that you share with a lizard. That goes, uh-uh, uh-uh, just instantly. And there's no humanness. And there's no human in there. There just isn't one. The idea is if you get your mind a little less focused on illusion or at least perceiving that it is illusion, it can start to make stuff up. That's fun. That's delightful. It can say, wait a minute. Maybe I don't have to grab that fly and eat it.
00:45
S0
I'll give you rough ratios if I can find them.
00:53
S0
A conservative,
00:56
S0
tremendously immature is a one to one ratio. You need back one if you're gonna put out one, and you're constantly monitoring whether you're getting it back or not. Am I did he? Well, I I can't call her up and ask her out because I called her once already and now I'm gonna wait for some indication from her that she it works on a big scale, it works on a small scale. It works on that you're sitting there at dinner and they have to smile back at you. And that's one you just got back. It works on a big scale like you gave them a diamond ring. Now, what are they going to give back?
01:39
S0
It works on that's all dependent upon the size chunk that you attend to, the size chunk that fits in your seven plus or minus two. Two to one makes you a leader.
01:53
S1
Woah.
01:55
S0
Doesn't it? It makes you a 100% more output than intake as far as what you need. That's a fairly small shift in the ratio, but an awfully big benefit for the shift. But if you're with someone and you put out two for everyone that they put out, you're leaving.
02:22
S0
Because as far as the samples go, you've got twice as many as they do. If you had twice as many dollars as they do, who's paying for dinner?
02:35
S0
Them is an occasional thing that may happen, you on a regular basis.
02:41
S0
So what we're talking about here is whether your attention, what you need in the way of attention in for attention out. So two to one makes you a leader. I can put it over there and not get anything back, then I put it over there again, she gives something back, we're fine, we're even, and you're keeping score.
03:03
S0
10 to one, overpowering. Think of you meet somebody who's 10 to one. They only need one little indication back from you, and they'll put out 10 more feelers. This is the octopus theory of relationship.
03:21
S0
They get one little something and they put out 10 more and you go, woah. I think we're moving a little fast there. And they take that as another one.
03:32
S0
And then they put out 10 more.
03:35
S0
You guys have met people like this. Right? At a certain point, they appear to be oblivious. You say, get the heck out of my life. That counts as the next one. Now they've got 10 more that they can do for you.
03:56
S0
100 to one, dick, spiritual.
04:05
S0
Try having a relationship with God on a one to one basis.
04:12
S0
No. I prayed for this. Until you give me what I prayed for, I'm not gonna pray again. I'm waiting.
04:22
S0
I prayed once, come through with it. An immature relationship with God or what?
04:31
S0
These are the way you find out where you stand.
04:37
S0
Thousand to one is mature.
04:44
S0
All of a sudden you don't need anything back. All of a sudden you exit the stimulus response because you saw how you watched yourself in the exercise where a stimulus would happen and you would sort through responses. Imagine going out to a thousand.
05:05
S0
Pretty soon you're going to have to decide that whatever you do is an independent event, aren't you?
05:12
S0
You aren't going to get out over a 100 probably, but a 100 gives you spiritual. If you get out to a 100 possible offered responses and you haven't taken any of them, you're now connected with God clearly in your own mind.
05:31
S0
10 has you dominate somebody. Two has you lead somebody. If you can take the second response rather than the first while attending to it, you've just given twice per one. It's what ratio do you demand in order to say that there's a relationship there. A million to one is sufficient.
06:05
S0
In other words, you can't be lacking anything at that point.
06:11
S0
At a thousand to one you can still be lacking something, but be mature about it and take care of it. By a million to one,
06:22
S0
you're satisfied and you bring satisfaction rather than trying to extract it. And have you noticed that you try and extract satisfaction from things? And you try and do things so that you can shape the whole game so that you can extract satisfaction from it?
06:41
S0
It doesn't work very well.
06:44
S0
I mean, because who has enough satisfaction to spread around?
