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Illusion Conclusion
Jerry Stocking
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Illusion Conclusion — Core (16 Tapes)
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Tape 15 – Side B
Tape 15 – Side B
IC_T15B
39:35
51 nuggets
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Transcript
168 utterances · click to jump
00:02
S0
Linda spends most of her life looking at this is what I think he should eat. This is what I think I should eat. This is what I think he should eat. This is what I think you should eat.
00:17
S0
What would happen, and this is what we just did in the little dance between you two with shifting the groups, that's just a little hint of references. So if we do it on all different parameters and you become the whole field rather than just some point stuck in the field,
00:36
S0
instead of being a hole, you end up being the whole field.
00:42
S0
So can she attend to what he would want for lunch?
00:49
S0
She'd have to get out of her own little world and her own little illusion, which is the thing she's trying to protect all the time. Somebody might even attack it while she's away.
01:00
S0
Somebody might just run-in and do some damage to it while she goes over and figures out what he would want.
01:09
S0
And by the way, what's the likelihood that they both would agree about what he really should eat? None. For you, there's not even a what he really should eat. That's holy communion to where dick lives.
01:26
S0
If you got that, you got dick.
01:35
S1
What happens if you do just the opposite of what you think they should have or what you interpret they might be perfect for them?
01:43
S0
See, his game is his game is I will never attend to what I want. I will always attend to what they want. This is the beaten path. Beaten keyword here. This is her beaten path. He wants what I say he wants. And if he's gonna protest, I'm gonna teach him not to protest next time because whatever I say he wants, he wants. He goes the other way. Well, I I'd like to get what so your job is to get something. Who are you partnered with?
02:30
S1
I know I'm going to McDonald's for lunch.
02:33
S0
You have to get the most entertaining thing to watch her eat and the same for you. See, we have two people who run the same thing here. Here they are. This here's a a just a little model of those two on a date. Ready? What do you wanna do? Got it. Whatever you wanna do. Well, I'd like to do what you wanna do. Each time like it's an original idea. Well, I'd like to do what you wanna do. What do you
03:06
S2
wanna do? What do you wanna do? What are you gonna do? I wanna do what you wanna do. You wanna do what I
03:11
S0
wanna do. Where does your attention go? Anywhere but on either of these two.
03:18
S0
We could just stand like this all afternoon, couldn't we? When you what do you wanna do?
03:23
S2
Whatever you wanna do? Whatever you wanna do? Whenever
03:31
S0
Goddamn it. We're not going to McDonald's. Do you hear the question mark? I did not. I did. Unless we do.
03:44
S0
Unless those arches loom. Oh. And then we are.
03:50
S0
Who's home? Nope. Knock knock. Knock knock. Nobody's home. But the cars are in the driveway. The lights are on. The music is play the music is playing loudly. Nobody's home. Who's home? Nobody. I know Dave and Molly are in there. Yeah. But nobody's home. Got it? Yeah. You notice what your attention does? Can you see the wall?
04:18
S0
Right. But pretend I'm not here. That would be hard to do with these two, wouldn't it?
04:26
S0
See, you can look through them to see the wall.
04:32
S0
How many fingers am I holding up? And
04:42
S0
you guys, there's nothing wrong with this. It's just all patterns. It's just patterns that have not been examined sufficiently so they remain in place. They are still serving a big enough purpose for them to keep them in place. They need to focus their attention on the cost of these patterns.
05:09
S0
That's all you need to do. You don't need to change them. You need to focus your attention on the cost of these patterns because you currently, because they're still in place, are paying attention to the payoff. Can you fathom what this costs them?
05:28
S0
Can they fathom what it costs them? No. It's a reduction of confrontation. Mhmm. It's a gas philosophy.
05:39
S0
You know, gas expands to fit whatever area it's in or contracts to fit whatever area it's in. They need to learn about Avogadro's number. Do you guys know what that is?
05:53
S0
Six point something times 10 to the twenty sixth. Twenty sixth. What does that mean? What does that It's the number of
06:02
S3
Atoms or molecules in a gram or kilogram of substance.
06:08
S0
I knew that. Is it in any substance or it's just a gas? Any. Or is it any it it's gotta be just a gas.
06:17
S3
No. It's any substance.
06:19
S0
It is?
06:20
S3
Avogadro's number applies to any.
06:22
S0
It does. Okay. I didn't know that. I knew it regarding gases. I didn't know
06:26
S3
Thinking of another law or principle.
06:29
S0
I am. Which one?
