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Illusion Conclusion
Jerry Stocking
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VIP Course – CD 7
VIP Course – CD 7
VIP_CD_07
1:16:38
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580 utterances · click to jump
00:02
S0
So a test going on up north.
00:08
S0
In one corner, weighing probably a hundred and twenty four pounds is Janae. And in the other corner, occasionally in the other corner,
00:25
S0
But usually all over the place are are Judson and Emily. I
00:34
S0
learned a long time ago what to invest in. I just wanna know what to invest in. Remember I used to be a broker. I know a woman who's 29 years old who invested everything in being cute. How do you foresee the future of her investment?
00:56
S1
Inquiry.
00:57
S0
Too good. Any question about it?
01:01
S2
No.
01:01
S0
Absolutely none.
01:04
S0
I know another woman who considered who's 29 years old too, who considered investing in beauty.
01:11
S0
How's beauty as far as an investment goes? Better than cute, You get you could graph it. Couldn't you? Mhmm. Because cute is gonna go it's gonna plummet. Quickly. Yeah. Whereas beauty might trail off a bit.
01:33
S0
It increase. In an in exceptional cases, it may increase except
01:40
S0
go to an old folks' home and try and tell if the 85 year old is cuter than the 89 year old, And you'll discover that it really is the exceptional cases, and I'm not doubting those exist.
01:55
S0
What do you wanna invest in?
01:59
S0
You. What does that mean? Me? I hadn't thought of that. Well, I mean, I had, but I hadn't thought of you being able to do that.
02:14
S0
That's a good idea. I think
02:15
S2
you've been doing it.
02:16
S0
And what have I invested in? I think learning.
02:22
S3
Growing and
02:23
S0
learning. I think learning is what I've invested in. How does the graph of that look?
02:29
S0
Doesn't it? It just looks absolutely incredible. How does here's a a a curve for you. How about money? Money goes kind of exciting and like this, and then at a certain point, who cares?
02:49
S0
It's too much for you to still get a thrill out of
02:54
S0
and too little to be all of it
02:58
S0
or Bill Gates would be smiling more often and under investigation less often, I suspect.
03:08
S0
So that appears to me to be the curve. So Janae is having trouble with the kids, which is not terribly surprising. We forget that the kids test people because they almost never test us. Well, they never test me and they almost never test Karen because we've passed enough tests so they wouldn't bother.
03:34
S0
Very seldom, I I don't think I've ever seen it where a child stops testing except here. The child wants to find out how you're gonna do on the next test and how you're gonna do on the next test and how you're gonna do on the next one.
03:49
S0
So what's happened is Janae is flunking badly.
03:57
S0
Guess who's thrown the only temper tantrums?
04:02
S0
And my kids never threw any, so they're watching her and going, what what is the motivation behind this?
04:12
S0
I don't quite understand the purpose here. Why would you do this? And she's going, oh, I can't stand it anymore.
04:28
S0
So she thinks, my God, I've got a lot to learn, doesn't she? Maybe. No. Because she hasn't invested in learning.
04:42
S0
That's not where her investment is. She decides that these children are a problem
04:54
S0
And in order to do that, I just want you to watch the technology of this. This is your life. In order to do that, she has to discount all the days that she's seen when we're there and they're not,
05:11
S0
which is virtually all the days that she's ever been there, which is quite a few days now. She has to throw all of those out in order for the kids to be the problem. She misses
05:27
S0
what the change has been that had them be a problem, which is her. So what she does then is she says, this is an exceptional case.
05:40
S0
So, you know, you don't really learn from the exceptional cases. You learn from you pay attention to the bulk of cases. True? So this is an exceptional case.
05:52
S0
The more exceptional cases you have to have in order to survive indicates correlates exactly with the complexity of your illusion. The complexity of your illusion correlates precisely with how much defense it needs.
06:13
S0
You get it? The more complex it is, the more delicate it is, the more sensitive it is, the more anything can throw it off. Mhmm. Absolutely anything can throw it off. So you have to really be careful of it. So she could learn something about herself from this. Instead, she labels it as an exceptional case, and it goes in the exceptional case bin, which is already so full
06:44
S0
that she doesn't get to find out about herself.
06:49
S0
So you gotta watch out for how many exceptional cases you make.
06:55
S0
You're gonna have a difficult time perceiving VIPs as long as there's an awful lot that you have to overlook in order to have yourself look good. You follow? Learning is about wherever it leads.
07:12
S0
It's not controlled. It's following it where it leads. But if you have so much that you have to overlook
07:22
S0
to look good, then you don't get to look.
07:25
S3
What do you mean to look good?
07:29
S3
To save your face?
07:30
S0
It can't yes. It can't be her fault that these problems are happening.
07:35
S4
So she's thinking?
07:36
S0
Yes. If this was She probably never thought it. It it this happened too fast. It's the kids. It's it's just there.
07:44
S1
Right. Mhmm. That's out of her.
07:46
S0
And this is all dictated by VIPs.
07:51
S0
Passive.
07:51
S2
Passive.
07:54
S1
External.
07:55
S0
External. Oh.
07:59
S0
Activity, maybe. Activity.
08:03
S0
And what you get here
08:07
S0
is that that's what's gonna happen.
08:12
S0
And I said, Emily, are you testing her? And she said, yes.
08:17
S0
I said, how's she doing? She says, better sometimes than others.
08:22
S0
I said, you need to take care of her. She said, I don't want to.
08:28
S0
I said, we need one adult in the house. She said, okay.
08:34
S0
And this isn't the Janae's expense, and I'm not saying anything to you that I wouldn't say in front of her. It's just that she wouldn't hear it. See, Karen tried this many years ago with the kids because there was trouble. It wasn't so easy. And she showed up, and they just tested her like I mean, these kids don't, like, test and then watch TV for a while.
09:01
S0
And then test and go eat some junk food and be kinda off the wall for a while. They just keep testing
09:09
S0
and keep testing and keep testing. And Karen uttered the famous words that we've now heard from several other people before. It will be different when they're my own kids.
09:20
S0
Easier.
09:24
S0
You get the lengths that you have to go to to overlook things. Sometimes you just have to make the most ridiculous statements in the universe. How much easier do you think it would be if they were your own kids?