06:52
S0
You find somebody who seems to have a bunch of satisfaction so you hang around them thinking you're going to get some, but then their reciprocity ratio throws the whole game off because they keep giving satisfaction only not getting any back.
07:07
S0
And at a certain point, unless they're way down the scale here, infinite to one is creation.
07:18
S0
So Maya recalls you say, we got a game.
07:24
S0
Blah blah blah blah. I bet she didn't say blah blah blah blah.
07:31
S0
But I bet she really did.
07:36
S0
She said, Let's play a game. And Patrick said, Uh-oh.
07:43
S0
How many times do you reach out before you say, that's it. I gotta take care of home.
07:53
S0
Now Judy reaches out more times than is healthy for her. You notice that?
07:59
S2
I am sorry to see that.
08:00
S0
Yeah. She consistently reaches out more times than is healthy for her, and she ends up with a deficit over here. That deficit is then filled with what deficits are always filled with which is insecurity. Deficits don't get filled with security. That's not the name of the game.
08:28
S0
Any questions?
08:33
S3
Okay. You're saying that that she gives out more than than she she gives out more than is healthy for her. Yes. Something like that.
08:41
S3
But if you're supposed to
08:43
S0
She's defined herself as that.
08:48
S0
In other words, she's acting more mature than she is. This allows her to roll over her upsets like they don't exist.
08:57
S0
It allows somebody to whack her in the head and she says, it didn't hurt.
09:03
S0
It didn't hurt. And then they whack her again and then she goes, that didn't hurt either. So then what happens is you deny your stimulus response existence and it goes on underneath you pretending like it isn't going on.
09:23
S0
You need to honest to goodness not need the the comeback.
09:31
S0
But she does need it, but pretends she doesn't. So she's wrestling out of her weight class, pretending that they're the same weight.
09:43
S0
That's the difference. If you really don't need it, then it plays out beautifully.
09:52
S0
One to one is going to end up with a relationship that breaks apart very easily,
10:02
S0
very easily. They didn't do something that they said they would do, that's that. Or they did something that no one should do, that's that. Any of you ever get out of a relationship that way?
10:15
S0
It's easy, isn't it? You should have done that! Well, where's the room for conversation there? It's done. It's over.
10:27
S0
Do you get it? The difference is between legitimate and not legitimate. I needed it. I needed it. I didn't get it. I needed it. I didn't get it. I needed it. I needed I needed it. I didn't get it. Then we get into one of the VIPs which is what does it take to flip the switch? The switch being frequency, intensity, duration, or tempo, for those of you who have paid attention to this stuff. What does it take to flip the switch? What does it take to turn you off? What does it take to turn you on?
11:05
S0
So we're under that with reciprocity ratios. We're down to where is the attention. Where is the attention right now is what we're down to.
11:16
S0
Is your attention is the balance somewhere around 50% of attention on yourself and attention on them as you pull out of the stimulus response world, you won't need fiftyfifty.
11:32
S0
You'll be able to shift drastically and give much more than you get. But by giving, I don't mean like you fix a sandwich for them. I mean, you include something in your 12 year old's repertoire that is would have been absolutely unacceptable to you prior to this and you include it so that he gets to monitor himself rather than you monitoring him.
12:01
S0
It gets too convoluted to think about
12:07
S0
and that's when things get legitimate, is when it's too convoluted to think about.
12:14
S0
That's what we attempt to provide for you in this course, even just this morning.
12:21
S1
Yeah, Patrick.
12:24
S0
By the way, if you make yourself wrong for however you handled the call, guarantees you'll do it again. K. It absolutely guarantees. There's nothing like guilt to spawn repetition. But I'm I'm sorry I did it. Oh, great. Then it's coming around again.
12:46
S1
You're explaining all this with incredible clarity, but somehow a lot of it's going by me.
12:53
S0
Raise your hand if you're in the boat with Patrick. Raise your hand if you didn't raise your hand because you are in the boat with Patrick, but you don't know it. Thanks. And then Mark, raise your hand. Thanks.