06:30
S3
Oh, Gail Saxe or Charles or Boyles or
06:33
S0
Or Gail Sayers
06:37
S0
or Walter Payton.
06:41
S0
It's always higher than you think it is,
06:47
S0
income wise, height wise.
06:53
S0
So in other words, what I'm telling you is the constants are already taken care of. So you guys can start playing at lunch.
07:03
S0
Dominate her.
07:09
S0
Your wife is obvious. She's already in a specific location. This is harder. You're harder than she is. You're tougher than she is because you are hard to nail down. She just nailed herself down already. She lives nailed down. So that makes her easy. How would you rather hunt game that could run freely or game that's already nailed itself down? He's hunting game that's already nailed itself down. Well, the answer is, if you're starving hungry, you wanna hunt game that's nailed down. And if you're not starving hungry, you wanna hunt game that can run around.
07:51
S0
Because if you're starving hungry, you need to eat. And if you're not starving hungry, you need entertainment. That's the difference between survival and entertainment. She's already nailed herself down. Now the question is, can you budge her? And he's a satellite. But same thing here. She's married. Same thing. Same patterns. Yes.
08:19
S0
Except that she's running the typically male part of it and her husband was running the other part of it. So we'll get to it this afternoon. She runs other. He runs other. Her spouse runs switch and his spouse runs switch. And those are the patterns that fit together until the patterns start to move around if they do. So go on out to the grocery store, please, and come on back and eat it here.
08:53
S0
Everything we've done in here is geared toward having relationship work because everything we've done in here is geared toward having your life work. Itis the same thing.
09:05
S0
When we talked about Lindais
09:10
S0
what should be for lunch versus the other personis what should be for lunch versus what should really be for lunch, The easiest way to have relationship work is to have a reference. The third point here is a reference. A point that is independent of you and independent of you that you can both reference off of in order to determine your location. The only thing you're ever searching for in relationship is some reference to know where you are.
09:48
S0
You are to do all sorts of work here
09:53
S0
on earth which requires massive disorientation.
10:01
S0
You have generally defined all problems as having some disorientation in them. That's what a problem is when you get disoriented. But that's also what growth is. You need a relationship to orient you so that you can go way out
10:24
S0
and know where you are coming back to. So that you can have someone to hold the spot for you
10:34
S0
when you are going way out there.
10:37
S0
I go way out there when I am leading. I lie here, Karen touches my feet. She touches my head for a period of time, and here I am again. Where was I? I have no idea, but I've surrounded myself with people who can bring me back when it's time to bring me back. Sometimes the coming back is very peculiar.
11:04
S0
Sometimes it's very odd. It tends to look sometimes, not for an IC course, but for advanced courses like the Personal Renaissance course this was true and GLOW courses it tends to be true. It looks like giving birth. It's coming back here to the shared craziness that all of you live in
11:29
S0
because I leave it to lead advanced courses, then I have to come back to it. I have to come back to it to deal with the kids. I have to come back to it to walk from here to there successfully.
11:45
S0
Relationship should provide you that grounding, but it should also provide you the zing to go out, to go way way out. And my suspicion is why many of you have a hard time in relationship is you attempt relationship as a competition to find out who gets the win, but you also do it in order to have a level of comfort. Relationship's not about comfort. If you get a little comfort, congratulations. But think of there you are and there's the edge. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone's hand to hold as you neared the edge?
12:30
S0
Sometimes theyire on the edge side from you, sometimes theyire further back this way.
12:36
S0
One of the little exercises that weive done in some courses before is the mountain climbing exercise.
12:45
S0
And that is very simply, we have everybody close their eyes and we say, who in here would go mountain climbing with Linda? Meaning, who in here would trust Linda with their life?
13:02
S0
Who in here would trust Brian with their life? You don't get to just pick one. You get to pick whomever, as many as you want. And by that, you get a measure of who trusts you sufficiently to trust two measures. You get a measure about you and you get a measure about them.
13:25
S0
The first time we ever did this, we had a man and a woman in the course who were married. She only got one vote
13:34
S0
in the whole group of people. Only one person said they would go mountain climbing with her. She voted for herself.
13:42
S0
You should have seen the look she gave her husband when she saw her vote.
13:50
S0
There was a little Italian guy at a course in Milwaukee many years ago when we did it, and I miscounted, and I wrote a much larger number by him than there was, and he behaved totally differently the whole rest of the day. He behaved like everyone trusted him. He became somebody. He became someone who was trustworthy.
