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Illusion Conclusion
Jerry Stocking
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Illusion Conclusion — Core (16 Tapes)
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Tape 14 – Side B
Tape 14 – Side B
IC_T14B
45:13
64 nuggets
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Transcript
224 utterances · click to jump
00:02
S0
In the old ones, you don't have any spaces where you can open. You'd have to force the space. But in this one, you've got spaces where you can open. How are the spaces? What if your whole life was full of spaces that you didn't have to do anything in? Who else can't do it?
00:22
S0
Fast.
00:24
S1
This is the farmer that showed that sowed the corn. No. This is the farmer sowing the corn. This is the farmer sowing the corn that kept the cock that crowed in the morn that woke the priest all shaven and shorn,
00:41
S1
who married the man, all tattered and torn,
00:47
S1
who milked the cow, who kissed the maiden,
00:54
S1
all forlorn who milked the cow with crooked horn Crumpled. Crumpled horn,
01:06
S1
who milked the who milked the cow with crumpled horn, who tossed the dog, who killed the no. Who
01:22
S1
who tossed a dog, who bothered the cat that ate the rat, who
01:34
S1
ate the malt
01:40
S1
that lay in or that lay in Jack's house.
01:47
S0
That got laid in Jack's house.
01:51
S0
So what is your relationship with the spaces?
01:57
S0
Do you judge yourself in the spaces? He judges himself in the spaces. He judges how he's doing in the spaces, so he doesn't get the spaces. Over here, we had several people who didn't judge themselves in the spaces. And we had one who found time to go to Acapulco in the spaces.
02:23
S0
And he's got a certain timing because he waits till you guys think he's never gonna get it. And he's got it sitting there waiting the whole time. I knew. And then he delivers it.
02:34
S0
I can't help it. I know. Your turn.
02:40
S0
What did I say?
02:41
S2
Well, you said you were in point of number two. Yes.
02:44
S0
You were.
02:49
S2
This is the farmer sowing the corn, who kept the cock, who cried in the morn,
02:57
S2
who woke the priest all shaven and shorn, who married the man all tattered and torn,
03:04
S2
who kissed the maiden all forlorn,
03:09
S3
who milked the cow with crumpled horn, who tossed the dog, who worried the cat, who killed the rat,
03:22
S2
who ate the malt that lay in the house at Jackfield.
03:30
S0
You know what you're watching.
03:33
S0
You're watching congruity. You're watching the pictures transferring down to the conversations. Did you watch her kinesthetic? Did you notice that your attention kept going to her body? She's accessing pictures, sounds, and feelings. Pictures, sounds, and feelings. Pictures, sounds, and feelings so nothing gets stuck.
04:01
S0
If you get stuck in auditory trying to locate yourself or judge yourself or prove that you're something or other or if you get stuck in visual with one picture over and over again or if you get stuck in kinesthetic with some sort of physical sensation over again, then the other two systems can just run on their own and direct your life.
04:25
S0
What you got out of it was first of all the spaces, but second of all she's accessing all three. You watch it? Isn't it fun? Mhmm. What would happen if lots of people that you ran into accessed all three rather than just some stuck stuff that's theirs.
04:49
S0
That's congruity.
04:53
S0
That's letting it access and finding out what shows up. That's life.
05:02
S0
Life isn't the pressure cooker where you try and come out with the right answer at the right time. It's where you come out with the right answer when it's time to come out with the right answer. That's the definition of a right answer.
05:15
S0
Because I'll tell you, the right answer at the wrong time is the wrong answer.
05:23
S0
I don't want you to go out and change anything after this course, please. And I know you will, but you're gonna make a mess every time you do. I want you to go out and observe with pictures, sounds, and feelings. I want you to go out to where there's lots of stuff and bring some holes to the party.
05:48
S0
I mean, of you been at a party where they're all men?
05:53
S0
Yeah. I bet. Ick.
05:57
S0
Ick. The men's movement. Talk about boring. I mean, they gotta beat drums just to kinda keep their interest going a little bit. Now you gotta mix them. You gotta mix stuff in holes because you mix stuff in holes and you get the room for process.
06:19
S3
What?
06:25
S0
I'm just talking about the makeup of the universe is all I'm talking about here. Yeah. Okay. See that. That's it.
