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Illusion Conclusion
Jerry Stocking
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1:03:37
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514 utterances · click to jump
00:03
S0
Okay. Who else? What do you do? External. Cynthia says external. Let me know if you disagree with anybody's assessment, please.
00:15
S0
So this gets simple after a while.
00:20
S0
Polaris something to say? She's sitting back here practicing for the contortion artist at the circus like this.
00:31
S0
Subtle cues that somebody needs a little bit less attention.
00:37
S1
I mean, I've I've watched Cynthia before where she's interacting with people and coaching, and it's her attention is on the other person.
00:49
S1
And it it I get that she makes references about herself.
00:55
S1
And, like, last night when she was getting upset and nervous, I'm I'm really confused on internal or external
01:02
S1
because it seems like the final buck is what
01:06
S0
what she's doing?
01:08
S2
External.
01:12
S2
Internal.
01:13
S0
It's all internal. She has a right to her own confusion. Don't think because it's confusion that it's external.
01:24
S0
It's all pulling toward her. You get that you're going like this? That's a sign.
01:31
S0
It's a sign that you're near a black hole.
01:36
S0
Where is your attention going? Where does your attention go with Cynthia?
01:44
S2
Go away.
01:48
S0
See, you gotta remember what's data.
01:53
S0
What's data is that you don't get a clear we don't get a consensus on Cynthia. Mhmm. That's data. Now you're going to have to lend me a little room for exceptions. Okay? Because I haven't pulled an exception yet in the room, right? We've done over half of the group and I haven't pulled an exception. I'm pulling an exception here. Not only is another program influencing what goes on there, but Cynthia has no idea where the reference is.
02:25
S0
And how come Cynthia has no idea where the reference is? Is that we've got two circles
02:34
S0
so close together that they almost appear to overlap at points.
02:42
S0
And with those two circles, one of them is internal and one of them is external. This is a really, you know, they fit say the best defense is an offense. Well, what she did is she put together so closely, so sandwich together a defense and an offense.
03:03
S0
So this is an exception. Generally, they're far enough apart to be distinct, but when you look, I watched you do this. I watched you do it and I watched you do it and I watched you do it. You looked at her and didn't and did and didn't. She forced you to go back and forth. Now wait. While you were going back and forth, you didn't know whether it was internal or external because you were going back and forth because you would have had to have either settled on her or settled on you to know whether it was internal or external. You follow? I just moved a logical level. So that's what she does. Now this is an asset if she can do it
03:50
S0
and not be forced into it.
03:54
S0
It's a constant hiding place if she's if she has no alternative but to do that. Currently, she has no alternative but to do it, I don't think.
04:08
S0
So now she has to say, I'm finally putting my foot
04:17
S0
shucks. I can't remember. Up. No. I'm finally
04:25
S0
this time I'm really
04:28
S0
maybe sure.
04:31
S0
It's I remember an older movie, not terribly older, but the guy is nervous about the woman he's with and he wants to propose. And he starts the proposal and he says, I don't know that I don't love you.
04:53
S0
This is, like, as close as the commitment as you can get at the time. And she goes, you don't know that you don't love me?
05:04
S0
What are what where are we gonna put that? Does this sound familiar?
05:11
S3
The the part of the microphone. The
05:15
S3
example with the foot sounded very familiar. Sounds like what goes on in my head a lot.
05:21
S0
What this forces are into is massive negotiations within her own head.
05:28
S0
What if you didn't need to do those anymore?
05:34
S3
Gosh. What if?
05:35
S0
Yeah. Yeah.
05:37
S3
And sometimes
05:38
S0
You already you just got what would happen. Yes? Peace would rain.
05:41
S3
Yeah.
05:41
S0
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what?
05:47
S3
Pretty cool.
05:48
S0
Yeah. Pretty cool.
05:50
S3
And sometimes it's
05:51
S0
This not like is one out of a whole lot we're going to cover by the way. And different ones are different sizes for different people. In these three cases, we've got a big one here. What?
06:04
S3
Sometimes it's not like that. Sometimes I know where to put my
06:07
S1
foot. So
06:10
S0
Did you get it?
06:16
S0
Did you watch her waiver on that too? Absolutely.
06:19
S3
Yeah. When you say that.
06:20
S0
Sometimes I really know where to put my foot. No. I know. And we can hear it in your head.
06:29
S0
Because I won't even be sure that sometimes I don't know where to put my foot. This is another movement of a logical level. You get it? I won't even commit to that.
06:43
S0
Say,
06:47
S0
sometimes I'm absolutely certain.
06:50
S3
Sometimes I'm absolutely certain. And what's going on? No, I'm not.
07:00
S0
And it's more obvious when we give her that long a sentence and less obvious if we ever say yes or no. But you all have been a little uncomfortable with Cynthia from time to time if you've been in contact with her. That's because if you say if you ask her a question and she says yes, she's putting forth the argument for no in her head. And if she says no, she's putting forth the argument for yes in her head. She's gotta keep her options open. She's that kind of girl.