09:37
S0
Infinitely harder.
09:39
S4
Same happens right there.
09:43
S0
Except they're always there.
09:47
S0
How long do you want that splinter in your hand? I think I'll have it forever. Thank you.
09:56
S0
Questions or what did you learn last night?
09:59
S2
I was practicing other. The
10:05
S2
question arose, what prerogative for decision making or action does an other have?
10:12
S0
Whatever the person they're speaking with has and none other.
10:16
S2
So it's always deferral. Deferral. Deferral. Deferral.
10:19
S0
I wrote a a story years ago, maybe a year and a half ago that I'm meaning to send into the funny times at some point. I haven't gotten around to it yet. It's about when I was a kid and I lost my pet
10:36
S0
because pets are pretty important to kids often. Know what my pet was? It was the wrong one to lose. Chameleon? It was a chameleon. Read your book. I lost my chameleon.
10:53
S0
How do you find them? So what happens is you go up to the person running what you do, and you say, hey. This would be a good idea, you could do this. I'll be your personal coach, and I'll tell you this and that and the other. And they go, wow. That's great. What a good idea. That's amazing. That's that'll really work. And then they walk down the street and they see somebody else. And the other person says, did you see that baseball game today? And they go, no. I didn't. Could I come over to your house and watch baseball? And you you gave them 20 assignments to do and they're now watching baseball.
11:42
S0
Unless somebody else walks in the house and they go, ah. It's like a dog that'll follow anybody.
11:51
S0
There's no parameter. It's just whatever's out there. That's it. And that's why I watch you and Dave out on the porch and I watch him running other and I watch you sincerely coaching. And I go, she doesn't know. She doesn't know what she's doing here. She's showing all of hers,
12:18
S0
and it it does nothing, and it gets you nowhere. What other does is it absolutely levels the playing field. So you can't tell if you're dealing with the Dalai Lama or Hitler or who you get it? Because everybody whoever you happen to be with, that's it. That's the whole world. It's a very difficult thing to do.
12:47
S0
It's like being the mirror. While I was talking to Emily on the phone, she said, I'm here watching the hummingbird's shadow.
12:58
S0
She's standing there on the phone and the hummingbird's at the feeder, and rather than watching the feeder, she's watching the shadow of the hummingbird. And I said, are the wings keeping up?
13:11
S0
And she paused, she said, I can't tell.
13:18
S0
That had, like, a metaphorical meaning underneath it regarding other. I'll just I won't tell you what it was, but I'm just telling you it it did.
13:27
S2
Example we had last night of an other. Our waitress was an other, and she was a great waitress as long as she was at our table. But
13:43
S0
God, I love others. Yeah. I have completely fallen in love with this woman because I look at her even when she hates me. I look at her and I go,
13:56
S0
wow.
13:59
S0
Because I'm just getting me back. If you don't like yourself, another is the worst person to be around because you're just gonna hate them.
14:10
S0
Your waitress was pretty good at your table?
14:12
S2
Yeah. At our table. As soon as she left, she forgot about us and was thinking about somebody else. Yeah.
14:18
S0
And taking on whatever their stuff was.
14:20
S2
Exactly. Yeah. So it it took a while.
14:24
S0
She's angry there. She's sad there. She's confused there. And a really important thing to do if you're like that is just stay really busy. She was. Yeah. You gotta stay busy.
14:37
S0
Adopting a 100 kids would be good.
14:41
S0
Cooking a lot. Any number of things to stay busy.
14:47
S0
You just really gotta stay busy because that way you don't notice all the different shifts in personalities.
14:56
S0
It it's a strange one. And there are situations in which it works tremendously well, and you just absolutely have to surround yourself with wonderful people.
15:09
S0
And if you want to learn, by God, run other.
15:16
S0
But then change it as you're learning. But when you're doing the accumulation, the getting the data stage, take it with no reference to anything in here at all. Take it all in. Sort it out later.
15:35
S0
Now if you have to run other later too, then you don't get to sort it out later. You follow? So a succession of these can work very well.
15:45
S0
And what I would do when I found a teacher is I would go run other and I would have nothing of my own. No criteria of my own, no anything of my own, take it all in
15:59
S0
and then say, okay. Now I'm here. Now we'll find out what fits, what doesn't fit, what moves around, what does.
16:08
S0
So other is a tremendously useful step. It's just if you're forced into it and that's all you got, it doesn't work very well. But none of them work very well if you're forced into it and that's all you've got.
16:26
S0
What else?
16:27
S2
I played with self and switch. It was fun.
16:32
S0
I bet.
16:33
S2
Oh, it was a lot of fun. I'm really enjoying it. And I had Roshani and Adair around me.
16:39
S0
You get what she just did?
16:42
S0
She's itself. Nice. That works. I I enjoyed it.
16:53
S2
And I had Roshani and Adira around me really playing strong others, both of them. By this morning, I said, I think it's time
17:05
S2
this morning, I said, I think it's time to pack your bags. It's time for you both to leave. I can't be around you anymore. Oh, and I finally it's like, I'm just I've been ready to throw up all over both of them. It's ugh.
17:17
S0
Congratulations. That's practice.
17:28
S2
So I appreciate both of them for playing that strong out with me because I got
17:32
S0
it. Yeah. Yeah.
17:35
S2
So it Mhmm.
17:37
S0
You get how much more she's here? Yeah. There she is. She takes the mic.
17:45
S0
Hi. I'm Sharon, and I'm ready admit to admit that I'm Sharon.
17:52
S0
Yeah. What the heck?
17:53
S2
And I'm here.
17:57
S4
Steve and I had breakfast this morning. We practiced and had a lot more fun because he could see things that I still couldn't see. And and it was just I was just happy to notice the switch and the self. And last night, I practiced a lot of self, and Janine would like to speak to you.
18:20
S2
Like, Robert,
18:23
S0
I think
18:23
S4
you're already pretty selfish. I said, well, I'm I'm gonna practice it more tonight, honey. So and
18:31
S4
I had fun,
18:32
S0
and she had fun too.
18:34
S1
She also had fun.
18:35
S0
Yeah. Yeah. Nice. This won't hurt on the job.
18:41
S4
Right. Yeah.