14:19
S0
My goodness. If all these people are gonna trust me, I better get trustworthy.
14:27
S0
And someone who wasn't in the group in the back pointed out to me that I'd written the wrong number. I wasn't sorry I wrote the wrong number.
14:37
S0
Who in this group would you trust with your life? That also gives you data about your life, doesn't it?
14:46
S0
How closely you hold your life?
14:49
S0
How careful are you going to be? Are you going to be too careful about trusting them with your life or are you going to be too loose about trusting them with your life?
15:00
S0
Everything's about relationship.
15:04
S0
Everything there is because it's about the movement from you out and back in and that's relationship.
15:13
S0
And if relationship exists at the level of stories, it doesn't really exist at all. It's a very thin layer considering that you both have hearts and those are beating together. Those are relating all the time.
15:27
S0
Now if they don't break often enough, they don't notice really that they're relating.
15:33
S0
So every exercise we do varying your visual auditory kinesthetic,
15:39
S0
arguing in blahs, any number of things that we have done in here are all applicable to relationship because they're all about your growth and that's what relationship is about.
15:54
S0
But you can't have just the patterns relate or you're in trouble.
16:01
S0
The patterns won't pick what's best for you. The patterns will pick what's best for them to go on unnoticed,
16:12
S0
to go on and generate more of what they've generated right along.
16:18
S0
Thatis what patterns do. Their job is to make sure that they get to run.
16:24
S0
How was your lunch? Kind of fun?
16:31
S0
My mother was visiting a friend of hers once who was an engineer
16:37
S0
and it just, to me, is the perfect case of lack of generalization.
16:48
S0
She was opening a coffee can. Remember when coffee cans had the key? You take it off the bottom and you put it on. She was opening the coffee can but having a horrible time doing it. She had the key downward.
17:07
S0
And she was an engineer. But she had the key downward, and that makes it very difficult to open it. She never considered having it upward. And it's like, oh, jeez. You'd think they'd make these things easier.
17:25
S0
What are you missing
17:28
S0
right now? And what do you miss in relationship? And what do you miss when it gets a little tough that could make life a little easier? A little easier with it up? It's an awful lot more fun, isn't it?
17:48
S0
Awful lot more fun.
17:53
S0
So how differently would you shop for different people at the grocery store? How would you shop for yourself versus the Dalai Lama versus her versus whomever? What if you didn't just have to be stuck being your own specific set of limitations?
18:16
S0
And every once in a while and of course somebody says, but this really is who I am. It's not. There's no who I am. There wasn't a who I am before you were born. There clearly won't be a who I am after you're dead. What makes you think there's this little segment of genuine who I am in between? And if so, what kind of a difference could it make?
18:46
S0
There's not a who I am now.
18:51
S0
There's just a bundle of illusion. And it doesn't even make good kindling.
18:57
S0
It doesn't make good long burning stuff like oak does and it doesn't make good kindling like cedar does. It just kind of sits there and whimpers. Notice? Uh-huh. That's what a oh, yeah. The word from last night, simper. Simper. How long has it been since you heard that one? We're going to bring that one back around. What do you think? How many of you have heard of it? Okay. Time to bring it back around, isn't it? How long has it been since you heard somebody say it? A long time.
19:33
S0
What if you started really watching people? I used to have a friend named Eagle Feather. He got his name because he moved up by where we were up north and got a job managing some computers at an Indian casino. So we called him Eagle Feather. One day I said, we don't have to keep calling you Eagle Feather. You know, it's just a made up game and it's okay with me if we call you something else. You can just tell us what to call you. If you want us to call you your real name, if you want to keep eagle feather, you can. I'm still gonna a bald eagle flies across in front of the van
20:17
S0
And he just sort of giggles. He's a little fat. He just sort of giggles, and he says, I think I'll keep it.
20:29
S0
But he where he lived, there was a grocery store right next to it, just a little grocery store, and there was this woman who always checked him out. And this woman had a constant grumbling in her head. She was always complaining in her head about something. She seldom let it out, but occasionally it would sneak out. And
20:52
S0
he called her see, you have to make up names for people that fit. Ouchie.
21:00
S0
And from that moment on, every time we saw this woman, it was humor and delight. And we could interact with her in an upbeat thing because we had called a spade a spade. Hi, ouchie.
21:16
S0
She was. Ouchie. So you need in a relationship to find somebody who finds your hiding places and doesn't let you hide there anymore. If you're lazy, they gotta get you going. If you tend to be so active and so busy, they gotta slow you down.