13:10
S0
It turns out that very, very, very little movement is necessary from a corpse to get your attention.
13:19
S2
Yes.
13:23
S0
The most amazing thing to me about the autopsy I went and saw in Houston was that this guy didn't move.
13:32
S0
He just lay there. He didn't move at all. You're used to seeing people move, aren't you? He didn't move. We had to move him if we wanted him to move. I used to date a woman like that.
13:51
S0
We finally came around to the idea of me that if she wasn't moving, then she was satisfied.
14:01
S0
It worked really well. She was satisfied almost all the time.
14:08
S0
We watched a little bit of a movie a day or two ago, lousy movie, but they go into this apartment, this is a European thing and it's the Frenchman and an American and here's this cat on the floor and the American says, What's wrong with the cat? I think it's dead. The Frenchman says, No, it's not dead, it's just been lying there in the same spot for a long time.
14:35
S0
The guy kind of pushes it a little bit. He says, it's dead. The guy says, oh, okay. And the cat's still there. It's a cheap pet. Yeah.
14:55
S0
I have to lead this without getting anything back from you guys. Do you know this?
15:02
S0
And then if you ever give anything back, I go, oh,
15:07
S0
and then I have to ponder if I want it. When
15:09
S1
you say give, it's I think it's a little different than what I think of as when I give in my life.
15:17
S0
I think it's completely different.
15:19
S1
Yeah, I think it's completely different.
15:21
S0
I think that you think that when you give something you lose something, that it costs you something. Yeah. That's not the giving I'm talking about. I'm talking about a shift of attention.
15:33
S1
I think that shift would be good for me to embody.
15:37
S0
I think it probably would. And the difference we're talking about here is when he gives something, he gives something so big that he can't tell what he's giving. I'm talking about attention here and attention there and attention here and attention there and attention here and attention there. That's all you have to give is attention. And yet you think you could give a pencil or give some a hand or give support. So you're constantly in over your head in something that you don't even know what it is. You keep losing stuff because you don't know what you're giving because you're giving something so big. All they want is attention.
16:28
S0
Emily would play by the hour when she was a kid and I would lie on her bed phasing in and out of meditation and do nothing other than attend to her anytime she needed it. That doesn't mean I touched the blocks, that doesn't mean I talked to her about the blocks, it means I provided so much attention that her environment was always rich with attention. For the first four years of her life, we didn't say the word no to her. Never
17:01
S0
said the word no to her. Consequently, she never did anything we needed to say no to.
17:08
S0
And she hurt herself once in the first four years of her life. We gave attention, but we didn't give attention dependent on how they behaved. We gave attention independent of how they behaved
17:26
S0
so that they always got attention.
17:30
S0
How you turned into a stimulus response beast is that your parents gave you attention if they either liked what you were doing or didn't.
17:42
S0
Those are the only times that they gave you attention. Those define the poles of your life.
17:49
S0
Right there. What if you got attention all the time independent of your behaviors? You wouldn't have to behave to get attention. You could behave anyway at all. But now what you do is you grow up a little bit and you get into a relationship and then you still attempt to play the stimulus response. I'll do this if you give me a little bit of attention. You act up if you think you're not getting enough attention, don't you? Think of yourself in a relationship. You you're out with your boyfriend or girlfriend, somebody attractive walks by, if you're in trouble with your relationship, you look at them making certain that the person you're with notices that you're looking at them. So that later on they can give you attention by complaining about you having done that. It's all a setup.
18:45
S0
And it's all stimulus response. You give things that you haven't got. If you give anything illusionary, you're giving something that you really don't have because illusion doesn't exist. If you give these big pieces that you give because you give of yourself and you lose in the process. And then you blame the other person that you gave to.
19:14
S0
Always you blame the other person that you gave to. So you're giving them illusion,
19:22
S0
which doesn't satisfy them because it's not like they don't have enough already. If there's one thing that we're not short on, it's illusion. Yeah. Go ahead.