06:34
S0
You guys have not been having sufficient sex everywhere.
06:39
S0
Sex defined as where stuff meets holes.
06:47
S0
And you notice how different it is cranking the pressure on yourself, meaning constantly assessing in your auditory how you're doing. Don't you think those auditory judgments of how you're doing get in the way of remembering auditorily what to say?
07:04
S0
They do. What if they didn't need to? What if you could go back to your wife
07:12
S0
and act appropriately all the time without ever trying to change anything?
07:21
S0
What if you could go back and calibrate to zero?
07:26
S0
So she says, do this, would you? And you go, wow. Nobody talks to me that way.
07:35
S0
Well, I've been talking to that way to you that way for eighteen years. No. I don't think so. I think you just did.
07:46
S0
And this really doesn't make sense. Because if I met somebody on the street and they talk to me that way, I'd turn their head off the other direction,
07:55
S0
which is what I'm tempted to do here.
08:01
S0
What would happen if you could look at every event as new instead of constantly bringing in all kinds of stuff which makes it okay for less than perfect stuff to happen?
08:16
S0
Wouldn't that be weird? What if you didn't have to live constantly like everything justifies everything else? What if you could live as though everything
08:33
S0
is connected to everything else instead of justifying everything else? It's all connected.
08:44
S0
It's all connected. And one of the things you guys missed is that that's your safety net. The connections of everything is your safety net. You guys are performing with a net.
08:59
S0
The net is the connections of everything. They're there already. You don't have to do anything to make them be there. You guys think you're gonna somehow come along and make some connection with somebody or something, and then, of course, you can sever it too. Meanwhile,
09:19
S0
underlying all of this is that every single thing is connected. What if you could live your life exploring these connections rather than trying to make them?
09:34
S0
Shucks, that'd be easy. Does the farmer Oh, there's the corn, sowing the corn.
09:44
S0
Feel the soil.
09:48
S0
Who kept that stupid bird that woke me up in Jamaica when we were down there and trying to sleep, and I wasn't that well. I had a little strep throat.
10:05
S0
That wake that guy who married me the first time I got married, he was kind of a Methodist minister, but sort of a wimp,
10:15
S0
and he was clean shaven.
10:20
S0
Everything you've ever said in your life is a metaphor for this little story. It has it all. Pathos, adventure, cows, love,
10:31
S0
marriage. It's just a metaphor for that. How many of you have had the experience of getting along with some people in this room this week better than you normally do out there in the world with somebody? Look around.
10:48
S0
Everybody in this room is a metaphor for anybody out there. What if they aren't who they've pretended to be and who you've bought into that they are? What if they aren't that at all?
11:04
S0
What if they're all Carol? But what if they are? What if you didn't the only reason that they aren't these people, I mean, that who would you wanna be on a desert island with for the rest of your life?
11:24
S0
If you had to be with somebody for the rest of your life on a desert island, who would it be?
11:30
S3
Not including you.
11:33
S0
I hadn't thought of that. Now I'm worried.
11:45
S4
Please refer to the who one night, who for the whole life exercise in your booklet. Who would you be with if you could be with anybody, alive, dead for centuries, or not yet born? What goes through your head to come up with it?
12:01
S0
Who would you spend the night on a desert island with if it's one night and nobody ever finds out?
12:10
S0
Who would you be on a desert island with if it was the rest of your life and nobody ever finds out? Who?
12:23
S0
You aren't gonna tell me that you've applied some other criteria to relationship.
12:30
S0
You wouldn't tell me that, would you?
12:33
S0
If you're currently sleeping with or kissing somebody who doesn't fulfill this criteria, you have sold yourself out pretty aggressively.
12:46
S0
Get it? Haven't you? So
12:52
S0
I wanna know who for one night, who for the rest of your life, and I also wanna know who in this group
13:04
S0
for one night and for the rest of your life.
13:10
S0
Let's get personal, guys. Yeah. I
13:18
S2
would choose Brian.
13:22
S0
In the group? Yeah. In the group. Okay. When do you go back? When do you go back? Tonight. What time?
13:40
S2
What else? If
13:44
S0
you could have anybody for one night, who? Both. For both.
13:49
S0
Okay.
13:55
S0
One night, anybody. Who? Steve. Steve.