07:35
S0
You need to read the How to Win by Quitting book numerous times because it's time to close off the options. It's time to slam the door on them. This provides you a massive dose of lack of motivation. I'm not saying you aren't motivated but I'm saying you aren't motivated in relation to how motivated you could be.
08:00
S0
That's what I'm I know you're more motivated than most people are, but think of how motivated you could be if you could slam the door behind you and not have to keep looking back over your shoulder. Yeah.
08:15
S0
So that's something you're going to practice when we get into group soon for you to practice the different ones and this also tells us something to do.
08:26
S0
This tells you something else to practice in the group. Are there places this could be useful?
08:32
S0
By God, you want one of these in every group, don't you?
08:36
S4
The wobbling?
08:37
S0
Yes.
08:41
S2
The
08:43
S0
somebody who pulls them back to center and she'll pull the ones way out on one side back to center and she'll pull the ones way out on the other side back to center. Now she wounds herself desperately in the in the process, but it's worth having one around sometimes.
09:01
S0
Now you don't wanna have one around if you have like a one on one relationship.
09:06
S0
She needs to be in a group. You get it? Because if you have one one on one relationship, then you've got a. Both Cynthia's and the other person. You're be fine. It it's true, but then all responsibility goes to the other person. Yeah. That's true. Because you're always voting yes and no.
09:36
S0
So that's why he has those wrinkles and looks like he's been beat. Is he a marathon runner? Should be because he looks like he is. He looks like he's and I'm not saying that he didn't pick this on purpose for a moment.
09:56
S0
Well, yes and no. Wanna find out what this is like? Next week, pick one day and no matter what somebody asks you, say, yeah, yes and no.
10:09
S0
Isn't it? Oh, yeah. No.
10:18
S0
We played a little game with it last night with Pilar. We were playing need to know basis. Pilar would ask something and we'd say, you don't need to know that. About anything. She she was saying that Pat had doled out jobs to her throughout the day on a need to know basis. So she had no context to put anything in. What I'm suggesting to you is there's a
10:46
S0
Where's the car? You don't need to know that.
11:00
S0
That's life with Cynthia.
11:05
S0
This is what hap this is what happens when an internally referenced person gets the idea of switching back and forth like that or really having them both at the same time.
11:19
S0
Now this can be valuable in taking things apart. It's just that you may not always wanna take them apart and at some point you have to take that apart too. And to take that apart, have to be absolutely certain with no counter examples. We call this sorting for counter examples. Whatever you say, you have counter examples in your head and you're sending those over too. So you're filling people with doubt which can be beneficial unless you're thinking that you're not, and then it's not so beneficial.
12:00
S0
I would have business cards printed if I were you a doubt specialist.
12:06
S0
So that if they need more doubt in their company, they bring you in and you teach them how to doubt. There are an awful lot of religions who could use you.
12:17
S5
All of them.
12:18
S0
Yeah. I mean, they would be the end of all the fighting. They'd be going to war maybe.
12:28
S0
You should be right there at the altar. I probably do.
12:37
S0
But I can think of some exceptions because you're kinda handsome, you say to the minister.
12:47
S0
In sickness, well, what kind of sickness are we talking?
12:55
S0
Are we talking like terminal something for a long period of time with a lot of pain or are we talking the sniffles?
13:04
S0
We're gonna have to deal. I mean,
13:08
S0
negotiation without anybody on the outside having any input because then she doesn't need you.
13:21
S0
And any input now and this is part of where you get boxed in here. Any input that you have
13:30
S0
since she's got both sides taken care of, any input that you have becomes relevant because she's balancing both sides. So she's holding the world and anything you say tickles her.
13:47
S0
Forget it. I'm holding both sides.
13:51
S0
But with some practice, you'll be able to do this and not do this. But I want you all to learn how to do this too. So that when you're sure,
14:04
S0
you can find counter examples to it.
14:08
S0
Get you a little less sure. Shakes it a little bit. Okay?
14:16
S0
Who else? What do you do?
14:19
S0
K. I think I do internal.
14:27
S0
I like to think I do internal. I I told you there were people like this.
14:36
S0
Thank you.
14:39
S0
I can tell you that a question mark has a period contained in it.
14:45
S0
I like to think I do internal.
14:49
S0
That's what I meant to say. Some of the time you like to think that.
14:55
S2
I get extra.
14:56
S0
I have
14:57
S3
a question.
14:57
S0
Well, that's the joke. Yeah. And
15:03
S0
with Joe, and this is not an exception, but it's just something that may throw you off a little bit.
15:12
S0
You've got you and you've got her, but you've also got culture.
15:20
S0
And culture is a substantial part of Joe's external. It's dictated by culture.
15:27
S4
What do you mean?
15:28
S0
Not by him.
15:31
S4
How is it?
15:32
S0
Like a group think influences him massively. All of a sudden, needs something that everybody else needs.
15:45
S0
So culture takes over from out here,
15:51
S0
there. So the dynamic isn't as simple as it's you and it's someone else with internal and external. Culture also plays along. Remember culture being the sum total of all the thoughts of people in a specific population. He's got an Italian lurking.