21:41
S0
Eagle Feather was at a course that we held in Atlanta many years ago, a weekend course. He was one of the funniest human beings I've ever met. He was truly funny. But we're on the way to the course, and Karen wants something from McDonald's, a little breakfast from McDonald's. She would know better than that now.
22:08
S0
So we pull into McDonald's. He's driving.
22:13
S0
You gotta find where they hide.
22:17
S0
This happens to be my profession.
22:21
S0
Is finding where people hide. You've heard stories, right? You don't see much of it here, but it in the advanced courses,
22:32
S0
you have to find where they hide. So he pulls up to the drive in. I crank up the radio.
22:42
S0
He goes nuts. He can't hear what a minimum wage employee is saying over this tiny little outside speaker.
22:54
S0
He is so terrified in his life that he has to have the change ready when he pulls around and be sure he knows that she got the order right and be certain that the whole he reaches over, he turns it back down, he starts to speak, I turn it back up again. He's like
23:12
S0
he gets done, he starts to pull forward, he's just crazy.
23:18
S0
Not only livid, but a combination of sadness and anger and every emotion that you could I mean, this huge guy is just sitting here.
23:29
S0
He looks at me. He almost yells. He says, I don't know how much it is.
23:38
S0
But don't you do this in your own spot?
23:46
S0
I dare you drive up to a drive in at a place and scream your order. You won't have an easy time doing so.
23:57
S0
Where else do you hide? He gets up to the window. I crank the radio again.
24:06
S0
He was gone for the whole day. He was down in the basement duping tapes because we couldn't have him upstairs. This was at somebody's house because he was too much in the way of the course.
24:22
S0
And meanwhile, Wally's downstairs duping tapes. I'm leading the course, and I happen to mention
24:32
S0
him and tell a little story about him. And he comes upstairs not knowing this has happened. He walks out. Everybody looks at him and screams, there he is.
24:44
S0
I think I was talking about masturbation or something. And down he goes for the duration.
24:53
S0
You need to find people who find those spots,
24:59
S0
who find those spots that you absolutely can't possibly wanna put out front. Because when you put them out front, you're gonna find out they don't exist and they never did exist and everything that they kept you from is now available.
25:21
S0
And that's what illusion does. It just gets in the way of what's really there over and over and over again. But you got to do the little tiny exercises we do here. You got to do those little tiny play things. It's not by tackling the whole thing that it'll work. In that same course, I didn't tell you about Barbara, did I? We had this crazy woman, absolutely insane. Every once in a while, we get one of these. Barbara kicked her feet, screamed in the middle of courses, did all of this sort of I mean, nuts. Fred loved her. Fred loves crazy people. Just insane. I mean disturbing the course. She would pounding her feet like this as loud as she could while I'm talking.
26:13
S0
You know, Iim not about ready to give it attention or invite her back.
26:20
S0
And sheis also brilliant and of course a psychotherapist.
26:27
S0
In this case it's hyphenated. Psychotherapist.
26:37
S0
She was truly psycho and a therapist. So a day and a half after the course, the next Tuesday evening, she gets apprehended by the police wandering around in her nightclothes. She also was fairly good sized,
26:55
S0
outside. And they arrest her and rather than taking her to jail, they take her to an institution, just like a holding place.
27:06
S0
So here is the psychotherapist in her nightclothes in the institution. I get a call. She says it was a great course.
27:16
S0
I really enjoyed it and I am in this institution and I have discovered already she is on a calling card. I have discovered how many friends I have because all these people are coming to visit me. And this is just marvelous because I had no idea I had this many friends. Over the next two or three days I get more calls from her. She's just calling to check-in and say hi.
27:39
S0
By about Friday I get a call and she says, I'm ready to get out. What do I do?
27:50
S0
And I said, you're sure you're ready to get out? And she said, yes. I'm sure I'm ready to get out. I said, when do you have some kind of review or something? She said, he's coming this afternoon. He won't be here at 02:00 because he said he'd be here at 02:00. He'll probably be here at four or five just to show me who's boss. She's not dumb. So about 05:00 he shows up. I had her prepared. I said, you go in the meeting and you sit there and you say, I don't know when I should be released, but you do and I would very much appreciate you letting me know when it's time.
28:31
S0
She called about 06:30. She was out.
28:37
S0
What would she have normally done? Given him a piece of her mind and told her that him that she should have been out already and instead she just surrendered. And he went, wow. She's okay. And out she goes. I don't think she's been back in since. That's many years ago.