18:42
S0
You're right. Here's Robert. Yeah. He says, yeah. You're right. He doesn't need confirmation from me. This is this gonna be a harder day without the sheep here?
18:57
S0
Sheep are turning into wolves. I'll go for that.
19:02
S0
And the one suggestion just because
19:07
S0
you're learning this, it doesn't matter how far you progress. I'm still gonna nail you and try and get you to go further. Did did you catch on to that?
19:19
S0
You built up steam as you were talking here. You can start with full steam. So that's just a little thing for you to notice. You don't have to build up to it. We can handle it, and especially you can handle it. You can just start with the power.
19:38
S4
I can do that. Mhmm.
19:41
S0
Oh, that's it.
19:47
S0
And soon it won't be an act.
19:51
S0
It'll be an option.
19:54
S0
I'd rather have an option than an act, wouldn't you? And the other one that was life, the only way you knew it will become an option as well. So it will all become options. And you know what options are. Yes? It's a way of leveraging your investment so that you can win more or lose more in the quick period of time.
20:20
S4
Only that amount?
20:21
S0
Yeah. And that's it. But it's strong leverage. We learned with when the lawnmower got stuck there and we're trying to lift it and Joe runs and gets
20:37
S0
something to leverage the thing with. We learned it rolling a bit of a log during the let yourself glow course, didn't we? What do you figure that thing weighs?
20:51
S2
500 pounds? Yeah.
20:54
S0
What? Tons.
20:57
S0
Tons. It's this big around, and it's how long? Twenty twenty feet long. I mean, too big to move.
21:10
S0
And the levers helped, didn't they?
21:11
S2
The one that you left.
21:12
S0
With a good sized depression between it and where we were going. So you gotta work your way through the depression. Gonna stop on the other side. And
21:28
S0
a god. Our hands were sore from pushing on the bark of the tree. It
21:35
S0
was a kick. The kick didn't move it. It took persistent action and the stump on the other side.
21:47
S2
What happens when you get two levers together? What's the formula there?
21:55
S0
A morgue. Yes. What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do?
22:01
S0
Typically, you don't get two others, and, typically, you don't get them apart
22:07
S0
if you do get two others.
22:10
S2
When I look at another when I see others
22:12
S0
It's it's sometimes I'm attracted because it's a Double o. It's the universal donor.
22:33
S0
If if they have any blood left I'm not
22:35
S2
if I'm seeing a mirror with a with a with a another what are they what are they getting? They just
22:42
S0
Nothing. Mirror? Nothing. What does the mirror get? If you could sneak back in after you've looked in the mirror and you could sneak back in so fast that the mirror didn't see you when you snuck back in, you discover that you weren't still there.
23:01
S0
You follow? Uh-huh. Yeah.
23:07
S0
What? Any
23:11
S0
emotion in that?
23:19
S0
They don't get anything.
23:21
S2
What's the attraction that they have for one another? If wants to hang out with somebody else who is there, what's the attraction for two people who there's nothing there?
23:33
S0
It's easy. What?
23:36
S0
It's one one of the things you one can discover watching deer is that they aren't really going anywhere.
23:47
S0
They just kind of wander from here to there to here to there. And yet if you look at it from a completely different perspective, a larger perspective, you would discover that they start every single morning around this area and they end up every single evening somewhere around this area. And yet if you take any snapshots in between you, it's just ambling and it looks random. Almost everything looks random until you get the view on it where it's not random. They aren't really just running other. They're running all the other ones too. They're absolutely running all of the other ones too. She didn't just learn this. She just found it in there because it's in there. It's been in there the whole time. It's just been very quiet and not very visible.
24:46
S0
But it's still in there. It's just one focuses and you go, okay. This is all there is. Well, it's not all there is. All the others are still there. All these programs are in there.
24:59
S0
It's just the the pattern of going back to the same one over and over again.
25:04
S2
So if two others are together, somebody's the another dominant pattern in there, not which isn't dominant, but it's stronger than the other ones is gonna dominate what's going on between them.
25:15
S0
And something's hooking it. Yes. Two other ones are I mean, two patterns other than other are hooked together in there. Yes.
25:27
S0
Which brings up a fairly relevant thing as you start to learn these. You're gonna look at a couple and you're gonna go, uh-huh. That's that.
25:39
S0
Predominant couple nowadays. Man runs Other. Other. Woman runs Switch. Switch.
25:53
S0
So many couples. Man runs other, woman runs switch. He says, hit me harder. She says, when I'm damn good and ready, I'll hit you harder. Yeah.
26:10
S0
All over the place. I'm amazed at how many of them there are. That's a fairly standard. Don't find that many others and others together.
26:24
S0
But look around the room. See, this is and we did this at the at dinner last night.
26:33
S0
Hand Steve the mic, please. Come on up front.
26:38
S0
Do this fairly quickly. Look at the group. Look across the group thinking who is my favorite in the group.
26:49
S0
So who's your favorite?
26:50
S5
France and Pilar, Stephan.
26:52
S0
Okay. Who's your least favorite? Peyton. Okay. This is education because he's not thinking a lot and his patterns are picking it. That tells you currently who his patterns are gonna pick. It doesn't mean that in ten minutes, that's who his patterns are gonna pick if he's fiddling with them.
27:14
S5
When I
27:14
S0
But it tells you in fifty years who his patterns are gonna pick if he doesn't fiddle with them.
27:19
S5
And when I think, I to choose where I'm going to be, I choose, like, around Jerry or someplace where I'm learning or someplace where there's not a lot of insight.
27:29
S0
He's he says, I I wanna I I'm thinking of different job options, and I'm fiddling with this, and I'm whatever. And I said, you need a strong boss
27:41
S0
Because it's unlikely that that other is gonna get taken care of quickly enough. You need a powerful boss.
27:50
S5
And that's what I'm looking for. Yeah.
27:51
S1
Yeah. That's exactly what I'm looking for.
27:53
S0
And he needs direction. We we watched this as he worked on our property up there is that we'd give him a project and he'd start the project. And at a certain point in the project, he would have to reference in here, and that's when I needed to be there to say this is the way you do that.