16:11
S0
You perceive that? Mhmm. I mean, every once in a while he just says pizza. Pizza or spaghetti or
16:21
S0
he does that. There's a little mafia in every one of them. There's a little Marlon Brando. Isn't it funny to get an Indian to do that? There's a little Marlon in every one. So
16:43
S0
when culture takes over, there's nobody home. So there's no internal reference.
16:51
S0
And it's highly appropriate that you would say, what do you mean by that?
16:56
S0
Because culture has dictated almost all of your responses to almost everything almost all the time. And I only say almost for Cynthia.
17:10
S0
So I You like that, don't you?
17:14
S3
It saves me from having to start thinking of examples of
17:17
S0
That's what I mean. That might that might be the definition of like.
17:22
S3
Of like?
17:24
S0
You liking something is if it saves you from having to torture yourself in that moment. That just might be your definition of like. Oh, it might be. Yeah.
17:37
S0
You get it. All you gotta do is qualify, and she'll let you do anything or almost anything.
17:50
S0
Watch. It just gets right in. So this shows you how to communicate
17:56
S0
with different people because if I qualify it, she just lets it in. It goes right by. Not a problem. And if I don't qualify it, she'll never let it in.
18:09
S0
Watch. Did you watch that one not go in? Mhmm. Didn't qualify it. It's kinda like polarized light. It's
18:18
S0
can't get in. It has to be this way to get in. All it has to do is be qualified.
18:24
S4
Or or justified by you for her? Is that what qual you mean by qualify?
18:29
S0
No. She's the justifier. I can't justify it. But if I qualify it, it can get in. Okay. And then what happens, though, once it gets in is anybody's guess.
18:48
S0
But that's at a deeper level than she currently perceives it. So she's just the gatekeeper. She doesn't have much to do with once it gets in there.
19:00
S0
So she limits what gets in.
19:02
S2
So that's on her that's very external or that's way out there in the rooms. That's what I get from what she's
19:10
S0
That's not what I'm saying. I don't think it's that far out there. Okay. Because I don't think these two would live together that far out there. Just a guess. And I'm on some shaky terrain there. Yeah.
19:23
S4
I've been told that I'm external, but
19:28
S4
my feeling is that when I speak, the tension is on me. So is that
19:33
S0
Is it right now?
19:36
S4
Yes.
19:38
S0
She's scared that she had to pull it back.
19:42
S0
That's a little sign for you.
19:48
S0
Your responses alone argue for external, that you have to respond and respond and respond and respond and respond. It's what's going on out here that determines it for you.
20:07
S0
By the way, none of these are right.
20:11
S0
None of the assessments we are doing are right. It's the pursuit of them and the play with them and the dance with them that is useful. I don't care about right and wrong. I mean, you may think we're labeling you here and you would be accurate.
20:32
S0
I mean,
20:35
S0
and wrong too.
20:38
S1
So with me is I'm getting that that people sorting is where I I'm getting confused on external. That from wanting to talk to other people, I get that worth it. Confused on external.
20:54
S0
How long would it take you if we asked you to come up with the most complicated way in the world to catch a mouse?
21:02
S0
Forever. Would take you forever because how could you ever be sure that you had the most complicated?
21:09
S4
You could always add something on.
21:11
S0
Always add something on. Paint something red and green as a part of it. I mean, you could you get it? You'd never be done.
21:21
S0
Pilar is planning on stirring up the water and then bitching because she can't see the bottom.
21:29
S0
You complicate things over and over and you're familiar with this, Pat?
21:39
S0
It's an attempt to make yourself important.
21:43
S0
You make things confusing so that you can be important and if you solved it, wouldn't you be the star?
21:51
S0
It's not quite accurate, but it's not that far off. It's close enough to be useful.
21:59
S0
You get why it's important that you've done the IC course before we do this course?
22:12
S0
Do you know that everything's really simple?
22:19
S0
You wanna bring in Mexican jumping beans and figure out how they're relevant to this. She's going out and grabbing other patterns which have absolutely nothing to do with this to try and make a mix that is sufficiently complicated.
22:34
S4
Isn't that making her the star in doing that?
22:36
S0
Yes. Yes.
22:37
S2
Okay. And that's what she's
22:39
S0
And it's internally referenced.
22:44
S2
I do.
22:48
S5
If she's
22:49
S0
Get get the mic if you're gonna talk, please.
22:53
S5
If she's internally referenced, why does she need to be the star?
22:57
S0
Because there needs to be nothing else.
23:01
S0
This is the way she keeps her attention on her. This is the way she maintains her internal reference.
23:14
S0
An actor might show up on the set and say, you know, what's my motivation? What's I need to you know, I I read the part but I need to know what what drives me here. I'm suggesting that that drives her into internal. The complication that she is necessary to solve
23:36
S0
drives her into internal.
23:39
S6
Okay. Alright.
23:41
S0
There just needs to be the complication.
23:44
S3
Thank you. Yeah.
23:49
S0
Who else? What do you do? Barbara?
23:56
S3
Internal
23:59
S3
with, I think, flashes of external.
24:03
S0
Hot?