14:01
S0
If you could have anybody in the world? Any Well, you said it in the Anybody. No. Anybody. No. I'm saying anybody. I I didn't say in the room. This is the in the group.
14:15
S2
Oh, okay.
14:15
S0
One night. The anybody. Mhmm. I'm talking anybody.
14:28
S0
Who would you pick for anybody, Tom?
14:33
S0
I already know who he'd pick. Who would he pick?
14:40
S0
This in the group? No. Anybody. Anybody for? One night on a desert island.
14:50
S0
Kind of a nice desert island with food. And
14:56
S3
No. I don't know.
14:58
S0
Do you want me to tell you? Yes. Einstein.
15:11
S0
Okay.
15:21
S0
I want you to notice that you've put parameters on this.
15:26
S0
If I had one night,
15:30
S0
I would like to be with my daughter's child.
15:43
S0
Would that be fun or what?
15:50
S0
I can't believe what it does to me. I would like to be with my daughter's child. Emily is currently 12,
15:57
S0
But I didn't say they have to be alive or born yet or anything like this and my suspicion is that some of you put those parameters on. Wouldn't it be fun to be with my daughter's child?
16:10
S0
At about 12,
16:13
S0
Six would be too easy at about 12 years of age.
16:25
S0
It's a little scary, isn't it?
16:29
S0
Who would you be with if it could be anybody?
16:35
S0
If it's somebody alive and you're not with them already, shame on you.
16:44
S0
Thatis just a lack of making sales.
16:51
S0
Sales defined as Fernando Flores defined it which is being the possibility in which other peopleis possibilities show up. Meaning, just because youire there, they perceive more possibilities.
17:06
S0
The possibility of being with you where they hadnit even considered such a thing before.
17:13
S0
Who would you pick? Come up with this, please, in your groups now. I wanna know one night anybody, rest of your life anybody in the group for one night in the group forever.
17:32
S0
Those four.
17:35
S0
I want you to start looking at people.
17:39
S0
These people out here are the people that you've entered into this raft ride with on earth. The people around you are the people that you've entered into this compact with to live a life.
17:58
S0
They are.
18:01
S0
So who in the course one night, who in the course the rest of your life, who
18:09
S0
everybody comes up with four. Find out if what your criteria is for going for the four. Are you going for safety? Are you going for way out there? Are you going what are you going for? Go. What
18:27
S0
goes through your head to come up with it? Sorry. Anybody experiencing any pressure?
18:36
S0
Cut it out. Where's the pressure? What if this was entertaining and really, really fun?
18:48
S0
Don't you think? Who in this grocery store would I most wanna spend tonight with? Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think like that? Yeah. Yeah. And you pick somebody. Yeah.
18:58
S3
But the subway car.
18:59
S0
Who in who in this subway would I most like to spend my life with? Now it's time to start acting on it. Begin. No. Yeah. What the heck? At least tell them. Begin.
19:20
S0
Now dance slowly with yourself.
19:24
S0
Crying lightly with a little bit about 8% giggle.
19:41
S0
Let's at least
19:44
S0
have something real here.
20:15
S0
Here's
20:31
S0
Remember we heard the song about men the other day sung by those women? Well, here's a song summon sung about women by a man.
20:44
S0
Listen to the words.
21:24
S0
Reporter was interviewing Frank once and said, I can't help but notice that you aren't talking to your family. Frank's family was there. This was at his home. And Frank said, I resolved a year ago not to speak to anyone who I liked,
21:42
S0
which says a certain something about the reporter.
21:49
S0
There's something in NLP called anchors. What they mean is some response that comes up to a specific stimuli repeatedly.
22:02
S0
And someone asked Richard Bandler, They said, how long does an anchor last? In other words, how long will a stimulus and response stay paired in you? And he went like this.
22:17
S4
He gave them the finger
22:20
S0
and turned and walked away. He answered the question. How long would this person know what that meant? Forever. Yeah. Pretty much forever. Last chance for questions. Any questions at all on anything at all?
22:39
S0
The rest of the day will disappear fairly quickly here. Patrick. It's
22:46
S3
not a real short one.
22:49
S0
Any short questions?
22:53
S0
Yeah. K.
22:56
S3
Some time ago.
22:59
S0
I think we got a prepared one. Do you have your notes?