28:15
S0
Because without that reference, he would do something that didn't work. That doesn't mean that once he's got the task, he's absolutely who I want. Mhmm. Because he will do it. And he will do it and he will do it. But if it's a task that requires creativity, at a certain point, he comes up deficient in the task. That doesn't mean that he'll do that for long. But you get how this could perhaps be useful if you were somebody hiring people for specific jobs in a company?
28:45
S0
Oh, it just might come in handy.
28:49
S0
How could you do without it? Or hiring somebody as a spouse.
28:56
S0
Because, generally, it's your patterns that pick your spouse, and it's your patterns that fire your spouse, And it's your patterns that pick your job and it's your patterns that pick everything.
29:09
S0
If you say, oh my god. I'm attracted to that one. Then you say, what does that say about me right now? What are they running? So what does that say about me right now? And then you play this really kind of fun thing, which is you extrapolate out to find out how it would go.
29:28
S0
How those patterns would dance over time and you say, what what you
29:34
S0
underlying the patterns are basic declarations you've made about yourself,
29:43
S0
about who you really are that underlies those. And then the patterns just serve the purpose of making sure that you don't get anything better than you've or worse than you've said you deserve.
30:02
S0
But you gotta fiddle with the patterns to get down to those ones that you've said. But the patterns will show you what you've said.
30:13
S0
The patterns will let you know. The patterns
30:18
S0
pull our up front.
30:22
S0
Look at the group. Who's your favorite,
30:27
S0
and who's your least favorite?
30:31
S2
Joe.
30:34
S2
Pam.
30:35
S0
That's favorite and least favorite. Mhmm. Did you know that, or did you just think it was the other way around?
30:45
S0
Judy, up front.
30:49
S0
Favorite and least favorite, but not referencing anything. Thanks. You've ever done before looking at them now.
30:57
S2
Pat.
31:02
S2
Cynthia. K.
31:06
S0
So this is what you find out. Because last night, it was two different people for her. And what's happened is these patterns have changed. Your patterns have altered slightly out of your practice, out of what we did yesterday. You know, so yesterday thanks. You go up, down, all around. Did you notice this? The moods in the room were extraordinary all over the place.
31:39
S0
Judy Junior liked what Sharon was running yesterday,
31:44
S0
but what she's running now doesn't work. As a matter of fact, it almost makes her invisible to her. Didn't notice that?
31:55
S0
She hardly even saw her.
31:56
S2
I hardly
31:56
S0
noticed that. Yes. When
32:00
S0
the pattern starts shifting around, who are you?
32:09
S0
Now somebody asked if this is what NLP teaches. NLP teaches these at such a shallow level that they say that they're context dependent.
32:20
S0
So with one person, you may run totally different patterns than you run with another. So they're teaching them that they're very superficial. And we teach them that they almost never change unless people come to something like this and play at it in such a way.
32:42
S0
Next program.
32:43
S2
Next program is comparison.
32:47
S2
Match and mismatch in priority.
32:54
S0
Remember it's outlined in the book.
32:57
S2
And there's no comparison.
32:59
S0
Which is no comparison at all.
33:08
S2
So with comparison, like with match, I'm just gonna explain the ones in comparison, and then we'll get to novelty. That's when Jared talks.
33:18
S2
Match is how is this like something else? When you're walking down the street, say you're taking a walk and you're looking at different things, immediately in your head with match, you're comparing it to how it's like other things, and that's how you determine what it is.
33:36
S2
And with mismatch, you're always looking for how is this different than everything else. Again, how you're still comparing it, but you're looking for you know, people do mismatch. They I went to a restaurant. This is the kind of restaurant that is so unusual. It's not like any I've ever been to before. Or like when Cynthia said about her weekend, I did something that I've never done before. This is something that is unusual for me. So that's kind of what mismatches is picking something that's very different. People like this can't find their keys. They have they put things in places where they don't remember where they put them. Their house looks a mess.
34:23
S2
So
34:29
S0
I know. It's such a big world.
34:39
S0
The likelihood of the keys ever being in the same location twice is so small, isn't it, Cynthia?
34:45
S2
The mathematical probability is. I mean, they and you
34:49
S0
The mismatches are getting some enjoyment out of this. They finally get a little bit of recognition rather than just being blamed.
34:58
S2
Pups will be in the place place. Things will just be in different spots. That's what mismatches. And they're kind of they're interesting because they can come but they do they sort for counter examples a lot. How you know, this you know, they come up with all the things that it isn't when you say how it is.
35:16
S0
So what Cynthia was doing is She's a star
35:20
S2
Yeah.
35:21
S0
In the area of mismatch. So
35:26
S2
it's, you know, it's like her to have totally different patterns, the internal, external thing, because that's different than anything else Most people
35:33
S0
See, this didn't just show up yesterday or last week. This has been a long engagement.
35:42
S0
So it even defined the way she set up her patterns. This one showed up earlier than some of the other patterns, so she set them up differently. Remember when I said this is an exceptional case? I haven't called in many exceptions, but this that's the mismatch at work. They go, that feels right.
36:04
S0
I've run into these people who have put the different things in different places, and they really are in the different places. Even auditory, visual, and kinesthetic are in different places. But, typically, they'll just do, like, one in a completely different place so that anybody who knows this stuff can't get anything. They can't figure out what in the world's going on, and all it is is a a different hiding place.
36:33
S2
Polarity is an easier one.
36:36
S0
No. It's not.
36:42
S3
They usually just say
36:43
S2
the opposite of what you're saying.
36:45
S0
No. They don't.
36:48
S2
So these people, you can really learn how to deal with very quickly.
36:52
S0
Uh-uh.
36:54
S0
They're very hard to deal with.
36:55
S2
They're very difficult to deal with.
37:00
S0
Yes. They're not.
37:07
S0
There are people who got stuck in the terrible twos.
37:10
S2
We I remember doing an an advanced course with someone. No. We didn't do any.
37:21
S0
It's a pretty pretty easy ground to defend, though, isn't it? You just gotta listen to what they're saying and go opposite.
37:27
S2
So with someone he was sitting in this group. He's a large guy.
37:31
S0
No. He wasn't. Thin. Thin as a marble. Yeah.
37:37
S2
Just That's thin now.
37:38
S0
Just a read Just just a read of a little thing. Yes.
37:51
S2
It wasn't quite like what I heard you say before.