24:07
S0
Yeah. Or cold? Hot.
24:12
S3
But mostly internal. K. Maybe all internal.
24:18
S0
See, we've got the the bold and blatant ones first. Now we're getting the little bit trickier ones. You got the you got tricked there a little bit?
24:25
S2
So does she do something more similar to what Cynthia does?
24:31
S0
No.
24:34
S0
It's not an on her head is not loud.
24:40
S0
It's, there is a reference and it's in here, but I don't know what it is.
24:52
S0
Watch it because you can watch it hit. Well, once you say It is an internal reference. I I don't have any doubt about that, but she doesn't know what it is.
25:06
S4
Well, it was like when she said maybe some internal. She wasn't asking for your approval.
25:09
S0
Not at all.
25:10
S4
In herself. It
25:11
S0
was all internal. Yeah. See so she's confused, but certain that she's confused.
25:18
S0
She doesn't need your permission to be confused. She's got that handled.
25:26
S0
What is the likelihood you're gonna clarify it for her?
25:34
S2
Or that it would be relevant
25:35
S0
to her. Oh, the It
25:42
S0
was put in early, covered up,
25:47
S0
and it's still in there,
25:50
S0
the reference.
25:53
S0
Was it hers initially? No. Has she made it hers? Yes. She has.
25:59
S0
You remember when a pet showed up at your door when you were a little kid and your parents told you not to feed it? Yes. Well, she fed it, and it's still around. And it's hers, but it's not hers.
26:16
S0
And she still ponders whether or not it's gonna leave someday or whether its owner's gonna show up.
26:23
S0
She's like the lost and found. So the internal reference is in there, but it's not really hers. But it's still in there, but it's not really hers. Does that influence her just a little?
26:39
S0
Yeah. Okay?
26:41
S3
So what might I do to shift it?
26:44
S0
I'm thinking twelve years of therapy could do it,
26:50
S0
But I'm thinking there's probably an easier way.
26:55
S5
Prefer that.
26:58
S0
How many people have you hit in your life
26:59
S3
hard? Physically hit or
27:03
S0
Yeah. Like decked. Like clobbered. None. That needs to get at least up to your age. How old are you?
27:16
S3
46.
27:17
S0
So it needs to get to at least 46.
27:21
S3
Physically hitting somebody?
27:22
S0
Yeah.
27:32
S0
And
27:38
S0
if they're bigger than you, hit them with something.
27:43
S0
Like a pipe. No. Just
27:50
S5
because you're taking them back.
27:56
S0
Watch out. Watch out because you're all being caught by a distraction here. Look at what that does there.
28:08
S0
She would have to make the internal reference her own.
28:14
S0
Hitting somebody is a commitment.
28:18
S0
Like insulting somebody? It's a commitment. So I'm saying,
28:26
S0
nail it down, that internal, and make really have it be the case. Because once you've hit them, you can't take it back. You know that? So I just pulled out one that is a definite and she goes, could you find some other way?
28:47
S0
Because I wanna find some way to take care of this that isn't so definite.
28:53
S0
And definiteness is what she lacks.
28:57
S0
You follow? So
29:01
S0
you come up with other ways cause I'm not really an advocate of people hitting people.
29:08
S0
But that worked.
29:09
S3
Yeah. I'm not an advocate either and I think that's why I didn't like that.
29:15
S0
So it made her definite that she didn't want to hit them. Mhmm. You follow? So it went to some place that was immutable in there. I will not hit them. I can consider hitting them and I can see pictures of hitting them and I'm not doing it.
29:35
S0
At that point, her internal reference became her own.
29:39
S3
It's like saying no.
29:41
S0
It's like saying no.
29:48
S2
That was one hit for forty six National News 45.
29:51
S0
Yes. And
29:54
S0
yet there was a prize with it, wasn't there?
30:04
S0
The nature of internal reference is that
30:13
S0
something has to stop.
30:17
S0
You get it? It can't be in here and then keep coming out here. It has to stop somewhere or she's lost the reference.
30:30
S0
This would stop it. This would show her where her influence ends. Currently, she thinks her influence keeps going.
30:40
S0
She thinks she's the center of the universe.
30:46
S0
And she's done that by not being clear about her internal reference so she thinks it's everywhere out here too. Now this is a fairly powerful thing to do
30:59
S0
but again it's not a powerful thing to have to do.
31:05
S0
If you're forced into it, it doesn't work And she's currently forced into it. Here's another one that you've gotta learn to do as an alternative. Beautiful alternative just indicating here. You get how that could be useful sometimes? I don't know, but I'm sure.
31:30
S0
How are gonna argue with that sucker? This
31:37
S0
is like Mike Tyson falls over and she never hit him. She just walked in the ring and he went
31:43
S2
yeah.
31:47
S5
And talking way back at
31:49
S0
the beginning of the song. Be the only one we get to.
31:56
S5
Look and look again.
31:58
S3
I'm over it.
31:59
S0
I know. Thank you. It wasn't necessarily just for you. Although it seemed to you that it was.
32:07
S5
Well, that's why I wondered Isn't everyone doesn't everyone think they're the center of users?