19:32
S1
No. That's I was just gonna say that's that's it. That's that's the story of my life.
19:37
S0
And you lose. Yeah. And you lose. And you lose again. And you lose again. And then you make sure to be careful who you surround yourself with because you gotta try and find people not to give to and pretty soon you're just
19:53
S0
and there you are. And all the attention is on you and you hate yourself.
19:59
S0
Because the only time you really get a vacation is when you put it out there on the nuts. Off the nut, on the nuts.
20:12
S0
And if you've got that in your head, you've got it in a nutshell. You've been giving things you don't have well meaning, Absolutely well meaning. It doesn't matter how well meaning it is if you're giving them something you don't have. Here.
20:34
S0
Here. You've been giving what you don't have.
20:40
S0
What if you could give what you do have?
20:44
S0
You've been trying to give your 12 year old what you don't have. You want him to be happy. Right?
20:52
S0
Don't you? Yes. She doesn't have it, but she wants to give it.
20:58
S0
Like him to be satisfied? Like him to love what he does? Like him to have all these things you do you don't have?
21:06
S0
It's a tough game giving him what you don't have. Among other things because you're not a model for it.
21:16
S0
If you give him what you do have, you're a model for it and then you don't have to give anything. Your very existence there becomes the contribution. That's how effortless everything can be, you guys. You don't have to run around to do it. You wear yourself out running around to try and give what you don't have.
21:41
S0
That's tough.
21:44
S0
And it comes down very simply to
21:48
S0
wave this guy over for dinner when we lived up in up north. He was the
21:55
S0
he was in the teach teachers in our school district, Gardner's model of multiple intelligences or whatever they call it. What that means is stuff ripped off of NLP. Not accurately ripped off necessarily, but ripped off anyway, a little piece of it. But he had read some of my books. So when he's coming through town to do this, he calls us up and says, you know, can we get together? We invited him over to dinner. He comes over to our house, I've never met him before, with the head
22:29
S0
of the department of instruction for the school district. So we got these two guys there. We, of course, homeschool our kids. And when you're homeschooling your kids, at least for a while, you got to wonder when they're going to show up and arrest you. They aren't going to, but you have to wonder when they're going to.
22:47
S0
Yeah. I mean, get it? I mean, because you did it. Right? Don't you wonder? And don't you notice that there's something different in the air on Monday when the kids are going to school than on Sunday when they're not. There is. There's something there's a constriction in the air.
23:07
S0
So they come over to dinner, and we're sitting there and playing as usual.
23:13
S0
And they don't know what to make of this, but the one guy is having a good old time, the consultant. So now I'm presented, Emily and I went to this guy's presentation tonight and met the superintendent of schools and I am presented as the consultant to the expert. It's like that situation that you always wanted to happen. Remember Woody Allen waiting in line in the movie and they're talking about some aspect of it and who was it? There was I thought it was Norman Mailer. What whoever was the expert was in front of them in line. So they got to get the right answer. So I'm presented to the superintendent of schools as the expert to the expert.
24:01
S0
So I'm standing a little taller than usual, sitting a little taller than usual. And Emily and I watched this guy's presentation. And Emily is not I don't know if she'd ever been in a school before. But, know, all the little chairs and the little table with so much formica on and, you know, the whole image, a little bit of glue smell, I mean paste smell, gum under the table.
24:28
S0
And we watched this guy's presentation. And I go up after the presentation and he said, well, what did you think? And I said, what did you learn tonight?
24:44
S0
Silence. Didn't do this in front of other people. Silence. He has nothing to say.
24:54
S0
And he said, I'm going to have to give that some thought. And I said, 'It seems very ironic to me that you're standing in front of all these people talking to them about learning, strictly about learning, and you're not learning.'
25:14
S0
I have not heard from him since,
25:17
S0
but he didn't learn anything that night that he knows of. He was there to teach instead of to learn.