37:58
S0
You get it? You got me. How do you go opposite that one? And that's what you need to do with polarities. It was a beautiful, beautifully done example. I go, there's nothing there to go opposite. Where do I go? And they just wait,
38:18
S0
hoping that there's gonna be something that shows up as either black or white so they can do the opposite.
38:25
S2
I have a question that I've had since the last time we did this.
38:29
S0
I don't want any old questions.
38:30
S2
I keep going?
38:33
S0
What are the polarities? God. I'd like some new questions.
38:36
S2
Where where do they draw from each other by themselves? Don't they have to mass match or mismatch?
38:41
S0
They they do nothing by themselves.
38:45
S0
They're always in reaction. The polarities, always in reaction.
38:53
S0
They are. They gotta be around somebody that they can react to.
38:57
S3
They're never a stimulus.
39:00
S0
Can't do it.
39:01
S4
They're always Polarity and other.
39:02
S0
Yeah. See, you gotta do polarity passive and other. Try it.
39:17
S0
But they couldn't be that expressive to vomit.
39:32
S0
It starts to come out, and they take it back in.
39:37
S0
It's kinda what owls do for their young.
39:42
S0
That was mismatch again. Gosh. Darn it. I I occasionally mismatch. I mismatch.
39:50
S0
She goes,
39:52
S0
How
39:55
S0
is that like this? What? It doesn't seem to be like that at all.
40:02
S2
And everyone since we're always doing these all the a lot of the time, we're doing these almost all of the time.
40:10
S2
When you wanna preface something to someone, you can sometimes say, you probably might you wouldn't be interested in something like this. So that goes for their polarity, and they go, I I could be interested in something like that.
40:24
S0
So you just tell them the opposite of whatever you want them to do. And
40:28
S2
and they'll respond. They'll have a different listening than if you said you should be interested in something like that.
40:33
S0
And what always works with polarities
40:38
S0
I'm I'm talking I've never seen a case when it didn't work, is to say to them, you wouldn't maybe not wanna do that
40:50
S0
because they can't tell what to go opposite to. They can't the the basic thing of a polarity is it has to be something bold faced that they can react to if you give them two or three turns in the they can't do it. They only did polarity so that they didn't ever have to take a turn.
41:14
S0
And so if you do that, we know a guy at a company. His brother and him are,
41:23
S0
the co owners of the company, and his brother runs Other and Polarity, and he runs Other and match.
41:36
S0
And so I taught him this simple little thing of saying, wouldn't you maybe not like to and his brother is entirely immobilized. He has absolutely no chance
41:49
S0
and no interest in learning a chance either. Because if somebody said, would you like to come to a workshop? He'd say no.
41:59
S0
That didn't shift anything for him? For who? When you told the one guy what to do with him, given the negative, it didn't shift anything for his brother over time?
42:12
S0
I don't know, and I don't think so.
42:17
S0
The question is, does he wanna contribute to his brother or does he wanna dominate his brother? Well, I can tell you that if you're still running comparison, it's a competition.
42:29
S0
The nature of comparison until you get down to novelty, all of comparison is competition.
42:37
S0
It's all competition.
42:42
S0
All of comparison is competition whether you admit it or not. It's coming up with the other the oddest thing or something better than that.
42:55
S3
So for all the patterns that we have learned and that we're going to learn and that exist is did you say that comparison and novelty is one that people always run? Or
43:05
S0
They run all of them.
43:06
S3
All of them. And, Jared, when you do a metaphor, is that an example of mismatch?
43:11
S0
Yes. Always. I mean Pretty much always.
43:18
S0
Yes. It is.
43:20
S2
That's a great
43:24
S0
Match is this
43:28
S0
is like
43:31
S0
this.
43:32
S3
Blatant is obvious.
43:33
S0
This is like this. Match is like an equal sign.
43:39
S0
Okay? Mismatch is somehow this and this have some relationship
43:53
S0
that we have not yet covered. There may be even a few other links necessary to get there,
44:04
S0
which is what
44:07
S0
Karen looked at me yesterday and she came over and she said, the big rock in Cynthia's stream is mismatched. The whole thing, the whole, every single part of it is dependent upon mismatch.
44:22
S0
Here she is. She's just
44:24
S2
Yes. So
44:25
S0
found a home.
44:26
S2
Yeah. It's so great because it explains
44:29
S0
Where's the mic?
44:31
S2
It explains why Robert and I, when we're trying to create something together, it's it's it shuts down every time.
44:39
S0
Robert is looking at this. Robert sees this.
44:46
S0
And Robert goes
44:49
S0
and Cindy goes, no. There could easily be a new number out here,
44:57
S0
a horla, which you could need to go to. And then what that does is it changes the one you go to next so that you can go back to this one and then out to six, and then you can mathematically subtract three three from six and four divide by two, which indicates that you can go out to five.
45:28
S2
And he says that interrupts his flow.
45:35
S0
And you say,
45:41
S0
this interrupts your flow, sweetheart.
45:48
S0
Just to let him know.
45:49
S2
Kinda interrupt you.
45:52
S0
That's an interruptive flow. The other is just a metaphor. You
46:04
S0
need to read less science and more poetry.
46:11
S0
So match is that.
46:15
S0
Mismatch is
46:19
S0
match just loves when they get the dot to dot drawn and they see what it was. They go, there it is. I solved it. It's really neat to give Match people very simple things to figure out because they are so proud. And you just pat them on the head when they do it. You just say, wow.
46:40
S2
And then you say, so what? Get
46:42
S0
over it. That was done good. Get
46:47
S0
over it before.
46:51
S0
Get over it before you congratulate yourself. Cut it out. Any idea which one the predominant one is here? Not here, but Match. All over the place. Mismatch is just in a more advanced intellectual level. It's not better.
47:08
S3
That's those those are your metaphors.
47:15
S0
Yes. Because the metaphor is
47:18
S0
a convoluted way of saying this is this. A metaphor is a way of saying there's this, and I'm gonna show you how to get from that
47:33
S0
to this.
47:36
S0
I'm gonna show you a way to get from that to this that you've never considered before. That's what a metaphor is. And it's the revealing of a trail to get from that to that via a mouse,
47:53
S0
a house, a dog with a broken leg,
47:59
S0
a pathologist,
48:04
S0
a pharmacy
48:05
S2
Texas roach.