32:13
S0
No. As a matter of fact, some people think they're so eccentric when in fact they're very close to to the middle.
32:21
S5
Okay. Thank you. But that
32:24
S0
Thinking you're the center of the universe is like thinking you're always in Akron.
32:38
S5
When you're talking about energy and how energy flows in this, isn't isn't energy truly always flowing both ways?
32:46
S0
No. It never moves.
32:51
S0
We just invent these little things so we can think that it moves. It never moves.
32:55
S5
Okay. I'll accept that it doesn't move for the conversation. You know, I don't believe it, but I'll accept for the conversation that it doesn't move. But in the analogy that energy is moving Yes.
33:05
S2
From one to
33:05
S5
the other, isn't in the analogy energy always moving in both directions?
33:09
S0
Yes. And the question is where is your attention?
33:11
S5
Okay. That's that's all I'm trying to clarify.
33:14
S0
That's it. Because it's always moving in both directions if we're gonna pretend that it's moving. I have no problem with that. Where is your attention? So that's why you gotta be able to do both. This is a digital program. You've got to be able to do both. Okay. Yeah. Who else? Who hasn't told us what they do?
33:36
S1
I'm external. Okay.
33:38
S2
I was sure I was external and now I think I'm internal.
33:43
S0
What had you changed your mind?
33:46
S2
Where the energy stops with me. K.
33:54
S0
Anybody confused?
33:56
S2
Yes. Because she's looking to you
33:57
S0
for something. That's data. I don't think she's looking to me for something. I think that's part of your confusion. Is that if you said that, you would think that she was looking to me for something. But she's not looking to me for something.
34:17
S0
They're confused, so it's your job.
34:21
S2
I don't get that what Cynthia does, but I also keep getting that I'm going farther away when she looks at me. Like, I can't even look at her. It's kind of I'm left with going somewhere else.
34:35
S2
Do you mean Parker? Yes. Okay.
34:39
S0
We have
34:40
S2
That's a different program.
34:42
S0
This is quite an irrelevant rock in her stream.
34:46
S2
Yeah.
34:47
S0
And what is what has made it irrelevant is another program which is right next to it, which is so big that this is a pebble.
35:00
S0
And so it influences so little that it's not relevant. And my suspicion is that it's internal but being irrelevant, so what? Remember, some of these are huge for people. Some of them are small for people. This one is a very, very small one for her.
35:17
S4
What is her big rock?
35:19
S0
We'll get to it. Oh. And when we do, we'll point it out.
35:26
S0
Okay?
35:30
S0
You just got that it was internal?
35:32
S2
Yes.
35:33
S0
Okay. And it's tiny. Now in the group when you're practicing, you need to make this one bigger.
35:42
S0
So this is a couple parameters. You need to be able to do either one but you also need to be able to make it huge and make it tiny. You follow?
35:53
S5
If we can shift our attention to a to a smaller rock and make it large, does that help diminish the the significance of the big rocks?
36:04
S0
Absolutely. Influences everything. It changes the whole
36:10
S2
Almost there.
36:11
S0
Perspective. There's the moon next to the horizon, and it looks gigantic. When it's overhead, it looks small. It's the surroundings. It's all relative.
36:22
S5
Yeah. I've been playing the wrong game. I've been playing another game.
36:26
S0
Okay. But this gives you a different parameter to vary it by. Yeah. It's not an that turns it it allows you to turn the digital into analog because analog is how big it is. So it allows you to play it either way, which is kind of a nice thing to do.
36:52
S0
Okay. Groups of three groups of six, please.
36:58
S0
You guys? So
37:05
S0
first, I want you to run vicious what you do. What does he do, by the way?
37:13
S0
All internal. Isn't it?
37:20
S0
He's the sun for 11 universes.
37:27
S0
He even has two names.
37:31
S0
And still isn't confused about who he isn't.
37:39
S0
Did you wonder?
37:42
S6
No wonder about what?
37:46
S0
Oh, there it is. Is it getting obvious?
37:51
S0
And you guys thought you were in this group.
37:56
S0
The only new he was. That's it. We're revolving around you. So repeat after me. You women, yes, Adar.
38:11
S0
Yes, Adar.
38:13
S6
Yes, Adar.
38:14
S0
No. Not.
38:25
S0
You've heard of a father giving birth to himself?
38:31
S0
So he'd have to learn that there was somebody other than him, wouldn't he?
38:38
S0
So first I want you to just kinda sit around and chat a little bit and I want you to run viciously what you do.
38:48
S0
Internal or external. Then, and I'll let you know when, I want you to switch it. So you got to run external then. That's it. All external while she's running incredible internal. So I want you to practice moving the energy different directions.
39:10
S0
So first of all, do what you do and then I'll tell you when this change so that you do the opposite of what you do. And then we're gonna work up to a point where we can have all of you do what Cynthia does.
39:27
S0
At that point, I'm leaving.
39:31
S0
Me too. I think. Well, I don't know. I'm I might leave. I'm not really promising to leave, but but
39:49
S0
Okay? So first of all, do your own thing. Make sure everybody talks and do your thing, then I'll let you know when to change and do the other thing.