23:02
S3
No.
23:04
S3
Referring to this diagram and then the good and the bad scale had come earlier, and then you superimposed it on this. But when the good and bad scale was up there, you had said that people tend to be at a certain point in terms of where they are and then a certain point in terms of where they're going. Like, I was good trying to be a little bit better, and that confined my world to a certain
23:28
S3
area, and everybody had their thing.
23:32
S3
When we when we seek out relationships with other people, you speak about the fact that our patterns are looking for their patterns. In other words, our patterns choose their patterns. And
23:51
S3
sort of the first part of this question is is is
23:55
S3
if if my pattern is does my pattern have something to do with the good and a little bit better
24:01
S0
on this? That's a little tiny piece of the pattern. Okay. Very small piece of it, bigger for some than for others.
24:08
S3
Okay. When I seek out someone else's patterns, do I seek out someone else that's that's generally in a specific area of that scale
24:17
S0
Yes.
24:18
S3
Over and over?
24:19
S0
Yes. And
24:21
S3
when you okay. So then how how do we know you also speak about we we seek out a certain person. Our patterns seek out that their patterns. On one of your tapes for the, illusion conclusion about a year ago, you spoke about a woman who came to visit you in Clarksville, and she was in her forties. And she said she needed a man. And you got tired of hearing her say that day after day. And one day, you said to her, I can find you the perfect man, and you'll marry him, and you'll be happy for the rest of your life. But his patterns are not good for you. In other words, they don't promote growth in you, but they would promote some sort of happiness or pseudo happiness to the point where you would be with the person for forever. And that shut her up because you said you want me to introduce you to this person, and, obviously, she didn't want that.
25:15
S0
So She met him later.
25:17
S3
Okay. So I I I don't lose
25:19
S2
my train
25:19
S3
of thought, and I will if you talk. So one possibility is that our patterns seek out their patterns in sort of a repetitive sequence repetitive thing through our Unless your patterns change. Another possibility is that our patterns seek out someone that we would be happy with for the rest of our lives but wouldn't be good for us. Another possibility is that we can seek out a person whose patterns would be good for us in terms of growth. So there's those three possibilities. Another part of this question is can you answer that piece as to how we know, how we can become cause rather than effect in terms of seeking out people for whom that give us opportunities for growth.
26:10
S3
Taking into account the fact that you have said in your book about quitting that
26:19
S3
we need to do the relationship we're in perfectly before we move on to another relationship, or else we'll just repeat the same pattern over and over.
26:30
S0
Good question. Great question. Okay. Get into threes, please. I'm kidding. Okay. Three. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
26:44
S0
Okay.
26:47
S0
So a miniature relationship course. Okay? Mhmm. Is that okay with you guys? Yeah. It's alright. He's asking for a little mini relationship course.
26:59
S0
I will address all of his questions in this little mini relationship course.
27:08
S0
So your patterns pick their patterns.
27:16
S0
The particular woman you mentioned is a tramp for anyone whose patterns she doesn't need and she's a nun for anyone whose patterns she does need. So
27:36
S0
in the one case, she's a nun.
27:39
S0
In the other case, she's a tramp. What does that tell you about her? She wants it not to work. She wants to she is seeking evidence for that relationships don't work. Do you think she could find that? Yeah. Wouldn't this be a great way to do it? For anybody whose patterns really for even a nice guy,
28:08
S0
She's a nun. So for a nice guy, she's a nun. For a nasty guy, she's a tramp. So she gets close to the nasty guys and gets more evidence for that it doesn't work. All you have to do is look at what your patterns pick for you and you'll find out exactly what your intent is. You don't get to make up what your intent is. I mean, you can, but it won't influence what you do.
28:43
S0
You cannot possibly afford to have your patterns pick your spouse.
28:50
S0
Because if you have your patterns pick your spouse, your patterns will also pick when your spouse is no longer your spouse. They'll pick when somebody else is your spouse or when nobody's your spouse. They'll run the whole game. You can't do it. We've seen this recently with Fred. Fred finds a girlfriend or rather his patterns do. This girl needs help.
29:19
S0
Guess what Fred can do? He can help. Can't he? He can really help. Now skip the fact that this is her routine. She really doesn't want any help. She just wants somebody who tries to help her and fails.