48:07
S0
A Texas roach.
48:18
S0
Schenectady, New York.
48:21
S0
See, this to me is just a joke.
48:25
S0
And I promise you that I could make up a story on the spot that you would find entertaining that would bring every single one of these in and have you show how those led you precisely to that.
48:40
S3
Show relationship between the two.
48:42
S0
That's it. Show relationship via whatever to whatever. It's the revealing of the connections. That's what a metaphor is. And you say the connections reveal themselves.
48:57
S0
And I say, you reveal the connections. It's an argument between active and passive.
49:06
S0
And I learned from a pro.
49:10
S0
I learned from Dave Dobson that everything's a story. And the only reason I learned from him rather than Milton Erickson is Milton Erickson was dead by the time I found out I needed to know that.
49:23
S3
Everything is a story.
49:25
S0
And Milton Erickson knew that everything is a story to listen to tapes of this man. This is hypnotherapy.
49:34
S0
This is hypnosis. This is not hypnosis. This is direct and understandable and I get it. This is how often do I have to be lost in this thing? How often do I have to flirt? Meaning deal with the unknown and you mean that's connected to that via this and that and this and that? That's mismatch. And that's life as a metaphor.
50:05
S0
Lot of humor in that. Potentially.
50:10
S0
And it can also be used very aggressively to throw people off your trail and that's a misuse of it.
50:20
S0
You get it? It can be used to reveal connections to people that they didn't conceive existed or it can be used to conceal them and get people confused and crazy.
50:34
S3
I I just heard you say that every
50:38
S0
is a metaphor for what she's gonna say next.
50:43
S3
Everything is a story. Yes. Our existence. Yeah. Everything. That's a universal qualifier. Yeah. And it should and it is not to be refuted?
50:55
S0
Yes. Everything's a story.
50:58
S3
So
51:00
S3
that seems, therefore, that there could be a place where I could
51:07
S3
start my car with the blueberry.
51:11
S2
Uh-huh. And
51:12
S3
fire will not be extinguished by water.
51:15
S2
Uh-huh.
51:16
S3
I can start a fire with water.
51:17
S0
So this is one of the games we played with the kids. We'd say we'd give them a universal statement, and they would find the exceptions.
51:29
S0
This That's re really they all do, sweetheart. Try and put out an oil fire sometime with water.
51:40
S0
It don't work so good.
51:46
S0
I'm telling you that it's all stories all the way down. And the trick here, the huge trick here,
52:00
S0
what can't light do?
52:04
S0
It can't go around a corner. It can't go around a corner, really. You get it? Mismatch. But you can, and this is how you do it.
52:20
S0
So this is the way you find something that's not your true nature since you are light. This is the way you can discover things that light can't.
52:34
S0
So this is where you can separate from light so that you can see and dissociate from it enough to see that you are it
52:45
S0
because these will take you around any corner. And you watched in the Let Yourself Glow course where I would make statements that would require people to do these corners.
52:57
S0
And when they did those corners, their personalities went straight,
53:03
S0
and they went around the corner.
53:18
S0
And yet there's that part of light
53:22
S0
that travels much faster than the speed of light,
53:28
S0
which not only misses corners but misses the straight lines as well.
53:36
S0
And that's a metaphor for movement.
53:39
S1
On your comparison and novelty
53:42
S0
You really can talk right now.
53:43
S2
I can't
53:44
S3
I know.
53:45
S0
You're right.
53:45
S3
Shot me right
53:46
S2
through the head.
53:47
S0
She can still talk. It's neat.
53:50
S1
I wasn't enough enough to
53:51
S0
that, and she knows it.
53:58
S0
The two baby children. 20.
54:03
S0
What's that?
54:06
S0
I'll tell you the answer to life. Oops. It's very simple. That's oops. Ready for the answer to life? Yes.
54:19
S0
A much larger gap. A much larger gap. So I was supposed to be shopping at the gap. No. In your plugs.
54:29
S1
Oh, in my plugs.
54:32
S0
I knew my spark was a little low. Yes?
54:37
S1
In your in comparison to novelty.
54:45
S2
I have
54:46
S0
a question.
54:47
S1
In comparison and novelty, it appears that novelty is the way to and my vocabulary is gonna be really rough on this, is to sort of free ourselves from the constraints that we are when we're going through comparison.
54:59
S0
Yes.
54:59
S1
In other metaphor programs, is there the equivalent of novelty?
55:06
S0
Do you get the intelligence of the question? It's a very intelligent question.
55:11
S2
I'm sure. It's algebra.
55:12
S0
It's a very intelligent question. It I mean, as if she could help it, you know, straight from her patterns.
55:22
S2
Can you can you see what the question is?
55:26
S2
She's
55:28
S0
saying, is there a doorway out of all of the other meta programs? Like, there's the doorway out of this one. Oh. Is what she's saying. Because novelty is the doorway out. She
55:42
S0
she's saying novelty is the doorway out of this. Novelty is the place without
55:51
S0
sequence
55:55
S0
and without time and space because it all occurs at the moment.
56:03
S0
So the connections themselves reveal the connections themselves, and there's nobody to observe the connections they observe themselves. Yes?
56:16
S1
I'm I'm just thinking again.
56:17
S4
That doesn't mean anything to me.
56:19
S0
Okay. We're far enough out for you, sweetheart?
56:22
S2
That's what just happened. That's what just happened.
56:25
S0
I know. Yeah.
56:27
S2
I know.
56:32
S2
And then how how can Peggy come back?
56:34
S0
Robert's gonna talk. Pass him the mic.
56:38
S4
In the IC course, I said busting patterns, and you said let's call that adding novelty?
56:44
S0
Yes.
56:47
S0
What do you do? I think we can
56:53
S0
arguably ignore novelty for the moment. And
57:01
S0
do you have something to say?
57:05
S2
So let answer the things question.
57:09
S2
Comparison.
57:10
S0
You get she's doing match. She just set it up as match. You watch it? Yeah. So she's doing her patterns here. This is connected to Peggy's question. Okay.
57:25
S2
Comparison being the one that drives all of the other medical programs?
57:30
S0
No. No. No.