40:01
S0
Go. Be Cynthia. These two are gonna try and be Cynthia. And these two are gonna try and be Cynthia. And
40:14
S0
this by the way, you guys, this is Barbara.
40:21
S0
This is Barbara. Remember what Barbara does? This
40:27
S0
is Barbara.
40:30
S0
Remember what Barbara does.
40:34
S0
Remember that what what Barbara does is I absolutely have a reference. It's in here, and I don't know what it is.
40:43
S0
And what Cynthia does always, I think,
40:52
S0
is find the counterexample so that nothing gets definite. So go ahead. Keep talking and play your roles.
41:02
S0
So you guys, this
41:07
S0
this can start out like role playing.
41:13
S0
Can it? Yeah. It can appear to be role playing. Your whole thinking personality started out to be role playing. And then you did it often enough that it didn't seem like role playing anymore. It seemed like you.
41:32
S0
It all was at this point many years ago. So if this starts out like role playing here, keep playing the role and at some point you go, which one am I?
41:46
S0
And when you say which one am I, you have upped your flexibility immensely. And if you say I can't do that one,
41:57
S0
you need to move it around and play with it and play with it and play with it because what you are then is you're an argument for your own limitations and there are no exceptions.
42:11
S0
Your whole personality started out as a role. And then you said, wait a minute, this could run a lifetime.
42:22
S0
How'd you like to do the same play on Broadway for your whole life? Well, what's happened is you become typecast.
42:36
S0
And my suggestion is it's time to end the typecast.
42:40
S0
What the heck? So let's add some other roles and this is where the humanist stands up and says, no, I'm really this way. Yeah, I know you are. That's the problem.
42:55
S0
Go.
42:58
S2
Okay.
43:09
S0
What did you notice? Anybody?
43:13
S0
Anything? What did you notice?
43:16
S4
I felt stronger being internal. And I have a question is how would She
43:22
S0
started her report internal. She closed the sentence external. Yes. I felt stronger being internal.
43:35
S0
So within the same sentence And
43:41
S4
I would like an example of a secure external person.
43:49
S5
First on our oxymoron list.
43:51
S4
Is it an oxymoron?
43:53
S0
No. It's not an oxymoron at all.
43:56
S5
Feels like one.
43:57
S0
Oh, no. Just because you're insecure enough. It's it's not. Yes.
44:06
S4
Yeah. So how can I take a reference point outside and be secure with it? Because internal feels internal is strong
44:12
S0
for Here's an example.
44:17
S0
A tremendously religious person who believes that God has all of the answers.
44:24
S4
They're totally yielding to him.
44:26
S0
Uh-huh.
44:28
S0
Any security? Profound security. Where's the reference?
44:36
S0
It's all external.
44:41
S0
Here's an example.
44:46
S0
Not that in the let yourself glow, we didn't talk about the reference outside yourself on a level other than the one that you're on as a refuge.
44:59
S7
I noticed that when I went internal, I could only do it for a short amount of time, and then I had to go external because I didn't think I had enough information in here.
45:08
S0
Well, it becomes unlivable.
45:09
S7
Mhmm. Like, I panicked. Like, I couldn't hardly like, I was gonna miss The
45:14
S0
analogy is you're on the expressway and you haven't seen a sign for long enough out there that you don't know where you are anymore. Did I miss my exit? What town am I I don't so let's do the expressways trying to do internal while you're typically used to doing external is like no signs on the expressway.
45:44
S0
Where am I? You notice what happens if you're driving along and you just cross an intersection or something and then you look up and it says, such and such a town, so many miles, you go, oh, okay. Thanks. I needed that. So this does relate to what we're talking about last night, what we started with as far as how many times you have to reference your location.
46:17
S0
And
46:20
S0
the power of a tremendous external, if you aren't forced into it, any of this that you're forced into doesn't work. If you're not forced into it, the power of an external is you can't be lost.
46:33
S0
The lack of power of a very strong internal and being forced into it is you're always lost out here. You're just not lost in here.
46:47
S0
And the real key is to pick your spots. Wouldn't that be?
46:53
S0
I'm not in favor of fifty fifty on this little rascal.
47:01
S0
Fifty fifty will get you somewhere near the center line. It will get you doing exactly what the energy is doing.
47:10
S0
I'd much rather have you be out at the edge.
47:16
S0
So go completely internal and then completely external and completely internal and completely external.
47:29
S3
In my particular case, I'm lost altogether.
47:35
S0
You're always found but just don't know it.
47:43
S3
Okay.
47:43
S0
You just did it. That was a beautiful example.
47:56
S0
Sticking on internal or sticking on external only eliminates flirting.
48:09
S0
And flirting is something you need to do because otherwise you will be grasped, you will be stuck, you will be addicted, you will be compulsed. The only way out of compulsion is flirting.
48:22
S0
Otherwise, you compulsively quit and you or you compulsively do either one is compulsion. Ever been to an AA meeting?