25:26
S0
What if you were there to learn? Wouldn't you want that in a teacher? And I've got a solution. This is all very simple. Here's the solution. Simple solution. How many of you are teachers? Here's the simple solution for teachers. You put everybody in the school district's name in a hat and you two hats. One with the subjects you need taught, one with the teacher. You reach in, you pull out what subject they're gonna teach and you pull out the person's name. And that's who teaches that this next year. You do that at the beginning of the summer. So they've got the summer to prepare. What would a teacher be like after thirty years in the school district having taught virtually every subject there is? Oh my gosh, would you want to be around such a person? They're a learner.
26:22
S0
And you all had teachers who learned, didn't you? Not very many, but a few. And then you had teachers who taught. You want to be a giver, but you keep giving what you don't have. And you want to be a giver, but you keep giving what you don't have.
26:41
S0
All you have to give is attention. It's much smaller than what you're giving currently and it's the only thing they want.
26:51
S0
Now your 12 year old wants attention that's not dependent upon his behaviors.
26:58
S0
But you can't help it because being stimulus brunts. If he does something, you go for it.
27:06
S0
How aggressively do you go for it when he does something good? Not very aggressively. How aggressively do you go for it if he does something really bad? Really aggressively, just more attention.
27:22
S0
So what if you gave what you have instead of what you don't have? Then the act of giving would draw your attention to that you have it.
27:37
S0
Imagine a birthday and you go up to somebody and you say, I really want to give you a very special book, but I don't have it.
27:47
S0
And they look at you and, of course, and they say, Well, it's the thought that counts.
27:54
S0
Then you go up to them on some other special occasion and you do the same thing and they say, Well, it's the thought that counts. How often do they say this?
28:06
S0
And then you call them up and you say, I'd like to get together with you, and they say, Well, it's the thought that counts.
28:16
S0
Yeah. It's not the thought that counts.
28:21
S0
Gotcha.
28:25
S2
It seems to me that have to to do this I'd have to throw control issues out the window.
28:32
S0
Oh, they can't survive with this?
28:35
S2
That's protection issues. They don't have to go.
28:39
S1
Yeah.
28:42
S0
Because you'd have to give when you most want to you'd have to put out when you most want to pull in and you'd have to pull in when you most want to go out. That's a fundamental breaking up of the stimulus response system
28:57
S0
and you have to be able to do that.
29:01
S0
And to do that, you have to be secure. But if you work on security, let's say by accumulating stuff, which people do, how much do you need? I just want you to get the irony of illusion. The more you accumulate in an attempt to be secure, the more you have to defend and maintain what you've commit what you've accumulated. So what you've done in an attempt to be secure has made you less secure. Then you have to build big walls.
29:33
S0
So what you've done to try and be secure makes you less secure. How many of you have gotten married to try and be secure? It dawned on you, didn't it, that it's less secure?
29:47
S0
A lot less secure. No, you can't be in control. Control is maintaining the stimulus response which has you be always out of control
30:01
S0
Because what's outside is always dictating what happens. It's a direct link between stimulus and response without you in the way. That's no control.
30:14
S0
The only possible way to be in control is to give it up. It's the only chance you've got, then you start to have fun. I went out in an aluminum canoe in Northern Michigan, think it was April, and it was fast water. And the most intelligent thing we did that day was left my friend's camera and the binoculars on shore.
30:46
S0
So we're excited and delighted and, you know, she's from Florida so she's really thrilled with the temperature of this water. And here we are and we hop into this aluminum canoe. I didn't know you don't do rocky things in an aluminum canoe. Did you guys know that? You never do. It's insane because what happens in an aluminum canoe is what happened to us. We made it down maybe, oh, I don't know, 25 yards and we hit a rock and instead of what rubberish kind of ones do, I don't mean like they have to be really rubber, but they could be solid fiberglass, something they kind of hit it and bounce off, the aluminum rides right up on it and stays there.