57:31
S2
I got what her question was, but I'm I'm thinking that when someone does other simultaneous, they have to do comparisons to do that.
57:40
S1
Mm-mm.
57:42
S2
It's a comparison came early on that it Yes. From the other patterns. But
57:47
S0
it's not a
57:48
S2
good escape from all the other patterns?
57:54
S0
Novelty is an escape from the other patterns. Yes. You mean might you add novelty in each one of those, and that would be the escape door? Yes.
58:02
S2
Yeah. So then it would be comparison.
58:06
S0
You're still thinking within comparison. That's what you're bumping up against it.
58:12
S2
Adding novelty to any of the meta programs is the same as doing any other meta program.
58:19
S2
Switching your patterns is adding novelty. For me to do something other than other is novelty. Yes. Even though it's another meta program.
58:28
S0
Yes. But it that gives you a door to the one you were in,
58:35
S0
to some other one.
58:36
S2
Which is another pattern.
58:38
S0
Of course. But but to the pattern you were in, it's not another pattern.
58:46
S2
It's something new.
58:47
S0
Yes.
58:50
S0
At some point, if you take apart your VIP significantly, you will be sitting with a group of people and you will see a connection that you know that not only none of these people have ever seen, but that probably nobody in the world has ever seen.
59:13
S0
And you'll go.
59:19
S0
And then you'll let go of that one. And then guess what'll happen? Another one will come in.
59:26
S2
The connections reveal themselves.
59:27
S0
And the connections reveal themselves. What do you do? Match mess mess?
59:38
S0
Never did that at all.
59:43
S5
Match.
59:46
S0
Hallelujah. Like
59:53
S0
like that. Just like that.
59:55
S2
Okay. Match.
59:59
S0
And she wishes it was
1:00:01
S2
This match. Mountain Tumblebee.
1:00:05
S0
But not shooting that high. She wishes it was mismatch. But because she has to go through mismatch to get to novelty, she'd rather not.
1:00:17
S0
Because she'd have to lose every part of what she knows.
1:00:21
S1
And I have to go through polarity?
1:00:24
S0
You have to go through mismatch. Polarity is like a a little dead end road off to the side. And it's not as though everybody doesn't this is a little different program here. Everybody has that little bit of polarity which sticks in there.
1:00:42
S2
Match with some matching. Mismatch. I've been mismatching some.
1:00:50
S0
You have? Compared to what?
1:00:54
S2
Compared to
1:01:01
S0
Consider yourself caught.
1:01:04
S0
Really, I've been doing a bunch of mismatch.
1:01:13
S0
You get your matching when you said that? So you may have been doing it, but you weren't just doing it. So you'd have to show it to us now if you're
1:01:24
S0
Match.
1:01:28
S2
Match.
1:01:31
S2
Mismatch?
1:01:36
S2
What's next?
1:01:42
S0
What does she do?
1:01:45
S0
Talk to her. Find out what she does. There's another program that works integrally with this one, which is past, present, future.
1:02:01
S0
Present will put you where? Novelty. Novelty.
1:02:08
S0
Past will put you where?
1:02:10
S1
Match. Match.
1:02:14
S0
Match. Match. Match. That's it. What
1:02:20
S0
does she do?
1:02:25
S2
Match.
1:02:25
S0
Match with a smoke scene. A a lot of smoke around. Pillar.
1:02:35
S2
Match.
1:02:36
S0
Pad is match without the smoke.
1:02:41
S0
Match.
1:02:48
S0
Wouldn't she have to?
1:02:50
S2
And I didn't know that I did that.
1:02:52
S0
I know. If that's the only thing you learned this year, that's a big one.
1:03:01
S2
It always seemed to me like I would I would I would take the one two three four five and go from one to six. I didn't know I was going up here.
1:03:12
S0
How much of your life is this defined?
1:03:15
S2
I assume all of it.
1:03:16
S0
Mean It's incredible, isn't it? Look at your life. If you can possibly look back just a little bit and get the repercussions of this because you'll see instance after instance after instance where you were forced to mismatch by yourself. You don't even need somebody there. You just were forced to mismatch. One of these isn't better than the other. You gotta learn to do them all. There are even instances in which polarity is valuable,
1:03:51
S0
especially with an other sorter. So whatever they say, you go counter to. Try that with somebody who sorts for other. It's a pretty good joke. No. It's not.
1:04:05
S0
Yes. It is. Remember the Monty Python argument clinic? Oh.
1:04:14
S0
It's not. You you paid a certain amount of money, you went in, and they would provide you with an argument.
1:04:20
S3
He's the guy who commend you because I commend you for an argument.
1:04:23
S0
No. You didn't.
1:04:27
S0
Yes. I did. No. You didn't. Well, this this is simply contradiction. It's not an argument. I mean, it's really not a they had some word for it beginning with p that he he was saying that it was, but it wasn't polarity. It was there was some other word, which means going counter to. And then no matter what he said, the guy would disagree with what he said, so he couldn't get past the the disagreement there. Yeah. It's defined what you wear, defined how you sit. Look at yourself sitting. It's defined it all.
1:05:04
S0
What if you could do match when it was appropriate? What if you could do polarity any old time? What if you could say, one, two, three, four, five, six.
1:05:22
S0
Was that match that I just did? Absolutely not. See, she has missed something fairly relevant here. She doesn't ever mismatch her mismatch, which would be match. So
1:05:41
S0
all you need to do to run match is mismatch or mismatch.
1:05:48
S0
And then it becomes novel to go one two three four five six. There you go.
1:06:00
S0
Okay. And Robert goes, yeah. That's right. And stays in match.
1:06:09
S0
And you've exited the competition there because you've gone to novelty. It's not about the content. Do a little polarity to match and you'll end up with mismatch. It's a sprinkling of polarity to match to get you to mismatch.
1:06:29
S0
And then it's doing match without doing match, which will take you to novelty.
1:06:39
S0
And that just opens them right up. How many ways are there to open these up?
1:06:44
S2
The Internet.
1:06:45
S0
A lot.
1:06:47
S2
Plus one.
1:06:49
S0
A lot plus one. Or
1:06:54
S0
do you wanna just have a little piece of data here? And
1:06:57
S2
Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
1:06:59
S0
Okay. Good. Do you wanna do anything I say to do that? Absolutely anything I say no matter what?