29:33
S0
Watching this from outside, it's fairly simple to watch. He's in relationships with somebody else now who his patterns are absolutely unattracted to.
29:44
S0
His patterns have no interest in this woman and they're both growing like crazy and having a wonderful time. In the other one, they both ended up dead meat going nowhere, nothing going on. You can't afford ever to have your patterns pick your relationships, and you can't afford to have your patterns get you out of your relationships.
30:09
S0
So simple thing about relating,
30:14
S0
Bell's theorem.
30:18
S0
So you go to physics and you find a little place where relationships work. You know, in physics, work? Not between physicists,
30:28
S0
but between little tiny particles, which is a fairly easy place to start. So you take these little tiny particles and you ship them out at approximating the speed of light away from each other. Please refer to the relationship diagram after they've been close to each other. You send them out about very close to the speed of light away from each other and anything you do to this one, if you apply a tiny little electronic charge to this one, it influences this one also. Even though they're speeding apart faster than you can divorce. Faster than you can run away from home. A little tiny charge applied to this one applied applies to that one at the same instant, not at the time that it would take the information to travel across here, but at the precise same instant. What this tells us is we're already related.
31:33
S0
You can't help but be related. I mean, women in the same office menstruate at the same time. Emily works at the vet's clinic. You gotta watch out because these are all women at the vet's clinic. And there's a certain time of month that you better not bring your pet in because that's their time of the month.
31:57
S0
We're already related. In other words, it's already done. It's already finished. Now the only thing you get to figure out is where you wanna make a mess.
32:12
S0
Where you want to say this one is more important than something else because the groundwork is already laid and you're already related. The groundwork is laid.
32:27
S0
So you're already related. That's done. Now you were born this gorgeous little creature with nothing going on at all.
32:39
S0
Ideally, except for, you know, the time in the womb and all of that stuff.
32:45
S0
Let's say let's skip the time in the womb, although it's very influential, and let's skip the birth, although that's incredibly influential, and say, there you are, this tiny little critter. This tiny little critter walked into the world and this one wild beast started saying some things to it with some particular patterns. And this other wild beast started saying other things to it with some particular patterns. Please refer to the relationship diagram again. This wild beast argued for I forget which is which. That's the he. Right?
33:21
S3
Mhmm. Yeah.
33:22
S0
The this wild beast argued for his patterns. This wild beast argued for her patterns, and this little beast he said, why?
33:33
S0
And this one said, he needs to be changed and this one said, shut him up or vice versa. Meanwhile, it's not as if this one's patterns had resolved themselves yet because this one said, you change him while making a picture of herself changing him. These are diapers.
34:03
S0
So said one thing, but made a picture of another. Ever done this? Mhmm. Ever not?
34:13
S0
So meanwhile, while this one was making a picture of changing the baby and this one
34:21
S0
in other words, this one was schizophrenic. Do you think this one was schizophrenic? Yeah. Oh, you betcha. This one was making a picture of the big ball game, and I mean football.
34:38
S0
Paul is talking to himself about quiet baby syndrome.
34:53
S0
You can use that in your practice as the therapist among you, the quiet baby syndrome. You can make it up. You can now define it as anything you want.
35:02
S0
I'm looking for pre traumatic stress syndrome victims to run some tests on.
35:11
S0
That's what we're attempting to raise up in Clarksville. We have two pre traumatic stress victims.
35:19
S0
They're the only two I know of because this one has post traumatic stress. Just from spending three seconds around these two each with a bet.
35:34
S0
So
35:38
S0
one second around these two crazy beasts. And this one's so torn. This one's in the middle of World War. Oh, I don't know. August, and this one's in the middle of World War something else. And where's the relationship between these two? Well, they're fully related at the area of physics.
36:01
S0
In every other way, I mean, how often do they talk about breaking apart? They talk about breaking apart and separating anytime they get brave enough that they don't think it's close enough at hand.
36:22
S0
The rest of the time, they just think about breaking apart because why would you wanna be with them anyway?
36:32
S0
So this little critter goes, ah, ah,
36:38
S0
ah,
36:41
S0
ah, goes through all kinds of trauma and then goes, oh.