48:33
S0
I'm an alcoholic, but but I have good drinking. I'm getting the coffee. It's like a lot of coffee. Yeah. It's replacing one addiction with another, and nothing's changed.
48:51
S2
Seemed easier to do Barbara than to do just straight than external. I was never sure when I was doing external.
48:58
S0
Okay.
49:01
S0
So I understand that you could play and practice with these.
49:06
S6
So
49:12
S6
In my case, being so extremely internal,
49:17
S0
according to France,
49:20
S6
how do I recognize? Is it an uncomfortableness when I'm external? I'm not getting it. I mean, I don't feel like
49:29
S0
There'll be an uncomfortableness with it. K. Most likely.
49:36
S6
K.
49:37
S0
See, what you've done
49:42
S0
there's an element of external in there whether you like it or not. And currently, you give it no attention. But remember, it's going on anyway.
49:54
S0
Do you know how differently you behave with Roshani in the course than you do without her in the course?
50:04
S0
No. You're referencing it.
50:10
S0
I watch you reference her.
50:14
S0
And you didn't have her to reference off of when you did the IC course because she didn't do it with you.
50:20
S6
K.
50:22
S0
That's external reference.
50:25
S0
So what I'm telling you is it's in there whether you like it or not. And if you keep pretending it's not in there,
50:33
S0
then it can just do whatever it wants.
50:35
S6
Well, I'm not pretending
50:35
S0
it's not no clue. Okay. Are you sure?
50:39
S6
Yeah. I'm sure. I'm I'm not
50:41
S0
You're being an argument right now for that it's not in there because you're being just strictly internally referenced.
50:52
S0
In this case, it might help to add 20% external reference to your internal and then up to 40 and then until you get to the point where you're I think it would help for me to be able to see it first what it is. It wouldn't. Okay. Might.
51:13
S0
It could.
51:15
S0
Try external for us. It for sure would.
51:24
S0
I think.
51:26
S0
Okay. So I just gave you the example of Roshani. Can you notice that you're referencing off of her? Yeah. That's external. Can you see that? Yeah. Now you can see it. Now reference off of Judy. You don't have to look at her.
51:50
S0
What we're talking about here is the land of connections. Who are you gonna be connected to?
52:00
S0
No man is an island.
52:05
S0
So we're talking about how many places you're gonna be connected.
52:14
S0
And what the connections do is they provide you a safety net.
52:23
S0
Now if you're sufficiently insecure, it looks like going internal and hiding in there would be the best thing you could do.
52:31
S0
But with that, if you slip up, you have no you you fall and hit hard. With the safety net, if you had a a line to Roshani and a line to Margaret and a line to Pam and a line to Judy and a line to all of these other people, if you're mountain climbing, how many lines you want to you?
52:53
S2
All of them.
52:54
S0
Just enough to be absolutely certain that it'll hold. If you have too many
53:03
S0
then they become in your way entangled and it's potentially dangerous.
53:09
S0
Well, the right number for a human being is to everyone
53:16
S0
because that's in fact where you're influenced the most.
53:27
S0
And one of the problems that I think is going on here is you have no problem being connected to me. And that happened probably before you ever came to visit us, and it continues.
53:44
S0
But you don't wanna be connected to France's personality.
53:51
S6
But I don't How how did you guess that?
53:55
S0
That's almost external. It was the blood. Uh-huh. It came in a way. The black and blue I thought I
54:01
S6
had that covered up.
54:02
S0
Spots and the
54:06
S0
yeah. See, that's the game.
54:09
S0
He says, I thought I had that covered up. This is the you can't see me.
54:22
S0
Ever entered a room and you've seen three and four year olds all hiding from each other?
54:28
S0
They don't have to go anywhere.
54:32
S0
This is like mature divorce
54:37
S0
or you just put the paper there
54:41
S0
at the breakfast table. That's temporary divorce we call it. TD,
54:49
S0
touchdown.
54:56
S0
So now hook to France's personality
55:01
S0
And you'll discover that there's probably a lot of humor in it.
55:11
S0
One of the things we did in the last IC course, which I don't think we've done for a while is mountain climbing.
55:18
S0
The question was who would you go mountain climbing with? Meaning who would you trust with your life on the other end of the rope?
55:28
S0
And what almost nobody ever gets to in that exercise, I don't believe I've ever seen anybody get to in that exercise is whose life could I save?
55:41
S0
Did you get there in that exercise? I don't think so. You were pondering your own life. What if it was whose life could I save?
55:51
S0
Then you go mountain climbing with everybody, wouldn't you?
55:57
S0
Any other questions? What you're supposed to for the sake of humor, you say, which one do I do?
56:05
S2
I've said that a few times. Okay. That that's what I was gonna say. I just wasn't gonna use those exact words probably. Okay. I don't I'm just I was gonna say I'm confused and, yeah, I still don't know what I'm doing.
56:18
S0
What does your group say?
56:21
S2
I don't know.
56:23
S0
Did did you guys say anything?
56:25
S2
We didn't really determine that. Yes. You did?
56:27
S0
Did what you say matter?