1:07:07
S0
Well, then you'll work on it in your own way.
1:07:12
S0
Okay.
1:07:15
S0
Karen reminded me that we started the last VIP course talking about trust, respect, surrender, adding novelty. If you can't trust me, who can you trust?
1:07:29
S0
That's Judy's question right here. And her answer is
1:07:36
S0
herself. That's okay. If that bothered me, you couldn't trust me.
1:07:44
S0
See oh, Karen.
1:07:50
S0
Oh, I just what got what the whole thing's about over there.
1:07:59
S0
She's running polarity to herself. She thinks something and then runs polarity to it, and then she thinks polarity to that, and then she thinks polarity to that. This is the
1:08:14
S0
it's not like there aren't all kinds of thoughts. She's just running polarity to every polarity to every polarity to every polarity to every how big a rock is it?
1:08:24
S2
I doubt how big it was. Big.
1:08:30
S0
It's really big.
1:08:33
S0
Grande. Grande. Grande.
1:08:37
S0
Oh, I love Spanish. Especially now that I can speak it so well. I can say big death in Spanish.
1:08:46
S0
What more would you need to say? They ask me what I want. I say big death. There are lots of places in town where that could be
1:09:02
S0
get it? Mhmm. See, she doesn't even need you to run polarity too. We talked about the polarity needing somebody else. With sufficient combustibles, you can do it yourself.
1:09:20
S2
Yeah.
1:09:23
S0
But look what's she just, for about the last twenty seconds, let go of it. Did you watch that twenty seconds? It all lightened up.
1:09:34
S2
Yeah.
1:09:37
S0
So do you wanna invest? Remember we talked about what you invest in and graphs of the different things? How about abuse?
1:09:47
S0
What's the graph of that? Maybe time to change your investment.
1:09:54
S0
Okay? Mhmm. Now if she took that seriously, it would be more of the same. You follow? It would just be more of the same. She'd be abusing herself about abusing herself. Okay? Thanks. That's yeah. That might be a big one for you. It's just possible. So when we break into groups and you play with this, I'll expect you to be playing with aggressively. And so I won't be terribly disappointed if you don't. You may not be able to you may you may not need to be in a group for this part of the thing since you've now got it handled.
1:10:33
S2
Yeah. It's tough to have to follow.
1:10:40
S2
I run Polaris sometimes, and I have fun with it. It's not my my main one. I don't know. I probably have to say match, but I get a kick out of mismatch. So can you guys tell me? Was
1:10:57
S2
that mismatch?
1:10:58
S0
What'd you get? Mismatch. That's what I got. That
1:11:04
S0
was a winding road, wasn't it?
1:11:08
S0
And the really neat thing about a winding road
1:11:15
S0
is it provides incentive to enjoy the journey.
1:11:20
S0
See what you've gotten with your mismatch is you, I think, often forget to enjoy the journey. A mismatcher will get to where you can't go faster than you could ever get to.
1:11:38
S0
But if you're gonna be a mismatcher, you've gotta learn to enjoy the journey because you never know where in the world it's taking you on the way. And that the essential element of mismatch is it's not about getting somewhere. That's what you have to get if you're gonna do mismatch. That's the essential ingredient for you to effectively learn mismatch is it can't be about getting somewhere. And when I tell people who are matchers to tell a story with the ingredients honey, car, and bear. They say, once there was a bear who held some honey and was sitting in the car.
1:12:24
S0
And you can go, we got a matcher here. Because they had to get them. They had to finish them off.
1:12:31
S2
That's what I did at the last IC course, but it's I'm very nervous about telling the
1:12:36
S0
story Yeah. I know. In front of a lot of people. So there's a a lot of mismatch here.
1:12:44
S0
K?
1:12:46
S2
I'm in tenths match. I'll you three guesses what Yadar is.
1:13:01
S0
Chinese.
1:13:07
S0
Item four and angry.
1:13:13
S1
I've kinda my mirror kinda goes towards polarity, but I think it's kind of smokescreen with mismatch. But I think I can run a lot of polarity in my head.
1:13:40
S0
Go ahead. Absolutely not. Absolutely
1:13:45
S0
not. Not. Come right down to her bones.
1:13:52
S0
Absolutely right down to her bones. And he's a matcher right down to his bones.
1:14:02
S2
I mean, I really had it paid absolutely the opposite of what you just said.
1:14:10
S2
That one?
1:14:11
S0
Yeah.
1:14:14
S0
You see how it just opens it right up? Pow. It opens it. You see her? Yeah. Yeah. It opens it right up.
1:14:25
S0
It's been her whole life. Like, it's been Cynthia's whole life, but it's not yet obvious to her that it has been. And I agree with you on polarity as a smokescreen, but I think it's a smokescreen for match, not for mismatch.
1:14:42
S1
Well, there's a lot of polarity that comes up for me.
1:14:45
S0
I know.
1:14:45
S1
I can see it. I mean, because I
1:14:48
S0
And you understand that polarity makes you totally predictable and maneuverable by from the outside because you have to go opposite to it.
1:15:01
S0
Do you follow that? I didn't understand. I feel right now. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. All you need to know that is right now. Well, I know that
1:15:09
S2
right now.
1:15:09
S0
And it will provide you incentive not to need to bother with polarity anymore.
1:15:14
S1
K. I trust you enough to to to to me what you meant to do.
1:15:19
S2
Okay. Okay. Can can you stay a few more minutes?
1:15:24
S0
But but, see, your polarity is the culture. Mhmm. Hers is to herself. She's allergic to herself. Yours is the culture. Right. And I'm telling you that that's culture dominating your life, and I don't think it's that valuable. That's all I'm saying. You don't deserve that is what I'm saying.
1:15:50
S0
Because I don't wanna see culture have any relevance in you at all.
1:15:57
S0
I wanna see you walking down your street in your way.
1:16:05
S0
Get it? Yeah. That's what I wanna see.
1:16:10
S0
You see that over here now? That's it.
1:16:14
S1
Thank you.
1:16:15
S0
Because then that's a complete and utter end to competition.
1:16:21
S0
That's it.
1:16:24
S0
And part of why that gets that easy to do right there is because he's handled so much other stuff first.