31:36
S0
And it stays there for a certain amount of time. It stays there for the length of time it takes for the canoe to turn sideways and then roll until the water fills it up. And what started is about a a 45 pound canoe becomes about three and a half tons.
32:00
S0
Eight plus pounds per gallon, this thing is now full. And we weren't still in it.
32:12
S0
We, at some point, exercised our ability to choose freely.
32:18
S0
You know that one you guys love so much? So we got out
32:23
S0
briskly. And I quickly, in my attempt to be as macho as I could be, got on the downriver side of the canoe and attempted to brace it.
32:42
S0
Did you ever have one of those days where you thought you could do anything and then you tried to do something? This was one of those. You can't brace a three and a half ton canoe in a raging river, but you can try and let me tell you what happens when you try, it hurts.
33:01
S0
I braced myself against the bottom, rocks on the bottom And so I'm hitting the rocks on the bottom instead of and it finally dawned on me after a number of bruises and some meowing that the best way to do it was to pull my feet up and just consider a new way of riding in a canoe, which is kind of riding under a canoe. So we floated down until we could get it out.
33:34
S0
Met some nice people who lived up on the shore there and realized that we had done a very intelligent thing. We had managed to get the canoe out.
33:46
S0
What generally happens in a case like that? Any idea?
33:50
S2
You're using stable there.
33:52
S0
As soon as we're out of it, it gets free to get out of, to get off of the rock. Then it floats down generally sideways because that's because it yes, precisely. One side gets caught on one rock, one side on another rock and the canoe folds.
34:11
S0
It just folds and it doesn't fold back.
34:16
S0
I mean, you ever had a sprung aluminum door? That's what it's like. It's about done. I'm not sure what use you could put that to at that point, but they said they had watched aluminum canoes come down and fold right in front of their house there on this river. Just that's that.
34:39
S0
Control never gets better than that, Judy. It
34:45
S0
never ever gets better than that. So, yes, in order to put your attention out when you most wanna put it in and to put it in when you most wanna put it out, you have to give up control.
35:02
S0
You can't not.
35:05
S0
But the tendency we're we're still in the Myra thing, remember? When Myra called is to listen to her content.
35:14
S0
Ignore the fact that she's calling. That would be evidence, wouldn't it? Well, could there be any better evidence? What I'm telling you is the evidence for your being in control is your continued existence and when it's gone, you won't have anything to worry about
35:36
S0
because you won't exist anymore. Your existence is your control and it works. Here you are. Now, here you are with one basic thing you can do
35:52
S0
which is use attention, which is a focus of consciousness. That's all you have to play with. That's the that's the medium that we have to play with as human beings. That's it. How much of your attention you're going to put? When? How? By what criteria you're going to determine whether you put it there or not?
36:17
S0
Attention meaning the sum total of the seven plus or minus two bits.
36:24
S0
The more consistent are the bits in your seven plus or minus two, the worse your life is.
36:33
S0
When things start showing up in your seven plus or minus two that don't belong there, that aren't compatible with that with what else is there, you become entertained. And if you call that entertainment upset and lack of control, you try and very quickly fix the condition of being entertained by getting consistent again.
36:57
S0
Your 12 year old's the boss, you're not the boss. You already went through that stage and you're still trying to be the boss. Not going to happen, Primarily because your 12 year old is probably for sure six year old is the other one? Your six year old for sure is more flexible than you.
37:18
S0
So your six year old is absolutely in control at all points in time.
37:25
S0
12 year old has already lost some of the control, I mean, lost some of the flexibility. Flexibility meaning that things that you never would expect to get in this effort plus or minus do get in. Patrick received a threatening phone call and responded with a response.
37:43
S0
Threatening because it invited him to step out and throw off his reciprocity ratio and give, it's my day off. Whatever. I don't I don't reach out that much more. I can give you something that doesn't exist, but I'm not gonna give you what really does.