36:48
S0
This one says, just accidentally. While looking at this beautiful little crystal thing that she's just gotten given by some guy at work. She says, I love you. And this kid says, oh, this must be love. Didn't you? Mhmm. You said this must be love. It's my parents. This must be love. This must be how people who treat who love each other treat each other, and this must be how people who treat me. So you built those goofy things that we talked about yesterday. If he takes out the garbage, he loves me. If he this, he loves me. If he that, he love you built all of this crazy foolishness around this.
37:42
S0
Now then, this little thing grows up. I mean, quite a future here. Right? Messed up that thoroughly? Now if this one's really lucky, it has some horrendous event in its childhood so that it can blame everything on that. Like it gets raped when it's three or something like that because anybody later will listen to that and go, no wonder.
38:09
S0
When in fact, it has nothing to do with being raped at three. It has something to do with everything that led up to that and everything that went after that, that went into this to fill up this one's possible stimulus response thing so that this one had to come out with a response. These two then sat there and judged the response if they were paying any attention at all. And meanwhile, each of these little critters gave certain attention for certain behaviors and no attention for other behaviors, shaping this one into some weasel creation between the two of them. Now this one's ready for relationship. Meanwhile, at the same time, this whole thing was taking place over here too to someone else who's now gonna come and these two are really gonna get along well together.
39:01
S0
It's amazing that we're really the same species.
39:07
S0
You know how alike two Irish setters are? Really a lot alike. Well, we're all mutts. You know how like mutts are? Not very. You had no idea what you're gonna get. So this little one meets this little one. What are they looking for? Any environment in which they don't get beaten up too badly or killed.
39:38
S0
Primary
39:41
S0
primary reason for getting into relationship or this particular relationship. Do you have any idea what it is?
39:51
S0
It's the primary drive for people in our culture to be in relationship.
40:01
S0
It's the same as physics.
40:05
S0
It's proximity. Strictly, they happen to have gotten in proximity often enough that they go, oh, there she is.
40:17
S2
I must love you.
40:18
S0
This this is the one. I have enough pictures in my head of her. I have enough conversations in my head of her that she must be the one. Honest to goodness, this is it.
40:32
S0
You know they work in the same office, so they get married. They get really busy in the office, so they divorce the wife who's at home who they almost never see. They aren't in proximity to her and marry the secretary.
40:49
S0
Secretary decides she's gonna have some kids and stay home. You be careful how you hire the next secretary because the next secretary is gonna be the next wife. Believe it or not, it's proximity.
41:05
S0
It's whatever you happen to be around. Now what you happen to be around is dictated by your patterns. Your patterns, if graphed out fully, would look an awful lot like a gene.
41:26
S0
You know what genes are. Right? You you know what RNA and DNA. RNA and DNA, you can map out. It's like a key structure of what's where the holes are and where the stuff is.
41:44
S0
Any system that's going to work remember I talked about stuff and holes? It works at the level of RNA and DNA. It works at the level of the planets, it works at every level otherwise don't pay attention to it.
42:02
S0
So what happens is that this person has specific patterns, a whole bunch of them that they have no clue even exist.
42:14
S0
And this person has specific patterns that they have no clue even exist and this is like a really, really complicated key and lock thing. Yeah. Really complicated key and lock thing, and if it happens to fit, there they are.
42:34
S0
Certain patterns go together.
42:39
S0
We now are watching it culturally. We've we've shifted some playing with sociology versus psychology.
42:52
S0
We see need you up here, Dave. That these two
43:00
S0
go together.
43:04
S0
I present to you mister and missus Carol.
43:14
S0
These two go together in our culture. This is a totally standard relationship, these two
43:23
S0
based on their patterns. And
43:27
S0
how these two patterns fit is they make growth impossible. This is you and your wife. They make growth impossible unless you're interested in breaking out of the pattern that you're stuck in. The pattern thanks. The pattern is not really you. It's just some conglomeration of limitations and abuses that were put in early, but they aren't relevant in the moment. If you're not in the moment, they're entirely relevant. So the only way place the relationship can possibly work is in the moment. Now, if you don't know about patterns, your patterns will pick your spouse and terminate your spouse like I said, they will.
44:21
S0
And it doesn't matter how many times you say, I really want somebody to be in relationship with. I really want somebody different than the last person. I really this is all the conscious stuff that you say while the underlying patterns are picking exactly what they pick and they do.