29:00
S0
You guys are already institutionalized and now the only question is, are you ever going to get out?
29:09
S0
So we've done, oh, I don't know, two or three, maybe four or five things this week, right?
29:18
S2
A few.
29:21
S0
So what have we done? Karen, would you come up front? What have we done that you can practice?
29:30
S0
After you leave here, you're going to go back and forth. You're going to think, oh, nothing really happened. Oh, too much happened. Oh, you're going to you're going to think.
29:43
S0
In short, most likely.
29:47
S0
I have a few words of warning after this. One is don't make any important decisions for at least a month
29:59
S0
after the course. Decisions may rise up that you really must don't make them because all kinds of stuff is stirred up that you don't even know exists. Don't make terribly important decisions. Another thing is don't go out and start pointing this stuff out to people who weren't in the course. You will offend the dickens out of them and it will not be a positive experience for either party. Watch it. Point it out to them by attending to it, but not by talking about it. With the exception of people you know who have done the course And I would surround myself if I were you and I have surrounded myself with people who have done the courses. I mean I mean Fred's discovered this enrolling people, which is that he now has the kinds of conversations he's always wanted to have with people his whole life. He calls them up and they don't talk about the weather. They talk about what's important to themselves. He talks about what's important to him. Like to have a whole lot of people around you that you could talk to like that. That's that's the game here.
31:12
S0
Also, some of you, this is not your first IC course. Molly came into this course saying, I've done the GLOW, I've done the IC, I've done the how is it? Different? Yeah. Differently different. Yeah. You're a completely different person. And the course doesn't resemble the other courses. It's not going to. This is your course. You think I did this for me? This is your course and it entirely depends on the blend of human beings we have here. She comes in and she goes, okay, know what a VI what?
31:49
S0
Yeah, and youill listen to different tapes of different ICs. We have one therapist in California whois 70 some years of age. I don't remember what he had. Think at last count he had seven different IC courses on tape. And he says, You can't call these courses the same name. You can't because they are not the same thing. And he's just in awe of how different they could possibly be. That's it depends on what you guys need.
32:25
S0
I make sure that you get what you need. I don't care about your opinion about what you need
32:32
S0
because my job is to make sure that you get what you need.
32:37
S0
So congratulations to you guys.
32:43
S0
You went after it over and over and over and over and over again. You notice that? Mhmm. See any shifts in patterns in some of the other people in the group? Yeah. They're in you too?
33:00
S0
They are.
33:03
S0
You did great. Now go out and play. This has been a heck of a week. It's not a week that ends now. It's a week that you get to go out and play starting tomorrow or tonight.
33:21
S0
Within a couple of weeks, we'll have the tapes to you of your course.
33:26
S0
Listen to them often. Listen to if you check out listening to one particular area, listen to it again and again until you hear it. That's probably something highly appropriate at the time that fits for you.
33:44
S0
This is an IC course. You did it. Remember where we started?
33:52
S0
Here she is.
34:04
S0
Sounds different now.
36:35
S0
She was walking down the stairs, 33 years of age, tripped,
36:43
S0
didn't know that anything particular had happened and three days later she died. She was 33 years old. Would she have produced some music? Had she lived?
36:56
S0
Wow. Who was that? Sandy Denny. Amazing music she produced by 33 years of age.
37:06
S0
You guys are softies. Look around. Aren't you?
37:12
S0
You don't have to be tough out there anymore. Ever.
37:19
S0
If you open, everybody wins. If you close, it becomes a competition again. We don't need that.
37:31
S0
I promise I'll be playing tonight and tomorrow
37:39
S0
and so on. And I invite you to do the same.
37:45
S0
As you're out playing, you'll get this list, play with a bunch of these different things, and if you run out of stuff to practice, give Karen a call or Fred and have a chat with them.
38:00
S0
But make sure you are practicing and they can tell. If you are growing, we are entirely available to you. If you are not, you don't need us.
38:15
S0
So we're around.
38:18
S0
Thank you very much for the way you did the course.
38:23
S0
Congratulations.
38:26
S0
And the course starts now in many different locations.
38:33
S0
Thank you, Julie. Thanks. Thank you. Go out and play. And thank you all very much.
38:42
S3
Congratulations on listening to the illusion conclusion tape set. That's a lot. And we invite you to listen again. Every time you listen, your experience will deepen and you'll hear things you swear weren't on the tape the first time or the second time you listened. So keep listening, keep playing, keep practicing, and come out and join us in person for an illusion conclusion course. See you later. Thanks for listening.