38:08
S0
No, I don't want to talk about you going, Myra, let's just have a chat. I'll meet you in the coffee shop. We'll sit and have a little chat.
38:17
S0
Well, now you're just a later for half an hour.
38:21
S0
You could offer her sex, delay her for another five minutes.
38:28
S0
So let's play with a little bit of attention, Pair up.
38:34
S0
We aren't done with language, but we're going to fiddle around the perimeter a little bit before we dive into what will take us naturally to maturity, which is assertions and declarations.
38:50
S0
So, I mind reading a little bit here but I suspect that some of you are kind of interested in having free choice. I'm gonna give it to you. It's my choice whether you get free choice here. I'm gonna give it to you. Pick an A and a B, please. Please refer to the free choice exercise in your booklet.
39:11
S0
A's, I want you to tell B's a story.
39:16
S0
Something important that they really ought to know.
39:21
S0
And A's, for every single word you use, I want you to have two alternatives and then pick one of the two.
39:33
S0
Give us a demonstration, Carol. You understand the exercise?
39:38
S0
Yeah. What was the alternative to you? No. Okay. We ran. What was the alternative to ran?
39:49
S1
Walk.
39:50
S0
Okay. And no fair making up the alternatives afterwards?
39:56
S0
You have to have them in advance. So she have to has to have ran or walked and then go for one or the other. And then she has to have the next two. No sentences at this kind of speed yet. This is gonna be awkward to start. So I need you in your seven plus or minus two to have two that you get to prick pick freely from sitting right there. So if it starts out tremendously awkward, have it and slowly,
40:36
S0
slovenly was the alternative,
40:41
S0
and attempt to get up to picking freely between the two rather than having a preference, oh, I made up an alternative but I'm going to stay on the main line.
40:53
S0
Many years ago, I took my brother's dog for a walk, German Shepherd, and there was a fence and I was walking with someone else who the dog had about an equal affinity for and one of us went down this fence line and one of us down the other fence line, I swear this dog would have died running between the two as we got further and further apart. This
41:21
S0
is where you live in the world of free choice with one foot on the boat and one foot on the dock And then you have to claim that you didn't fall in and then you have to claim that you're not wet and then you have to claim that you really were in charge of the situation the whole time and then you have to absolutely forget that moment when you realize that you couldn't recoup it no matter what and then you have to remember that everybody that you've ever cared about was watching
41:52
S0
because they're watching all the time. And they're watching you with one foot on the boat and one foot on the dock. Now I want you to do it obviously. Yes?
42:01
S1
Are we trying to convey a certain thought?
42:04
S0
I don't care.
42:05
S1
Okay.
42:07
S2
So when I start talking
42:10
S0
Do it right now. Okay.
42:14
S2
Patrick.
42:20
S0
Still.
42:26
S0
See how much fun free choice is? Isn't free choice great? That's it. That's the exercise. I want you to work with it for about ten minutes about seven minutes one way, seven minutes the other until you get so you can talk fairly rapidly. Or at least rapidly compared to where you started. If you how many of you ever present to groups?
42:52
S0
If you don't know what you're going to say next,
42:57
S0
they have to put their attention on you to find out. They have to. They can't not.
43:07
S0
This is a little exercise which opens that door for you.
43:12
S0
Ever had somebody who tries to fill in the rest of your sentence? Did you hit them?
43:19
S0
Did you want to hit them? We're going to make it impossible for them to fill in your stimulus response game and then you start developing the facility to use any part of your seven plus or minus two to fill it in with.
43:39
S0
We're going to make you stimulus responsibility instead of just stimulus response. The whole idea is that if you must respond to your illusion, lose the outside world. You do. You entirely lose the outside world and in the process you lose every human being on the planet. And that hurts so much that the best you can do is suffer. And then you have to redefine it as not suffering.
44:13
S0
And you do, you redefine it as not suffering. Who do you want to connect with? Everybody, because you're already connected with everybody.