56:35
S5
We said we thought you did external and tried to coach you on doing internal. And we thought we heard you say that you thought the the internal was difficult for you.
56:48
S2
They said external, I guess.
56:51
S0
I really
56:51
S2
don't remember who's
56:52
S0
What's she doing?
56:53
S2
Internal. Internal.
56:56
S0
Internal. Internal. Internal. Internal. And you guys fell for the smoke screen on the surface. The smokescreen on the surface is little old me. Go ahead. You guys dance. I'll watch. Just as much as if she has a gun and she's shooting at your feet to get you to dance. She
57:17
S2
had us dancing too. I was dancing.
57:20
S0
Yeah. Watch out because the internals probably won't be dancing.
57:27
S0
He wasn't dancing. He didn't give a shit what she did.
57:36
S0
And the externals were dancing like crazy.
57:41
S0
And she's sitting there watching going, I don't know what I am. Go ahead and dance. I don't have a clue what I am.
57:51
S0
No. I'm sure I don't know what I am. You've just been had. Yeah.
57:59
S2
And and Adar clued me in on that. It didn't Adar clued me in on that too.
58:03
S0
He did?
58:04
S2
Oh, yeah. Very harshly. Yes.
58:08
S0
Yeah.
58:10
S2
But I didn't believe him. I mean, I didn't know. I I I didn't know. It seemed like there was something there, but I I wasn't getting it.
58:17
S0
One of the things to watch is whether or not you're there. Because if you're trying to figure out what she is and you're using her as a clue,
58:30
S0
then you're probably running external.
58:34
S0
Now if that's external and your opt it's your option to run external or not, that's fine. But if you have to run external, chances are very good. You guys, you wanna know how obvious this is? It's just obvious. Here they are.
58:54
S0
France has to run external meaning the energy is going this way. Guess what?
59:06
S0
If you're forced into it, that's your indication.
59:13
S0
So you all you gotta do with anything to get the answer to anything and everything is get back just a little earlier than you've been.
59:25
S0
So what does she do? And you're already running deep external, and it's all sucking in over here, and she'll take every single bit of it. And she's
59:34
S2
a lot sneakier about it than he is. He's real blatant.
59:37
S0
Much sneakier.
59:38
S2
Yeah. So we you know? He just sits
59:41
S0
there and says this is it. I may take it or leave it. And I'll decide which. Yeah. And she goes, oh,
59:52
S0
little old me.
59:53
S4
It looks like she's asking.
59:56
S2
I wasn't. As she was speaking, it looked it seemed as though she was asking us for validation on who she was,
1:00:03
S0
which Yeah.
1:00:04
S2
Struck all of us as external.
1:00:06
S0
Right. And she was suckering you all in.
1:00:10
S2
Let's take her outside.
1:00:13
S0
Shucks, let's do it in here.
1:00:17
S0
My my suspicion, and this is just I'm I'm fairly sure that this is the first time she's ever done this.
1:00:37
S0
Beware of the person who doesn't seem to be running absolutely everything all the time.
1:00:42
S1
I have got Terry and Judy switch roles.
1:00:46
S0
Terry can't do it yet. Adar. Adar. You've got the wrong name. Call me whatever you want. It doesn't matter anymore. I'll call you LipSync. That's fine. I'm
1:00:58
S2
all there is.
1:01:03
S0
If you're all there is, there ain't anymore. Yeah.
1:01:15
S2
I'm not paying attention
1:01:16
S3
to you.
1:01:18
S0
I'm gonna put I'm gonna I'm gonna put my external somewhere else. That's what that translates as.
1:01:29
S2
Oh god.
1:01:35
S0
Yes, Judy.
1:01:36
S2
Okay. What
1:01:41
S2
what does it have to
1:01:42
S0
Where's your attention?
1:01:47
S0
She's like the the one in front of the parade spinning the big thing, and everybody's watching her. And she goes, I'm not here.
1:02:01
S0
Yes?
1:02:04
S0
Did you notice that she was noticeable by her absence in the report of which one she did?
1:02:15
S0
Adara is noticeable by his presence. Judy is noticeable by her absence. They're both internal.
1:02:24
S2
I don't think I have a question. I'll probably find out later. Okay. This is about
1:02:29
S0
After it's too late?
1:02:34
S2
Probably not.
1:02:36
S0
Okay.
1:02:38
S2
Okay. And
1:02:39
S0
I get all internal. Just all internal, all internal, all internal, internal, internal, and you get it. You know it before. I know. Infernal, internal. I know
1:02:51
S6
what she was trying to do internal.
1:02:54
S6
K.
1:02:55
S2
So what would I do to be to do external? What would I need to do? Just
1:03:01
S4
stay with me.
1:03:02
S2
I I can show.
1:03:03
S0
Don't you watch her?
1:03:05
S2
Did she just go external?
1:03:06
S0
Yeah. She did. That's it.
1:03:10
S2
Oh, okay.
1:03:15
S0
Didn't she? She didn't on that little bit, but she did on the bit before it. Yes. So you need a lot more curiosity,
1:03:27
S0
and seek
1:03:30
S0
what they're gonna say.